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Not sure if I want a long-distance relationship..


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 15th February 2019, 5:43 PM   #16
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Ending the relationship with this guy might be wonít easy for you. Your memories are in common with him are difficult to erase. Being friends with him is also not an option. What you could do is find yourself a new love. Itís not that easy though too, but it is possible. Long-Distance Relationships are real. I know people who made it happen no matter where they are from and how long theyíve been together with each other. About this guy - you cannot call it as a serious relationship. If he would be serious about you and your future, he wouldíve married you. But he didnít. He is running away. If you do really love him, let him go. If he wants to be with you, he will make a first step. Youíve tried your best. Itís up to you now - move on or live a fantasy.
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Old 24th March 2019, 5:22 AM   #17
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I feel like Iím back to the start again. I have really tried to move forward, but I keep going back. Iím so torn, I really really feel I should forget him and focus on myself. That I donít want to be in relationship right now, that no matter what we do we would never work.... and no matter what I tell myself I still have a strong desire for him. Itís been killing me for the past 5 months. I feel like I have tried everything and nothing works. It has slowly gotten better since the first month but this past week Iím back to crying every day, dreaming of him and thinking of him all the time.... I still havenít talked to him since I told him itís time to move on two months ago. He hasnít said a word to me, I think part of me is really disappointed about that and another part feels like he has forgotten about me and another part thinks there might still be hope.

I have also lately been booking everything for my studies in his city, so now itís really happening. I wish he wasnít there during summer in a way so I can just not think there might be a chance to see him. I donít want to see him and I want to see him! I want him so much...... I donít get what he has done to me to want him this much. I feel he must not feel the same since he didnít say a word to me. I feel it will be so strange that in two months I will suddenly be so close to him and yet the furthest. Iím not sure what to do next.... I donít want to contact him because I feel I have done everything and more, I have said everything too.. I feel like I have more pride than to go back, but my progress is so minimal and Iím sad so often and I need to snap out of this but I donít know how anymore.... or if I even can.
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Old 25th March 2019, 5:32 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by Lenmi View Post
I still haven’t talked to him since I told him it’s time to move on two months ago. He hasn’t said a word to me, I think part of me is really disappointed about that
Well, to be fair, his silence is an indication he respected your decision to end it. I would not have reached out in his position either, simply as a means of self-preservation. If someone told me it was time to move on, I would heed that and cease contact.

It sounds to me that you do want to be in touch with him, but don't want to make the first move. However, given that you are the one who told him to move on, the ball is indeed in your proverbial court. The onus would be on you to take the initiative.

Contacting him now that you are actually going to be in area is risk, though. You might get a positive response, or you might be met with silence, indifference, or the news that he is dating someone else now. Reflect on how you'd handle that sort of thing before deciding whether to reach out.
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Old 26th March 2019, 2:28 AM   #19
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I wrote. I sent him a light text and he responded, then later in the evening we texted for about an hour. I don't know what to think, it felt very neutral. I didn't bring up much emotions... not more than that I felt I had hurt him last time we spoke and he said he is "very fine" and I made the right decision for us.

I don't even know how I feel after this, I don't know if we will talk again either because I don't think he will initiate. I feel mostly worried and anxious that the more time that goes the further away he will be. I don't know what I want to do, how to proceed, if I should tell the truth about my feelings now or just let it be until I'm there in two months?
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Old 26th March 2019, 3:32 AM   #20
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Does he know you'll be there in two months?
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Old 26th March 2019, 3:38 AM   #21
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Does he know you'll be there in two months?
Yes, he knows. I have been planning this since months back so when I first told him he felt bad about it because one of his biggest issues is the distance, so I guess he felt bad that I would be there when we are broken up... maybe that has changed now.
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Old 26th March 2019, 11:29 AM   #22
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I think maybe itís best if I say nothing now and see what happens in two months. If he really wants to see me I think he will say something, because maybe itís easier to not initiate now that Iím far away since nothing can happen, but it might be more difficult to stay away when we are close. Iím thinking mainly because the distance was our biggest issue. I feel I made a first move now when I wrote and he knows itís okay to keep in touch. I just need to endure these two months because I think whatever happens or doesnít happen during summer I will be okay and happy. Maybe I meet someone else since I will be around many new people or I will be with him and get to actually date eachother and see what can happen.

Right now though I think I need to continue trying to move on.. so I accepted to go out this weekend with someone I recently met. Maybe it will be good for me, I hope.
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Old 27th March 2019, 5:24 AM   #23
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The thing is, OP, that you were the one to last call it off. For that reason, I think any invitation to meet up again will need to come from you.

You're right that he now knows the door is open to communicate, but I believe he will be unsure why you opened that door. It will be on you to clarify what your intentions are in getting back in touch and let him know you'd like to see him again.
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