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Long distance assistance needed


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xNUCLEARxBACONx

Hello everyone I am new to thos site and could use some help. So my gf (17f) and I (17m) dated for 2 months, Long distance by 3 hours. We really love each other and we both admitted it and said it to eachother all the time. She became really, really busy and she said she had too much on her plate for a relationship right now, and that she hasn't given herself enough attention. She broke up with me about 1 month ago. She said we shouldn't be together at least for right now. Key words- at least for right now. What does that mean, does it mean she will come back after everything settled down. I texted her once in awhile after the break up, but after watching some breakup videos, I shouldve started no contact the day of. I dont wanna lose her, I'm just afraid she wont come back or during our time away from eachother, some dude will get her and she will start to fall for him. I spent $200+ on her birthday 3 weeks ago (bond touch bracelet, custom bandana, and diamond necklace, She absolutely loved my gifts.) and bought her flowers everytime I saw her. She means everything to me and I just want her back. On the night she broke up with me. I told her I would be waiting for her. How long could this be? Weeks? Months? Years?.... Any advice/help would help please. Thanks. I've been in no contact for about 3 weeks and its killing me. I just want her back so badly, but this is what I have to do in order to get back with her. I've been working on my issues while we are not together. Ive been exercising, went on a diet and lost 30lbs in about 3 weeks. It seems to be going well, but everyday I constantly think of her. We had a bond like no other couple and ske knew it too. No she did not ditch me after receiving the gifts. I'm guessing if she does come back itll be either in December or January. Any help would be much appreciated, thanks.

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I'm sorry that you are not going to like this answer, but she most likely isn't coming back. When a girl breaks up with you, you can usually ignore comments like "for now" or "maybe things will be different in the future". People don't break up with their partners if they are serious about them just because they are busy.

 

What you need to do now is what almost everyone on this forum will no doubt advise you to do, and what you are already aware of and partly already doing. Go full no contact. Concentrate on yourself. You are *very* young in terms of all the dating you have ahead of you, and it is completely normal for a relationship at this age to not last. You will have many more girlfriends, you will fall in love again, and you will look back on this and it will seem like nothing. I can promise you that this will be the case, no matter how hard it seems to believe right now, and how much you think she is the only girl in the world you want etc.

 

It is also important to let go of this idea that she might be coming back in December or January, or ever. By clinging on to that hope you are going to prevent yourself from moving on properly, and it will take much longer than it needs to.

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Oh honey.

 

First, never ever ever spend that kind of cash on a new relationship. It's waaaayyyy too much. A bracelet & a diamond necklace on a 17 year old girl you knew for less than 2 months. What were you thinking? Money can't buy you love. What were her parents thinking letting her keep that? It's too extravagant. You should have bought her a nice card & some flowers. If for no other reasons if you spend $200 on the 1st birthday how do you top that for Christmas, or next year? Slow down. You learned an expensive lesson. Never do it again.

 

 

Sadly you were the fun summer fling. Now that school is back in session she doesn't have time. All you can do is accept that.

 

Do not wait for her. Her statements about not having time "right now" were teenage girl speak to soften the blow of the break up. She thinks she's being kind by giving you hope. It's false hope. She will be busy with school, the applying to uni, then graduation, then going to college. You will be a sweet but distant memory. Sorry.

 

 

You need to throw yourself into your own studies & college application process.

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I'veseenbetterlol

Anytime a person uses vague phrases (maybe one day, I'm not ready, etc), they are wanting to break up w/you w/out all the drama. See you aren't focused on the fact that the relationship is over, you are overanalyzing things and holding yourself back just in case she comes back. She will be able to escape w/out you questioning her because you have hope. She isn't going to come back and I would just forget about her. That wasn't a bond, it was infatuation and a fantasy. Btw I have been in a LDR and almost had another, both ended the same way yours did. I was completely blind back then and accepted some half crafted crap relationship just because I cared for those guys. Its not worth it and you can spend tons of time analyzing and hoping, but you are taking away from your own life.

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