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Long distance relationship


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Been in a long distance relationship with this guy for 2 years and a half now. He did say it's unfair that his keeping me when he can't promise when he can come and actually see me. I understood that his just a simple person and I like him a lot. What I need to understand is, yes I am very special and important to him. Then he says lets see how all these goes? And he says things would have been different only if we were in the same city and same country as he would want us to live together only if things weren't so complicated.

 

We do talk every day and he calls me a lot. But things are still fuzzy then he tells me he hates being pressured. I need help decipher my situation. His a foreigner that's why I'm having hard time understanding his behavior. Thank you

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Have you ever met? Is there any kind of plan to close the distance? If not this is just a big fantasy waste of time.

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@d0nnivain

 

he says he wants to come soon!!! but no dates yet, just soon!!!

 

@Veronica73

 

we do video calls each day... but personally no i haven't met him yet.

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After 2 years, "soon" for a first meet is insane. This guy is stringing you along with a bunch of empty promises.

 

What is stopping you from going to him, just to force the 1st meet? Pick a date, buy a plane ticket, reserve a hotel & a rental car . . . viola, problem addressed. It's still not solved because you are never going to have a conventional relationship where you actually see each other.

 

 

Go find a local BF you can see, touch, hug & kiss. You will be much happier.

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@d0nnivain

 

thank you, you helped a lot! visa by the way is hard to get here where I'm at... so it would be a lot easier if he comes first...

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ExpatInItaly
I did ask him how he wants us to end and he said " together obviously " ....

 

If you haven't been able to meet once in two years, it's likely never going to happen.

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I'veseenbetterlol
If you haven't been able to meet once in two years, it's likely never going to happen.

 

I concur. If you have to push much and its been 2 years, he doesn't care about you. You will be waiting forever. I know you do not want to hear this, but take advice from someone who did a LDR (met online), so much better to date close distance and there are a lot of guys out there. The guy didn't give you craps about me and if I hadn't gone down to visit him, he never would have.

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Personally, I wouldn’t waste anymore of your time. But I don’t get long distance relationships in general. I can see it if you were already dating in person, and then had to be long distance temporarily because of life circumstances. But I don’t believe you can really know someone if you don’t spend time with them in person. I don’t see how if you guys really wanted to be together, you wouldn’t have already met several times by now.

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@I'veseenbetterlol @Veronica73 @ExpatInItaly @d0nnivain

 

Truth really does hurt does it!!! But yeah I've prepared myself to hear the most honest rebuttal...

 

Thank you all I really appreciate your inputs!!!

Edited by Pamelita
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You can keep talking to him if you like but date somebody local. You will be MUCH happier.

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I've had a few long distance relationships. If you haven't even met, it's not a relationship, IMO - it's a delusional fantasy.

 

If you have met and spent time together, and want to be together, IMO that must happen in no more than 12-18 months, or again, it's a delusional fantasy.

 

The problem with such fantasies, is that they prevent you from seeking a real, substantive relationship while you're wasting your time. Besides, once you meet, you may not even be attracted to each other! I've met women with whom I've chatted and video-chatted extensively, only to find that in person, there is NO chemistry.

 

IMO, move on. It's long past time.

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