illi Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 hi guys, my boyfriend and i are living different cities. we are seeing each other like 2,5 years. well, i love him so much. like every relationships, we had ups and downs. but i now, he loves me more than i do. i don't know why, but i can feel it. my question is, when my bf go out with his friend or friends, i feel sad. i don't like his close friend bec. he is really unstable person. so when they go out, i feel bad. "why i am not here or what will they do? are they gonna drink, look for other girls?" or, "he will do something and he will never tell me," asking these questions to myself. my bf, says all the time, "trust me, no one can make me bad things" or " i know he did bad thing (about his close friend) but we all did bad things, if we look that side, everyone did bad things. even you. so you should try to look other way, he was there for me when i need it, or he is a simple person, or he has no good friends and he can hurt himself -for his bad times-" also i know that, my bf is so alone at city. i dont wanna make him more alone so how can i over that feeling, i can trust him and he know that if he lies to me i will end this reationship, thank you guys Link to post Share on other sites
Penguin_hugs Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 How often do you visit each other? Have you met these friends that he goes out with? Have they ever given you any reason to be jealous when he goes out with them? What are the long term plans for closing the distance? If both of you are lonely in your cities- could this be a reason for speeding up closing the distance? Link to post Share on other sites
Author illi Posted February 8, 2019 Author Share Posted February 8, 2019 How often do you visit each other? Have you met these friends that he goes out with? Have they ever given you any reason to be jealous when he goes out with them? What are the long term plans for closing the distance? If both of you are lonely in your cities- could this be a reason for speeding up closing the distance? well we are trying to see each other oftenly, in a month or 3 week, actually i met his close friend. he was not a bad guy. but once he suggested to my boyfriend going together a prostitute. or my bf did bad things when we broke up, his friend never told him good advices supported my bf to make bad things. for example that friend make contact on tinder with my bf's ex ****buddy, like hi how are you, even they were nor friends. if that happens again, i wouldnt like to my bf see that close friend again. my bf said "i dont care, i mad at him but i dont wanna be angry this is not important, dont give a .... yes in 25 and i dont have any good friend what can i do?" my bf just doesnt wanna be bad bec of that girl or his stupid friend.. what would you think? what would you do? also, i will try live in the same city but im afraid to live bad things thank you btw<3 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 how can i over that feeling In order not to feel the way you do, you should be with him every weekend, or be less in love with him. When your interest goes down, then even your level of jealousy will. he know that if he lies to me i will end this reationship You know that you might never know, so your resolution to end it with your boyfriend if he fools around with someone else will not have much effect on anyone: neither on you (because in fact you feel insecure) nor on him (he basically told you that he'll continue to see whomever he feels like regardless of your disapproval). The problem with his friend is that he's single. A single guy and a taken guy should have different goals: the former wants to chase/pick up girls, the latter needs some (as much as possible) risk-free fun/entertainment. So for them to go out together at night, and keep being friends, they'll need to take turns as to what they want to do. I don't see how the single friend could adapt otherwise. And that's where things can go wrong. The easiest+wisest thing for them would be going out once or twice a month, so that they can still remain friends and have guy time together. The rest of the time, they need to find other friends. They are not a couple, and shouldn't act like one. Also, if you really move to where he is, the friend might start to resent you, because he'd be going from spending time with your bf all the time to much less. In short they need to start being less lazy and get to know other people to hang out with. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 You either trust him or you don't. I get that the buddy is a bad influence but is your guy that much of a push over that his buddy can sway him? You have to assume that they may go to bars bit that doesn't automatically lead to cheating. You may have to be calmer when your guy talks to you about the buddy. If you over react or react negatively every time he mentions the buddy eventually your guy will stop talking to you about the buddy just to take the path of least resistance. You say that you live in different cities but that doesn't mean much. How far apart are you in time & distance. You probably should be able to master seeing each other more then every 3 weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
johnabi Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 as a bf i don;t recommend Link to post Share on other sites
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