Nataliel66 Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 Hello everyone, I am a 22 yr old seeking advice. My 23-year-old LDR wants me back. We have been on and off for five years, have never met. One year ago I was in his country but unfortunately he chose not to meet me because he was in a relationship at the time. Now a year has passed and he wants to meet and finally be able to see if we would work as a couple. When I was in his country I was excited and had a lot of love for him, but now things are different and I don’t know how to feel, don’t know if it’s too late.I want it to work and he said he would do his best to win me back but there’s only so much he can do over camera? What to do/advice? Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 Nope he blew it! 5 years is a long time just to find out he was in a relationship already. You can't trust him ever. He's playing you and you spend the time in his country and just to learn that in the same he was doing emotional cheating on you. Well that's what just not seeing person and just texting and talking on cell. I would look elsewhere if I was you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nataliel66 Posted May 20, 2018 Author Share Posted May 20, 2018 Thank you for responding. I always knew he was in a relationship he never lied to me. He actually cut off contact with me when he started being with her. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 A 5-yr relationship where you've never met? This isn't a relationship and it's so far from being healthy that you'd do yourself a huge favor to run very, very far away and very, very fast. You're young and shouldn't be wasting your time on this nonsense. Get back to the real world. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 You already wasted 5 years on this guy why waste more? When you were in his country he was dating somebody else. You are not a priority to him & probably will never be one. The immigration issues makes this untenable on so many more levels. Date local guys who you can actually spend time with in person. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 Thank you for responding. I always knew he was in a relationship he never lied to me. He actually cut off contact with me when he started being with her. What! You did yet put up with that? Oh my! You need to look else where you can keep him as a friend, but find someone who won't treat you like this. Your life is yours, your time is yours. Don't waste any more on anyone who's not local to your area. Enjoy life and find a man who will love and respect you for who you are inside and out! Good Luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 Are you serious???? If you've never met, you're not in a relationship... and no, please don't "get back" with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nataliel66 Posted May 20, 2018 Author Share Posted May 20, 2018 Thank you all for responding. We were on the back burner of each other’s lives for that time. We both got into in-person relationships/ didn’t take our connection too seriously. now we’re both in a position to possibly take this to another level. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 . now we’re both in a position to possibly take this to another level. No you are not. The distance & immigration issues still exist. Unless one of you currently has concrete plans to relocate to the other's country soon don't bother with this fairy tale that can never come true. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 Five years and you have never met this guy? Darling, this isn’t a LDR, you are pen pals. You don’t know this guy... The distance and immigration issues still exist... this is a fairytale relationship. I would suggest that you find someone local to date and focus your energy on a real relationship that will bring you real happiness. Let this guy go... Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 There is no way I would be willing to entertain this idea. You couldn't manage a meet-up once in 5 years. A relationship is going to be just about impossible, in addition to the fact that you have no clue how you would even get along in person. Talking about being serious with a guy you've never met is counting way too many chickens before they hatch. Just not wise. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 Hi Natalie, My 23-year-old LDR wants me back. I'm not sure what you mean by "back". Does he mean going back to LD romantic chats? Or does he mean starting a real relationship where you two meet each other in person more or less regularly? We have been on and off for five years How intimate? One year ago I was in his country How far are you from each other? I don’t know how to feel, don’t know if it’s too late.I want it to work and he said he would do his best to win me back but there’s only so much he can do over camera?It's clear to me that right now you're not in love with him. So I would avoid going back to romantic with him, and I would avoid any kind of intimacy (virtual or otherwise), until when he comes visit you in person. If he does, make sure you go with a friend and meet in some public place, to be safe. If attraction is there, all feelings will come back naturally. If you feel just "meh", you can ask him to join you and your friend for a walk and a coffee or something. And then you part ways. If you decide to give it a go, try not to have any expectations. Link to post Share on other sites
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