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Can this relationship work?


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I live in the US and she lives in Thailand. We've been talking for almost two years now and we really like each other. I feel she really understands me and treats me very politely. She has so many qualities that I want a gf to have.

She's Muslim, but I'm not. We're both in our mid 20s.

I've tried to meet women locally but they can't even compare.

 

So my question is can this relationship work? Is her love for me real?

I feel it's real but I just want a second opinion.

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Have you met? Have you looked into the myriad of immigration obstacles you face & do you have a plan to overcome them?

 

If the answer to both Qs is not yes, then no this can't work.

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explain please

 

You have developed this probably unrealistic fantasy of the perfect woman but it's all in your mind.

 

Have you ever met, dated, etc?

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Have you met? Have you looked into the myriad of immigration obstacles you face & do you have a plan to overcome them?

 

If the answer to both Qs is not yes, then no this can't work.

We haven't met yet. As far as immigration if I remember correctly, I just need to prove I have a good income to sustain the person.

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We haven't met yet. As far as immigration if I remember correctly, I just need to prove I have a good income to sustain the person.

 

Until you meet this is a fantasy. It's not real.

 

 

Book a trip & see what happens. If you still like each other after you meet then you can start planning another trip for her to come to you.

 

After that trip then you can talk about where you may want to live. She may hate it in So Cal. Do you want to move there?

 

At that point, you need to sit down with a good immigration lawyer if your plan is for her to come here. This is about waaaaayyyyy more then you being able to support her. Until you understand this, it's all pie in the sky.

 

Read up on a lot of the horror stories -- the catfishers, the women who get here & then hate it because they are too far from home; the scammers who only want a green card, the ones who prey on vulnerable lonely men for money. After you do that & can identify all the frauds, then you can see where you stand.

 

Step one is always meet. Since you are not there yet, this is unsustainable.

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We haven't met yet. As far as immigration if I remember correctly, I just need to prove I have a good income to sustain the person.

 

Sorry man but for all you know this could be a man scamming you.

 

I can't tell you how many times even on dating sites where the facade doesn't meet reality.

 

And she's even in a different country no less?

 

Better wake up

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Sorry man but for all you know this could be a man scamming you.

 

I can't tell you how many times even on dating sites where the facade doesn't meet reality.

 

And she's even in a different country no less?

 

Better wake up

We video chat very often, I know she's a real person

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Until you meet this is a fantasy. It's not real.

 

 

Book a trip & see what happens. If you still like each other after you meet then you can start planning another trip for her to come to you.

 

After that trip then you can talk about where you may want to live. She may hate it in So Cal. Do you want to move there?

 

At that point, you need to sit down with a good immigration lawyer if your plan is for her to come here. This is about waaaaayyyyy more then you being able to support her. Until you understand this, it's all pie in the sky.

 

Read up on a lot of the horror stories -- the catfishers, the women who get here & then hate it because they are too far from home; the scammers who only want a green card, the ones who prey on vulnerable lonely men for money. After you do that & can identify all the frauds, then you can see where you stand.

 

Step one is always meet. Since you are not there yet, this is unsustainable.

 

 

Alright, I'll do some research. This is why I'm asking for a second opinion. Again as I've written before, we do video chat, so I know she's real.

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What you think you know through letters, videos, calls & chats is not who either of you are. You have to meet. I can't emphasize that enough.

 

Book a plane ticket for you to go there.

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Alright, I'll do some research. This is why I'm asking for a second opinion. Again as I've written before, we do video chat, so I know she's real.

 

Ok but you don't know her motivation, etc. it could be just a put on.

 

This happens all the time. How long has this communication been going on?

 

Muslim families are not keen on relationships outside their religious backgrounds.

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Ok but you don't know her motivation, etc. it could be just a put on.

 

This happens all the time. How long has this communication been going on?

 

Muslim families are not keen on relationships outside their religious backgrounds.

We've been chatting for about 2 years now. I get what you guys are saying.

 

And just the thought of traveling to Thailand scares me a little.

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We've been chatting for about 2 years now. I get what you guys are saying.

 

And just the thought of traveling to Thailand scares me a little.

 

How do you think she feels about traveling to the US? If you can't go there, this is completely doomed. You also need to be chivalrous about all this & go there if your end game is to get her to immigrate here.

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How do you think she feels about traveling to the US? If you can't go there, this is completely doomed. You also need to be chivalrous about all this & go there if your end game is to get her to immigrate here.

I know she's also nervous about coming here since her English isn't so good.

 

One of my friends on facebook travels to Thailand and he says the people there are nice. Besides that I do like her. Her being muslim though does make me wonder if long term we can make the relationship work.

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Stop with the hypotheticals & the wondering already. It's been 2 years. Buy a plane ticket already & then talk to her. But her religious views aren't going to make it any easier to get her into the US in this climate.

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Go and meet her in person before you even speculate about the possibility of a relationship. I would also caution you that you may very well be one of a few men she talks to. All you know about her is what she tells you; you have had essentially zero opportunity to verify if it's true. You don't know what she is like day to day, how your chemistry will be in person, or how you would overcome the cultural, language and religious differences.

 

And please, do speak to an immigration lawyer. You are very under-informed about what sponsoring a foreign spouse entails, especially one that happens to come from a part of the world where marriages of convenience are not uncommon.

 

If you're not willing to travel to her, and not willing to speak to a legal professional to do you due diligence, then this will work, no.

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Mrs._December
I haven't sent any money just letters and gifts and she does the same

Jeez.

 

Why do you THINK women from Thailand and other Asian countries are always so eager to meet FOREIGN men? They live in hugely populated areas, so it's not like they're lonely and don't have the option to meet a man where they live.

 

I'll TELL you why they prefer foreign men. Because YOU are their ticket out of their country to a better life, that's why they'll spend all this time romancing you via Skype and everything else. You're a means to an end for them. And believe me, they're very good at making you think they looooooove you oh so much.

 

And lastly, the chances are pretty high you're not the only one she's romancing. These girls want a better life and a lot of them will keep plenty of guys on the hook until one of them delivers and puts their money where their mouth is and starts the process of getting her out of Thailand.

 

Will it be you? Will it be one of the others she's likely romancing?

 

Let it be one of them.

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Get your ass over there and meet her. Thailand is amazing. And two years is just BS. The duration of chatting doesn't make the relationship any more real. Go there.

 

The Muslim thing is the BIG deal. You would have been better off pairing up with any of the 30 million Buddhist girls instead.

 

For the people that will assume she just wants a green card, the majority of Thais love Thailand and would rather be there. Don't base your views on a few scenes from The Hangover Part II. It's as cosmopolitan as the next place in some places, contrasted by the old world nature in others.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Lgurljapancupid

We've been in a relationship for 3 yrs. Met once a year ago he's in UK and I'm in Philippines he have helped me alot before we always argued because I'm always jealous of his female friend not used to it and I know it's not right... We argued and break up 3 week ago and found out he was a 2 timer stil in a relationship with long term ldr gf who is much older than us she lives in japan with her daughter.... I'm 29 he's 32 so he almost ignored me for 3 weeks... I tried massaging.him on email to atleast talk to have a proper end but then he starts messaging me and we start talking again he said he's being transparent this time and needed time to choose from the 2 of us he said he needs to think because it's about his future... I know he sound selfish but I love him so much everyone thinks I'm stupid but I dunno what will happen next he doesn't want me to think negatively and think there's no hope... Sigh he treats that woman much better... I wish it's easy for me to just leave him but unfortunately no :(

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Biggest obstacle: Religious differences, which will be important to Obstacle Number 2, her parents, and then Obstacle Number 3: Immigration.

 

But you are getting way ahead of yourself because until you spend at least a year dating face to face you know NOTHING about each other. The face to face thing is a must and it can't just be one time you both on polite behavior.

 

The other thing is you don't know what her motives are. You don't know if she has any maturity. You don't know if she could handle being away from her friends and family or vice versa. It's not at all likely this will work out.

 

I'll never understand why, when there's a billion women in the world, and half of people around you every time you walk out on the street are women, people can't date local. Honestly, to me it points to a bigger problem that you can't pick someone out of the general population who you'd have more in common with.

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just the thought of traveling to Thailand scares me a little.

 

 

Well, remember freedom? You'll need to rethink your concept of freedom.

 

 

Now, if you're lucky enough not to get involved in some thai girl scam as others mentioned (please watch this video:

), you'd still have to deal with the following:

 

 

At this point, if travelling to Thailand scares you a little, and converting into Islam scares you a bit more, please remember that marriage in a specific country will mean that you'll have to abide by the rules and laws of that country (besides the religious ones). So in case children are born, they wouldn't be able to leave the country without their mother's consent. Therefore you can draw your conclusions.

 

 

Last but not least, you can read more about freedom in Thailand here: https://freedomhouse.org/report/freedom-world/2018/thailand

 

 

If you're ready for the jump, pack up your stuff and go.

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Get your ass over there and meet her. Thailand is amazing. And two years is just BS. The duration of chatting doesn't make the relationship any more real. Go there.

 

The Muslim thing is the BIG deal. You would have been better off pairing up with any of the 30 million Buddhist girls instead.

 

For the people that will assume she just wants a green card, the majority of Thais love Thailand and would rather be there. Don't base your views on a few scenes from The Hangover Part II. It's as cosmopolitan as the next place in some places, contrasted by the old world nature in others.

 

 

 

I second this, dead on the money!!!

 

 

I loved the place and if I ever worked FIFO offshore, I would make it home as much as I could. The people are good, the food fantastic and the lifestyle is second to nothing from what I seen. BUT...... It is not the US.... The lifestyle make the people, If you take the people out and put them in your environment they become like the people in your environment. It is a different culture to what you are in now and they will likely hate you for it if you move them. I wish I could find the YouTube video about it, it explains everything better.

 

 

Anyway... Go for a visit for a few weeks, and check the place out. Keep an open mind but be smart about your money. Start here:

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