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He said he "has to think" about us


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 25th February 2018, 5:30 PM   #1
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Question He said he "has to think" about us

We are dating almost 1,5 year. It's LDR. I've got fed up by listening his promises about coming to visit me without doing so, so I told him what I need + I asked him what he needs/wants in relationship, because he never talked about it, and said that if I'm not considered to be a part of his life, I want to know it.

He answered (after 3 days!!) that it's a lot of questions and he has to think about it.

I said - If you have to think whether I'm a part of your life, then there are no other questions, because I want someone who is sure about this.

That's it. Do you think it's too harsh?
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Old 25th February 2018, 5:43 PM   #2
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Nope. It's not going anywhere. I mean, it CAN'T go anywhere unless you two live in the same city and date for as long as that lasts.
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Old 25th February 2018, 5:52 PM   #3
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Nope. It's not going anywhere. I mean, it CAN'T go anywhere unless you two live in the same city and date for as long as that lasts.
I think the same. But if he said something like: would you like to live in the city? or something like that. He didn't. He even wasn't able to answer if I'm a part of his life.
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Old 25th February 2018, 5:56 PM   #4
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He's done.....this has run it's course.
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Old 25th February 2018, 5:58 PM   #5
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He's done.....this has run it's course.
I'm sorry, I'm not native English speaker, what does "he's done" exactly mean?
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Old 25th February 2018, 6:06 PM   #6
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I'm sorry, I'm not native English speaker, what does "he's done" exactly mean?
He wants to end it. Done means finished. Finished with the relationship.

Last edited by smackie9; 25th February 2018 at 6:08 PM..
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Old 25th February 2018, 6:13 PM   #7
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I know this is difficult because you have invested so much. It's heartbreaking when someone that was so into you could just start fading, but it happens. You need physical contact to develop a connection and a bond. What you had in the beginning was infatuation fueled by imagination which is not long lived. That's why these things frizzle out.
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Old 25th February 2018, 6:18 PM   #8
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I know this is difficult because you have invested so much. It's heartbreaking when someone that was so into you could just start fading, but it happens. You need physical contact to develop a connection and a bond. What you had in the beginning was infatuation fueled by imagination which is not long lived. That's why these things frizzle out.
Yes, it is very difficult. I still love him but I cannot continue with this. He never asked me to stay longer, he talked about the possibility me moving to his city (only once when he was drunk he said "I want to live next to you in your country", but I cannot take this seriously).

There must be two in a relationship, not only one. I have to move on...
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Old 25th February 2018, 6:27 PM   #9
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There are better relationships to have. I recommend you meet someone locally. At least then you can have the closeness/intimacy which builds a beautiful relationship. You just need to go out more and meet people. I find LDR's can isolate you, and make you dependent on that person, which isn't healthy. You will find happiness again soon. Best of luck.
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Old 25th February 2018, 6:29 PM   #10
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There are better relationships to have. I recommend you meet someone locally. At least then you can have the closeness/intimacy which builds a beautiful relationship. You just need to go out more and meet people. I find LDR's can isolate you, and make you dependent on that person, which isn't healthy. You will find happiness again soon. Best of luck.
Thank you!
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Old 25th February 2018, 6:45 PM   #11
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Thank you!
You will be alright. Takes time to shake off those sad feelings, but they do go away. You will feel bright and confident in no time.
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Old 25th March 2018, 2:46 AM   #12
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We are dating almost 1,5 year. It's LDR. I've got fed up by listening his promises about coming to visit me without doing so, so I told him what I need + I asked him what he needs/wants in relationship, because he never talked about it, and said that if I'm not considered to be a part of his life, I want to know it.

He answered (after 3 days!!) that it's a lot of questions and he has to think about it.

I said - If you have to think whether I'm a part of your life, then there are no other questions, because I want someone who is sure about this.

That's it. Do you think it's too harsh?
This is complete BS and way of rejecting you w/out straight out rejecting you. If I love someone, I don't have to think about being w/them and if I have doubts, I'm gonna say anything to them, I'll take my time to think about the situation. He knows what he wants and sadly it isn't you. Whenever a guy had to "think" about me or the relationship, he always ended up leaving.
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Old 25th March 2018, 3:01 AM   #13
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I would've never stuck around for a year and a half without having met the person. My LDR wanted to put off meeting for a whole year and I considered it a gigantic red flag. If somebody loves you and is legitimately into you they should be jumping at any opportunity to meet/visit.

I'll never do another LDR again. That was my one and only and it was one too many. It was a waste of time and she raised more flags than a theme park.
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Old 25th March 2018, 7:30 AM   #14
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Since the thread starter hasn't logged in in almost a month we'll close this up unless they come back, then alert on our post and we will reopen it, thanks
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