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LDR issue


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 16th March 2019, 11:27 AM   #1
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LDR issue

So Iíve been in a LDR for over 3 years. We see each other almost every week now. Things have been going pretty good. We both have kids. My last one is about to graduate and I plan to move near my gf.

I decided to take a trip overseas with my son. Heís off to the military after graduation. My decision on the destination was last minute due to passport issues. This upset my gf because part of my stay is a destination she and I discussed visiting. She feels I should have told her before making the reservations and now has pretty much cut off communication. I agree that I should have discussed it with her but Iím beginning to feel like the punishment Iím getting does not fit the crime. I apologized and I do feel bad that my lack of communication has created this. I love her dearly but Iím Day 3 into this and things arenít getting better.

Thoughts?
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Old 16th March 2019, 12:23 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by GoBucks91 View Post

Thoughts?

1. How far is she from you?
2. You messed up and now have a hard time dealing with it.
3. What have you done these past 3 days when she cut communication? You gotta make up for what you did.
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Old 16th March 2019, 2:12 PM   #3
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1. How far is she from you?
2. You messed up and now have a hard time dealing with it.
3. What have you done these past 3 days when she cut communication? You gotta make up for what you did.
I offered to come up before my trip and she said no

I talked to her yesterday and apologized. I told her I see her point and tried to talk things out

Iíve tried reaching out via text and get a limited response. She is now out of town and said we can talk when I get back

Iíve never seen her so mad. I didnít do it out of spite, I was trying to have one last trip before my son leaves. It was last minute because he didnít have a passport until a week ago
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Old 16th March 2019, 8:42 PM   #4
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Did you know that this was somewhere she really wanted to go with you? And, why did you chose this particular destination to go with your son? Just curious...

I can understand why she would be upset. I am in a similar position, and it’s hard to watch your partner go on holiday and have a great time without you - particularly if it’s somewhere you really want to go...

That said, I have encouraged my partner to make these trips with his son because I know, they have a limited time to travel together and there will be other trips for us in the future.

She can certainly go back with you... I’d start saving and planning...
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Old 17th March 2019, 4:38 AM   #5
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You went on the trip for YOUR SON! He comes first and if shes upset about something you can't control then she can take the nearest exit !!!
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Old 17th March 2019, 8:03 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by justwhoiam View Post
1. How far is she from you?
2. You messed up and now have a hard time dealing with it.
3. What have you done these past 3 days when she cut communication? You gotta make up for what you did.
I respectfully DISAGREE.

OP, you did nothing wrong. If your girlfriend is so damned petty and jealous that she has to act like a freakin' child throwing a tantrum just because you booked a trip and will see ONE of the destinations you'd discussed seeing with her one day, then that's just too damned bad. You should NEVER have to apologize to anyone for that! Too bad, so sad for HER. Tell her to get the hell over it.

You only get ONE chance to make memories with your son after his graduation and before he joins the military, and this trip is it. How friggn selfish can this woman BE that she's trying to make your trip all about HER? She sounds like a nasty, spoiled little witch.

For the love of all that's holy, STOP kissing her ass and apologizing to her and begging for her forgiveness! Take her down off that pedestal you have her up on. Seriously - you look weak, needy and desperate kissing up to her and asking her to forgive you when you did nothing wrong!

If I were you, I'd be telling Miss Thang she can kiss your ass. I kid you not.

Last edited by Mrs._December; 17th March 2019 at 8:05 AM..
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Old 17th March 2019, 9:52 AM   #7
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Yeah , this is a very important time you can never get back and it's a beautiful gesture for you and your son.
Mrs D summed it up far as l'm concerned .
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Old 17th March 2019, 5:28 PM   #8
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I respectfully DISAGREE.

OP, you did nothing wrong. If your girlfriend is so damned petty and jealous that she has to act like a freakin' child throwing a tantrum just because you booked a trip and will see ONE of the destinations you'd discussed seeing with her one day, then that's just too damned bad. You should NEVER have to apologize to anyone for that! Too bad, so sad for HER. Tell her to get the hell over it.

You only get ONE chance to make memories with your son after his graduation and before he joins the military, and this trip is it. How friggn selfish can this woman BE that she's trying to make your trip all about HER? She sounds like a nasty, spoiled little witch.

For the love of all that's holy, STOP kissing her ass and apologizing to her and begging for her forgiveness! Take her down off that pedestal you have her up on. Seriously - you look weak, needy and desperate kissing up to her and asking her to forgive you when you did nothing wrong!

If I were you, I'd be telling Miss Thang she can kiss your ass. I kid you not.
Thanks. Iím trying to tune out but dealing with this during my vacation is not easy
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Old 11th April 2019, 9:22 PM   #9
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I respectfully DISAGREE.

OP, you did nothing wrong.
That's BS, just to be in line with your kissing expressions.

There are millions of destinations in the world. This man really had to go somewhere he was supposed to visit with his girlfriend?? COME ON.

Something similar happened to me. He never, and I mean NEVER went to some event that had been going on for like 15 years. Never been interested, never looked into it. 2 months before my trip visiting him, I tell him I'd like to go there. It was a Halloween event. He says OK. Tickets are not out yet, but they will be soon. Next thing I know, as soon as the ticket sale opens and I'm about to buy them (so arranging date and time), he says he's got the tickets already to go with his children. I was very very p-ssed. That was a one-thing event for us. We had plans. He ruined them. Totally. He offered to go there anyway, but it should have been a new thing for us both. This totally ruined the idea behind, the sense of it.

What I couldn't be mad at was that he was taking his children there. So I told myself, if I'm renouncing this romantic night out, this awesome unique experience so that his children can experience it, then fine... But the irony of it was... the kids -being teenagers- were not even thrilled about it. So all in all it was a waste (of time, money & effort) about something that would have been magical for us.
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Old 15th April 2019, 5:01 PM   #10
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Seems petty. Let her come to you. Hold your ground because although she is disappointed you did not do this intentionally to hurt her feelings and she should come around.

LDR's are hard enough, she wants to hold a grudge that you decided to go somewhere with your son, because she has fantasised about going with you there first? That is selfish. Unless you told her previously that you would never go there without her, then it is selfish of her to expect that.

It may feel disappointing to her because she imagined going with you, and I get that, but you could still go with her in the future to the same place or another destination you hope to go to. That is a compromise. Things dont always go as one person hopes. The experience is always different with different people I think.

If she can't take a compromise and wants to take it personally, that is on her, and really says more about how she feels about the relationship if she is willing to let this come between you. Silent treatment is not healthy, but then again she is travelling and maybe her disappointment just requires her to be quiet and reflect on things for a bit. She should realize she is not being reasonable and values your relationship more than this argument.
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