LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Long-Distance Relationships

FWB/love interest in town, no contact.


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

Like Tree1Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 28th December 2017, 9:28 PM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Boston
Posts: 4
FWB/love interest in town, no contact.

FWB/romantic is home for the holidays. We've been in touch pretty frequently for over year since she moved (we text and facetime a lot, offer each other support when going through rough patches with life, etc, yet still date other people, though we're both currently single at this moment), we'd probably be dating if it weren't for the distance between us.

The night before she left, she called to let me know her travel plans, which I took as a sign that she was intending/wanting to see me. She let me know she arrived at the parents, which is a bit out of town, but since then hasn't replied to my last text from maybe 5 days ago. I really want to get together with her before she leaves (she's ridiculously gorgeous and really fun to be with), as well I genuinely want to catch up with her.

A part of me is a little annoyed that we've remained in touch really frequently over time, and I would think it would be rude to not even text or visit with someone when we happen to be in such close proximity and intimately. To me, if she takes off without giving me a 'dear john' text/call, i'd have to end our relationship/friendship there. I understand she probably been doing the family thing, but to go to radio silence for this amount of time seems rude.

But of course I don't want that, so i'm currently trying to play my cards right. What should I do? She's out in about a week. Should I break no contact? Should I call or text and ask if shes planning on seeing me at all? Should I send another 'nudge' text?
duncebutsmart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st January 2018, 12:20 AM   #2
Established Member
 
bummer's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 769
dont be a dunce

Text her, "Hey, we should go to bar/coffee place x by your house and catch up. Are you free this week at all?"

Seems harmless enough.
bummer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th January 2018, 8:15 AM   #3
Established Member
 
justwhoiam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 3,701
Quote:
Originally Posted by duncebutsmart View Post
we'd probably be dating if it weren't for the distance between us.
Maybe I'm wrong, but FWB implies using each other with no intent of ever being together, while your words above convey something else.

Quote:
Originally Posted by duncebutsmart View Post
The night before she left, she called to let me know her travel plans, which I took as a sign that she was intending/wanting to see me.
It was just fair to let you know she was in town, as you are friends, right? Also, you might have bumped into her, and it would have been awkward... But when she told you, you didn't say anything, so she went on with her plans.

Quote:
Originally Posted by duncebutsmart View Post
She let me know she arrived at the parents, which is a bit out of town, but since then hasn't replied to my last text from maybe 5 days ago.
What did the text say?

Quote:
Originally Posted by duncebutsmart View Post
I really want to get together with her before she leaves
Maybe she doesn't feel the same. Maybe she's avoiding sex with you, and knows you might want that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by duncebutsmart View Post
I would think it would be rude to not even text or visit with someone when we happen to be in such close proximity and intimately.
You need to come to terms with the fact that there's no commitment about anything from both sides. I don't know how you happened to be in that arrangement, if you sort of asked for it, or it just happened or what. She ows you nothing. You're not her boyfriend. In a FWB arrangement is not just sex being casual, but often also the friendship itself. In my view, real friendship doesn't mix up with occasional sex. So you lost that already.

Quote:
Originally Posted by duncebutsmart View Post
To me, if she takes off without giving me a 'dear john' text/call, i'd have to end our relationship/friendship there.
She will likely text you before leaving. But does that change anything? She just let you know about her whereabouts, and that's it. No real looking forward to see you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by duncebutsmart View Post
radio silence for this amount of time seems rude.
Not rude, maybe a bit inconsiderate. But she probably has no idea you're so needy. A FWB deal is all about the sudden crave that you can feel... if one or the other doesn't have it, nothing happens.

Quote:
Originally Posted by duncebutsmart View Post
i'm currently trying to play my cards right.
How, if you don't mind me asking? You played your cards entering the FWB deal, you're the guy on the side.

Quote:
Originally Posted by duncebutsmart View Post
What should I do?
What's the goal? Just hook up with her when she's in town? It might be that you've missed that chance either temporarily, long-term or forever.

Quote:
Originally Posted by duncebutsmart View Post
She's out in about a week. Should I break no contact? Should I call or text and ask if shes planning on seeing me at all? Should I send another 'nudge' text?
So how did it go in the end?
justwhoiam is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Long-term love interest is finally single- should I make contact? (Read first) Miss J89 Dating 8 18th September 2015 11:43 AM
Should I contact him when I visit his town? bolase Second Chances 2 14th November 2014 8:44 AM
should i leave my town my work my friends to be the one i love? lovebebe Long-Distance Relationships 9 2nd April 2013 9:55 PM
How much contact when she's outa town? SJC2008 Dating 1 8th June 2012 1:42 AM
Staying no contact is hard in a small town Paralyzed Breaks and Breaking Up 3 25th November 2009 11:32 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 7:57 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.