If your partner went through a mood change like this, what would you do?

[BeRespectful]

Over time they stopped being as affectionate to you. You lost sexual stuff, lovey dovey stuff, sleeping together in calls, etc.

 

Eventually they tell you that their mood changed and they're struggling with seeing the point in relationships. They say it's not your fault and that they do love you, but relationships just cause them stress. They want to make the relationship more like a friendship.

 

The mood goes on and off, but eventually the only thing that separates you two from being just friends her the occasional "I love you".

 

How do you manage, do you manage, what do you do?

 

(You're both young and poor so traveling/visiting is really limitted)

Edited January 9, 2019 by BeRespectful

[BaileyB]

I would make the relationship more of a friendship, but only if your feelings are not so strong that you can't stay in contact without feeling badly.

 

And, I would start dating other people.

 

I don't know about you, but I want to be a relationship with a man who not only says he loves me, but also shows me that he loves me. I need to feel the love and affection.

 

Are you long distance OP? I only ask because it may be hard for your partner to continue to show affection if they are not seeing you regularly. It's hard to build and hard to maintain intimacy over time with someone when you are not together. Perhaps, they have decided that the relationship is more work than it's worth? Perhaps, they have decided that they want to date someone who is local... Something that you may want to consider doing too. I'm sorry.

Edited January 9, 2019 by BaileyB

[BeRespectful]

I would make the relationship more of a friendship, but only if your feelings are not so strong that you can't stay in contact without feeling badly.

 

And, I would start dating other people.

 

I don't know about you, but I want to be a relationship with a man who not only says he loves me, but also shows me that he loves me. I need to feel the love and affection.

 

Are you long distance OP? I only ask because it may be hard for your partner to continue to show affection if they are not seeing you regularly. It's hard to build and hard to maintain intimacy over time with someone when you are not together. Perhaps, they have decided that the relationship is more work than it's worth? Perhaps, they have decided that they want to date someone who is local... Something that you may want to consider doing too. I'm sorry.

 

Thank you for your kind words. Well, it was long distance while it lasted, after a while we broke up. I wanted to know what others would have done in this situation.

 

It was mostly online, I traveled to the other side of the world to see her once and it was an incredible 2 weeks for both of us, we loved every moment of it. It was really expensive and difficult to pull off though, and I didn't know when I'd be able to do it again.

 

As time went on, she said she didn't see the point in relationships in general and wanted to make ours more like a friendship, she said it was an internal dilemma and she was struggling with depression. She had no interest in other men or dating locally. Visiting her again to try and reignite the lovey dovey stuff didn't seem feasible (we were both struggling with with money) and it didn't seem like she wanted that right now.

[d0nnivain]

I'd just let go. She changed & was no longer the same person. You can't force a relationship especially one where you can't see each other.

[chillii]

Simply falling out of love, the fading shows through everything you've said .

Maybe you guys could try to accept it.

l really don't believe there's any way of fighting that stuff if it's that faded, maybe you could make better friends than partners now.

Edited January 10, 2019 by chillii

[alphamale]

I would dump her and fall back and re-group. When i'm ready I would find a replacement

[ExpatInItaly]

I would recognize that this relationship just isn't viable and start dating other people.

 

Remain in friendly contact once in a while if you wish, but not until your feelings for her are largely gone.

[BeRespectful]

I would dump her and fall back and re-group. When i'm ready I would find a replacement

How do you mean by fall back and regroup? Do you mean break up, no contact, then check in after some time? Thanks Edited January 14, 2019 by BeRespectful

[alphamale]

How do you mean by fall back and regroup? Do you mean break up, no contact, then check in after some time? Thanks

 

tell her you need time to think about stuff (a month or two) and that you will contact her when you feel ok.

[I'veseenbetterlol]

I experienced this kind of relationship and now I suggest to other people to just leave. That situation is an emotional drain and the person doesn't deserve your love.

[Mrs._December]

Unless you plan on moving to her side of the world in the next year or she's moving to your part of the world in the next 12 months, what on earth is the POINT of dragging this on month after month, year after year?

 

I mean that sincerely.

 

What is the POINT?

 

So you can tell everyone you're dating a computer monitor/cell phone/Skype screen?

[I'veseenbetterlol]

I would find someone local. What that mood is saying is that they don't want a relationship w/you, but they do not want to make it seem like they are dumping you. If your partner is already saying that, your relationship is already doomed. Nothing you can do or say (believe me I tried once).

[basil67]

I'd tell them I already have enough friends and end contact with them.

[preraph]

They're just simply isn't any future in most long-distance relationships. Look at it this way, no one is going to be willing to uproot their life without some guarantee that it's going to work out and if you can't do frequent traveling for at least a couple of years to find that out then there's just no way to make a relationship work. I can tell you from personal experience that the constant back-and-forth can get very exhausting. and the truth is if you saw each other after you'd already told each other everything there wouldn't be anything left to talk about it and it would just be awkward. + sexual tension is often reliant on retaining a little mystery and people who get to know each other too well and tell all their secrets online it's very easy to just end up friends with no mystery and no spark.

 

Just start dating local people and remember there's no reason to get involved in long-distance internet relationships.

[manfrombelow2]

Long Distance Relationship is a losing game for most cases.

 

But I suggest OP should buy and read the book How To Be A 3% Man by Corey Wayne on Amazon. It helped me improve my life, not only in dating, tremendously.

[justwhoiam]

How do you manage

My coping skills would vary from "great" to "f-ed up", depending how much he means to me. The more attached, the more down in the dumps I'd be.

 

do you manage

Yes, of course. In the end, we all do. Unless we have some psychiatric issue.

 

what do you do?

Again, this depends on how attached to him I am and how much he means to me. But if there's no way of meeting, then what's the point? Being poor wouldn't be an obstacle by itself, as one of you could move and start working/make money to sustain oneself and the relationship. But you said you're both young, so I assume still studying. So I guess it's also bad timing for you both.