Jump to content

When they ask for committment


Recommended Posts

I have two long-distance guys wanting commitment from me, I do like one over the other. But how do long-distance commitments work? Don't you facetime or meet or something first? We have done none of that and I question if they're a scammer for real. One is military, the other is a engineer working overseas and needs a new phone because his video camera is supposedly not working.

 

I've told them both I need some kind facetime to prove their legit I'm too old for scammers. Shouldn't be that hard I wouldn't think. Any thoughts or suggestions?

Link to post
Share on other sites
RecentChange

Do not commit to anyone that you haven't dated in person for a bit.

 

You can't really get to know someone on line only.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Oh good that's what I'm trying to do, but they're pressing me. I actually have a date this weekend with a local guy. But that's not really going to go anywhere.

Link to post
Share on other sites
RecentChange

What do they want? Exclusivity? What does commitment to someone you have never met mean?

 

My advice? Don't waste time with people who are too far away, or can't go on a date within let's say two weeks.

 

Otherwise it's way too much investment into something that usually is more fantasy and very little reality.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
hippychick3

You only commit to men whom you have actually dated consistently and regularly IN PERSON for a considerable length of time. Anyone you meet online is a complete stranger. Why would you commit to a stranger?

 

You're a grown adult. Tell them no.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
Oh good that's what I'm trying to do, but they're pressing me. I actually have a date this weekend with a local guy. But that's not really going to go anywhere.

 

If they are pressing you, just say no.

 

Why are you seeing the local guy this weekend if it's not going to go anywhere? Does HE also know it's not going to go anywhere? Please tell me you're not using him as a distraction from your heartbreak - it would reflect very poorly on you.

Edited by basil67
  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly

It would be crazy to commit to these mystery men.

 

Tell them no and stop communicating with them. It's a serious red flag that they are asking for commitment without ever having laid eyes on you.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic
I have two long-distance guys wanting commitment from me, I do like one over the other. But how do long-distance commitments work? Don't you facetime or meet or something first? We have done none of that and I question if they're a scammer for real. One is military, the other is a engineer working overseas and needs a new phone because his video camera is supposedly not working.

 

I've told them both I need some kind facetime to prove their legit I'm too old for scammers. Shouldn't be that hard I wouldn't think. Any thoughts or suggestions?

 

Both fake. It won't be long until they ask you for money. Especially the "military" guy. But, probably both.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Two? That's quite something, especially considering that you just broke up with your last boyfriend just a few weeks ago.

 

I would never commit anything to a man who I have not dated in person for a very long time...

 

Again... what is wrong with being single? Why this incessant need to have a man in your life? It's not healthy.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

It's not a need to have a man in my life. I'm just trying to get out there and meet people. I shut down my dating profile. My ex texted me last night his relationship didn't work and now he wants me back, I told him I needed time. I'm trying to sort through all these guys I met on-line. I have a real date I tried to cancel but it just got postponed. I'm not a real forceful person.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's seems like you need to have a man in your life. Most women would never entertain a request to have a "commitment" with a man who they have never met and is long distance. Be very careful.

 

If you don't stand up for yourself, to tell your ex it's not going to happen or to cancel a date that you don't want to go on, who will?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

You cant commit to anything because you arent in a relationship. Thats like going to a gas station to buy gas, but you dont have a car.

 

Stop living in la la land.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

Commitment before you meet in person is ridiculous. You can't commit to anybody at this stage. You are rebounding & still talking to your EX.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Absolutely not. Listen there are guys all over who would have you waiting faithfully while they date around. And they ARE dating around. I've yet to meet the guy who can be long distance and in the real world (as opposed to military, where ethics are encouraged) who aren't looking and doing. They can't concentrate on you if they can't put their hands on you and see you. It helps doing Facetime or whatever, but if they can't do anything about it, even that is just going to make them more aroused and go out looking for someone.

 

Plus when you haven't met in the flesh, you only know about 40 percent of the person. You have to accept that you do not know them. You are both acting out kind of a romantic fantasy and most times that will break down in person,

Link to post
Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle

Hate to break it to you but they are both fake profiles. Classic modus operandi.

 

If they haven't asked you for money yet, it's because they're grooming you and it all starts with committing to them first. Then they feel like they have their hooks in you.

 

It's only a matter of time one of them will ask you for money. The 'good' scammers have learned that asking for big $$ sets off too many alarms bells too soon. They'll start small followed by a promise they'll pay you back as soon as...

 

Run.

 

I've done LD a few times now but NEVER committed to anyone I didn't video chat on a regularly basis with before meeting up in person.

 

 

Have you dropped their pics into reverse image search yet? If not, do it.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

They passed the pic test but they are romantic scammers asking for money after proving themselves to be who they say. One hasn't come through with proof yet but he's much quieter since the request. Two of them i met on the dating site.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...