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GF talking to other guys, should I be worried?


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 17th January 2019, 6:38 PM   #1
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Thumbs down GF talking to other guys, should I be worried?

Me & my girlfriend have been together for about 4 months. Its long distance, and we meet up about every month.

When she was taking a shower, I went through her phone. I saw on her instagram messages shes been talking to other guys. One guy in particular has been flirting with her a lot, and I notice she likes his pictures all the time.
She's been responding to a lot of his posts too.

She has no pictures of us on her profile, but I have pictures of us. It kinda hurts because she's suppose to be my GF right? What should I do?

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 20th January 2019 at 2:25 PM.. Reason: Fix spacing and move to LDR
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Old 17th January 2019, 6:43 PM   #2
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say you spend a weekend together every month. That means that you have spent a total of 8 days in physical contact with each other.

Why did you put up pics of you and her together when you both have spend a few weekends in each other's company?
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Old 17th January 2019, 6:43 PM   #3
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The proof is in the phone....she doesn't take your arrangement seriously. She's monkey branching. You can either just walk, ask her how she sees your relationship, confront her with what you know, or ignore it.
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Old 17th January 2019, 7:10 PM   #4
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Yeah so you found out what kind of person she is on social media.
Even if she isnt cheating, is just over friendly with a good friend she clearly hasnt told you much about, doesnt mention that she has a boyfriend when someone flirts with her....

yeah you gotta ask yourself, can you see yourself getting married to someone like that? The doubts are already killing you so i doubt it...well then you know what to do man. Move on and find someone that will appreciate you more and like posting photos as much as you do(a lot of girls out there like that)
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Old 17th January 2019, 7:18 PM   #5
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You snooped. If you found real dirt, I'd tell you to just be done. But here you found a guy flirting with her. You didn't say she was flirting with him. Her liking some photos is not big deal. You need to figure out why you are so distrustful that you felt the need to snoop. Now you have to talk to her about what you think you found & how her failure to post pictures of you two hurts your feelings.
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Old 17th January 2019, 8:08 PM   #6
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You've been together for 4 months and you only see each other monthly.. that's actually concerning to me. Personally I don't think long distance is sustainable, unless we're talking about a couple that's been together for AGES. Obviously that's not the case here. She's might be seeking attention elsewhere when she's not with you..

Anyways, if I were you I would see it as a red flag. I would NOT want my partner flirting with another person even on social media. Yes, liking ALL his posts and whatnot IS considered flirting too. So yeah..
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Old 17th January 2019, 8:13 PM   #7
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I will never look through a phone again.
If I feel the urge to do that I know immediately I’m with the wrong person.
It’s not something I have a habit of doing. So for me to not trust whoever I’m committed to is a red flag for myself.
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Old 17th January 2019, 8:44 PM   #8
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Yeah long distance is hard, and I feel insecure because she's so far away. I don't know what she's doing when I'm not with her. That guy she's been talking to is better looking than me I must admit. She may not be flirting with him directly, but liking his selfies and laughing at his jokes pisses me off.
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Old 17th January 2019, 9:09 PM   #9
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Given the time you have dated and the scarcity of the time you spend together I would not characterize her as your GF.

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Old 17th January 2019, 9:15 PM   #10
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You need to get rid and find someone close by.
This is unsustainable long term as you have not spent the time building bonds to keep you together despite the long distance.
Once you are out of sight she is looking for another guy to keep her amused.
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Old 17th January 2019, 9:57 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordvn View Post
Yeah long distance is hard, and I feel insecure because she's so far away. I don't know what she's doing when I'm not with her. That guy she's been talking to is better looking than me I must admit. She may not be flirting with him directly, but liking his selfies and laughing at his jokes pisses me off.
If you're the kind of person who gets insecure easily, then long distance relationships are not feasible for you. In the future, it could make sense to date locally.

Seeing someone only once a month isn't truly getting to know them.

You seem rather possessive with unrealistic expectations.
If a man tells me a joke and I laugh, that doesn't mean that I am going to cheat on my husband with him. Liking a man's selfies is also completely innocuous.
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Old 17th January 2019, 10:20 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Jordvn View Post
Me & my girlfriend have been together for about 4 months. Its long distance, and we meet up about every month.



When she was taking a shower, I went through her phone. I saw on her instagram messages shes been talking to other guys. One guy in particular has been flirting with her a lot, and I notice she likes his pictures all the time.
She's been responding to a lot of his posts too.



She has no pictures of us on her profile, but I have pictures of us. It kinda hurts because she's suppose to be my GF right? What should I do?
The messages. Are they flirtatious or sexting? If so you should breakup in my opinion. No one in a exclusivie monogamous relationship should put up with that. If not flirting or sexting but it's still doesn't feel okay then you have to decide if you can accept these feelings. If you cannot accept you have to make a decision if this is a boundary for you that if she chose not to respect it your going to have to let her go. If you decide this is an important boundary then you tell her "Babe I have an problem with you messaging other guys". If she doesn't respond favorably let her go. Same for the couples picture or some sort of public recognition that she has a man. If you can accept don't rock the boat. If you can't accept and think she should put up a picture then say "babe it would make me happy if you post a picture of us like I did". If she doesn't respond favorably you got to let her go. You have to decide what you will and will not accept and be prepared to possibly be single and be okay with that.
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Old 17th January 2019, 10:33 PM   #13
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A long distance relationship of 4 months is a foundation built on sand. I'd move on.
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Old 18th January 2019, 6:46 AM   #14
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Should you be worried?? Yes, I suppose.

But, just 4 meetups in 4 months? Not much of relationship really.
She could have three or four guys like you in the stable.
You can see what she's like.
If that's not what you are interested in move on.
No great loss.
If I was you I would just ghost her.
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Old 18th January 2019, 7:22 AM   #15
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That’s what happens when you do long distance. One person eventually gets tired. They just don’t work. 100 percent of the time it’s a crapshoot and if she’s attractive-very attractive? Forget about it she’ll eventually get tired of turning guys down for dates. It’s over. I’ll find someone who lives closer. Take this as a learning experience. It’s gonna make you stronger for the next gal in the next relationship.

Last edited by Interstellar; 18th January 2019 at 7:26 AM..
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