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LDR with Thia girl


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Hello, everyone.

 

So I recently went on holiday to Thialand. Whlist there I met Thia Girl. Kind, sweet the usual. We spent my Holiday together. She brought me drinks, food. Took me to her favourtie beach. We got on exceptionally well. Met her friends. Just generally good.

 

Im 21. Shes 24. She works in Bangkok. Hooters to be specific. She speaks english very well and is just about to finish her 4 year degree in buisness english.

 

Upon leaving Thialand she asked If I would come back to see her and be exclusive so speak.

 

Now I've been in a lot realtionships in my short life, lived abroad, also worked abroad with the British Army. However I have never been in LDR especially with a Thia girl.

 

I read as much as could from other posters in the same positon. I understand that being LDR is at highter rate of failure.

 

My question is what advice do people have in regards to it?

 

My expectations are low, we both agree communication is a must. She is quite paraniod, so I do my best to ensure that she feels comfortable. We message back and forth few times a day and call about 3x times week. It was more, however like most the novelty has worn off now and is now just general check ups on each other.

 

I am returning in June for 3 weeks we are going to koi samui, bangkok, and koi paghang.

 

Between now and then... What should I expect? Also tips to keep a LDR going strong and finally what mindset should I adopt? Is my current one of having low expections and just being fun a good one?

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Just keep up communication & see what happens in June. At present you are both putting too much pressure on yourselves & the relationship

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Do not pay one iota of attention to reply times.

 

Stay in touch. Try writing newsy old fashioned snail mail letters. Talk & skype. But keep things light.

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Mrs._December

I'm assuming "Thialand" is actually Thailand?

 

A few things you need to know. You're 21 years old which means you don't have a lot of life experience. I'm sorry, that's just the reality of the situation. But that's what's going to get the rug pulled out from underneath you.

 

A lot of the girls from Thailand and other Asian countries are always seeking out foreign men for 'love' relationships but the truth is, it's NOT for love. They're simply looking for a way out of their own countries and for a better life in a better country. They'll have you fooled into thinking they love you more than life itself, but for most, that's really not why they're with you.

 

Much older men who should know better get taken for rides like this ALL the time by women who just somehow magically 'fall in love' with them after only 2 scant weeks of knowing these guys. And the next thing you know, a year or two later they're spending a fortune to bring these women over to their country thinking they're going to get a happily ever after with them. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

Not so much.

 

So my advice? Watch out.

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Thanks for reply. So dont get caught up in little silly things like reply times and just be carefree so speak untill june.

 

No, especially since I assume you are not even in the same time zone. I live abroad, and have to continuously remind myself that when I am in the middle of the afternoon locally, my family and friends in my home country are just barely waking up. When I am busy at work, they are all just checking their phones while having breakfast. I often can't reply promptly when they message me, and likewise for them when I send messages. Reply times in such circumstances are a very inaccurate way to measure someone's interest.

 

Is she anxious about how long it takes you to reply to her? Or vice versa?

Edited by ExpatInItaly
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No I was just making example. Overall Im very laid back anyway. She is paranoid but has always been honest so far when something concearns her she is up front and honest.

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No I was just making example. Overall Im very laid back anyway. She is paranoid but has always been honest so far when something concearns her she is up front and honest.

 

About what, exactly?

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About me cheating. Or finding someone else.

 

Then this is not sustainable. You can't have a regular conventional relationship without trust. You absolutely cannot have an LDR with great trust.

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Hence my reason for taking it light. I trust her, Im not one for trying to control things out of my reach. so far she has been great at letting go. Time will tell. ultimately Its an experience I appreciate the advice heeded here.

 

 

Light fun and communicative.

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Veteran of Thai relationships here haha.

 

Thai girls in real relationships are loving, dedicated and make great LTR and wife material. Ones who work in bars or, in this case, Hooters, will often have a few of you on the leash to see who works out. She will absolutely deflect this by being jealous that YOU have someone else, but I've been burned twice in the same situation and know that there is often either a) a Thai boyfriend in the background (often referred to as a brother) or b) other farang in the same boat as you.

 

Treat your holiday as a chance to do some banging and be exclusive for the time that you are there, but not before or beyond that. Your age and inexperience make you an easy mark.

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Does the situation change? If she only just got the job there?

 

Also I take it you're saying despite her asking for exclusivity. She wont. Therefore I shouldn't either?

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I was going to ignore the typo in your title, but then I saw it was repeated THREE MORE TIMES....

 

 

Oh god, four, actually. *facepalm*

 

 

Tip #1 for LDRs: Learn to spell their country's name correctly. You know, like Amurica.

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You do know you aren't the only foreigner she has going with the same deal ?.. there are others and before long the request for money or objects will start...

 

IMO....

 

Be wary about it, if you go ahead with this don't send her any money or Amazon her anything till you can be sure she isn't going to scam you

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You do know you aren't the only foreigner she has going with the same deal ?.. there are others and before long the request for money or objects will start...

 

IMO....

 

Be wary about it, if you go ahead with this don't send her any money or Amazon her anything till you can be sure she isn't going to scam you

 

 

Yeah don't worry. Im not one for spending on a girl I've only spent a week with :laugh: However do you recommend. I stay exclusive?

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However do you recommend. I stay exclusive?

 

You have to be good to your word.. whatever that is you have told her...

 

If you cheat you suck.. that is pretty simple...

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You have to be good to your word.. whatever that is you have told her...

 

If you cheat you suck.. that is pretty simple...

 

I'm glad you said that. As it seems that most people here recommend I go against my word. I will stay exclusive and assume she does the same until proven otherwise

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I don't think most people here want you to go against your word, per se, but rather to point out how unrealistic the whole concept of exclusivity is in these circumstances.

 

You are committing to someone who is virtually a stranger to you, who lives half a world away. It's not exactly a solid foundation.

 

If you have promised you won't date others, then don't. If you decide to retract that, tell her. Just be careful, because you don't really know what you are signing up for. That would be true for anyone trying to pursue a relationship within the same parameters as yours, regardless of nationality. The fact that she does indeed hail from a country known for relationships/marriages of convenience between local women and Western men gives you even more reason to proceed with caution.

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I don't think most people here want you to go against your word, per se, but rather to point out how unrealistic the whole concept of exclusivity is in these circumstances.

 

You are committing to someone who is virtually a stranger to you, who lives half a world away. It's not exactly a solid foundation.

 

If you have promised you won't date others, then don't. If you decide to retract that, tell her. Just be careful, because you don't really know what you are signing up for. That would be true for anyone trying to pursue a relationship within the same parameters as yours, regardless of nationality. The fact that she does indeed hail from a country known for relationships/marriages of convenience between local women and Western men gives you even more reason to proceed with caution.

 

 

 

 

 

I will do! Thank you. take it, light so per speak. Anything in particular to look out for?

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