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Should I even bother saying anything at this point

Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 4th November 2017, 12:24 AM   #1
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Should I even bother saying anything at this point

Hey all- So the background story if you will: Met a guy 10 years ago, spent a few weeks hanging out everyday for a class. He was with someone, I was with someone. We hugged, said goodbye, he bent down to kiss me, I stepped back and said take care. Yeah, 10 years ago.... He went home to NY, I went home to MN.
We went the first 2-3 years with simple flirty texts back and forth. I broke up with someone, started dating someone new. He did the same. And then the same thing again....
Anyways- the past few years the flirting via text has gotten pretty heavy including several phone calls that he more often than not initiates. He complains that I don't send him enough pictures of me laughing and smiling, clean and appropriate ones. We never actually send dirty pics. Not our thing. At this point, it's almost like talking to a good friend every week that should have benefits but doesn't due to distance. Unfortunately, I don't see anything with the distances changing for probably 2-3 more years (mine will progress to travel and relocate in 2-3 years) as we are both in our dream jobs.
I know I have strong feelings for him and after 10 years of knowing him, I'm fairly sure that if he asked me today I would up and leave my job tomorrow for him. But he hasn't and wouldn't because he knows it's my dream job and I would never ask him to leave his for me. I constantly think about him, even dream sometimes. But at this point, with how long we've known each other, knowing we can't be with each other now, and having these feelings, should I even bother letting him know how I feel? Should I fly out there for a weekend to tell him? Thanks for any advice.
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Old 4th November 2017, 8:47 AM   #2
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Sounds romantic, right? Not.

There is absolutely NO commitment on his part. It clearly sounds like you have become enamoured with a fantasy. It also sounds like YOU are the one who is willing to make all the sacrifices for someone you have been TEXTING for 10-years. Texting....not meeting. I don't understand how you can have romantic feelings for someone you don't really know.

Think about this and think very long and hard... anyone can be whatever they want to be when their entire persona is via texts.

10 years ago he tried to kiss you when you two were dating someone else. Ha. He was and likely is a cheater/player. He has been 'flirting' with you while dating others. You too....this all sounds dysfunctional.
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Old 8th December 2017, 7:47 AM   #3
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It sounds like movie material... so, pretty fake.

If he wanted to have a chance with you, he had plenty of chances to show you some real interest. You both were out of relationships, so he could have tried his move. He did not, and most likely for a reason (or more than one).

It's just friendship. As such, slow down with texting, get out more, enjoy the company of other people in the flesh.
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