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Not attracting locals


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 5th March 2018, 12:06 PM   #1
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Not attracting locals

I keep attracting long-distance people only worse long distance than the last. I'm lucky if their in this country. People in my state just don't like me, and it sucks. I'm debating about going back on the farmer website but I'm not really a farmer type.
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Old 5th March 2018, 12:10 PM   #2
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If you are back on the market does that mean you are off again with your EX that wants you to be a sex slave who your mom doesn't like?

If you are single again, take some time to heal. You need to sort yourself out before you dive into the next relationship. Part of the reason you can't find somebody is that you are an emotional mess right now. Can you at least wait until Memorial Day to start looking again? Do some soul searching & figure out what you want. Until you are at peace with yourself you won't find a good match.
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Old 5th March 2018, 12:15 PM   #3
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He broke up with me, it's helping me not think of him so much. Right now I'm playing the field haven't found anyone I really want to settle on yet. Than I think of him and how much I miss him, I really loved his body, he was like an ox so strong, just sexy. I'm doing on-line dating to move on from him. So I quit going back to him. Not that I really want to date right now, I just want to clear him out of my mind.
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Old 5th March 2018, 12:42 PM   #4
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So... you're complaining that nobody is signing up to be your rebound to "get your mind off" your abusive ex whom you couldn't even break up with of your own accord?

Come on, girl. At least give it a few weeks.
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Old 5th March 2018, 2:20 PM   #5
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It technically has been a few weeks, we originally broke up the day before Valentine's. I texted him the day after, we reconnected for a few days broke up back on back off the saga continues. We love each other but it's not clicking. Plus he hates my mom and that's just bad, only I"m allowed to hate her and that only lasts a little while.
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Old 5th March 2018, 2:25 PM   #6
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Kristine

While there is some truth to the idea that you get over somebody by getting under somebody else, that isn't the best idea in your situation. You need to develop a better sense of who you are & what you want. Without that you will simply be trading this bad relationship for another bad relationship.

As for attracting locals, first you have to get off the computer. Then you have to get involved in local activities where you can meet people. I think volunteering somewhere & being of service to others may help you more then banging some other guy will.
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Old 5th March 2018, 5:00 PM   #7
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Sweetie, I realise you need some self soothing, but it's really unfair to use other men in order to heal your heart. How would you feel if you found out a guy you were dating was using you to make him forget his thoughts about someone else?

It will be time to start dating again when you think of him with indifference. In the meantime, it's OK to navel gaze and be sad. It's all part of of the healing process.
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Old 16th March 2018, 1:13 AM   #8
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If you live in a small town, your options are limited. I get that. But LDRs are pure fantasy that will leave you with nothing but a broken heart. Trust me that LDRs are not worth it.

I once dated a "country" gal I met on match.com who lived in a rural area about an hour outside the city I was living in. She was beautiful and had a wonderful personality so I didn't mind a 2 hour round trip to spend time with her. Sadly, of all crazy things, she died in a fire, but the point is that we legitimately met and even had a good relationship despite how far away from me she lived. I would relive that over a LDR any time, despite the tragic end. LDRs are fake, fiction, fantasy. Please don't waste your time on one.
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Old 16th March 2018, 1:58 AM   #9
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What's wrong with being single for a while...
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Old 16th March 2018, 2:59 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BaileyB View Post
What's wrong with being single for a while...
Nothing. In many cases it's beneficial.

But this is not an appropriate site to recommend something like that. Everybody here is fixated on a quick fix - from the altruistic narcissist who thinks that going NC is a form of healing to the idealist who thinks a LDR is real. Both vacate humanity and one has even lead to suicide.

But hey this is a blind NC site that likes killing people so definitely maintain NC, ladies!

I'd look for a better site, but in this day and age the hateful, spiteful, narcissistic abuse of "NC" is the standard recommendation.

You kids have so much to learn.

Last edited by Romantic_Antics; 16th March 2018 at 3:01 AM..
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