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She Isn't Ready (LDR)

Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 30th October 2017, 7:17 AM   #16
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 12
To everyone who has commented thus far: thank you for the support and advice.

I agree with all of you who are advising me to stop talking to her. At this point I could move on fairly quickly and could see myself being happy talking to someone else (locally) within a few months, but this girl is something special and i'd be a fool not to pursue this, despite the odds and the distance.

Obviously you're all welcome to continue commenting, but right now my mind is set on trying to make this work. She's an amazing girl and she makes me feel incredible. I can't imagine what it would be like to spend time with her in person and I will do what I can (within obvious reason) to make that happen. That said, if my trust takes another big dip (she did a lot of reassuring last night, she definitely cares about me and us), I will be walking away for my own sake. I'll be open to talking to her in the future, perhaps nearer the time when we would be able to meet.

Thanks all.
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Old 8th December 2017, 10:23 AM   #17
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Location: Europe
Posts: 3,714
So how's it going? Still talking to each other?

Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
You can have a long distance relationship. This isn't that. This is a virtual relationship
That's the essence, in a nutshell.

At 21, things might evolve pretty quickly. I assume she's studying in uni. It makes sense she doesn't want any kind of interference. If she's pretty, guys might be hitting on her by the dozens. Especially if she's also sweet, on top of everything. You don't push for a relationship before meeting, so that's very wise of her.

Yes, she doesn't want to let you go. Not yet, at least. Why should she?
You made this possible. You gush after her from far away, give her your attention and compliments, and some spice. You make her feel desired, and she might love your accent. But what happens the moment you show your cold side? That's what you want to know. Would she put effort in to get you back? How much of it? Or would she just let it go? I suggest you don't test that, since you don't want to lose her before even meeting her in person. She must be enjoying the way she feels from being in touch with you. Is there any potential though? Hard to say for now.

I say arrange a trip in March/April.

Also, any chance she's coming to the UK for some uni exchang/trip? Maybe she's keeping it up to have someone local for when she will be there. Who knows.
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Old 8th December 2017, 6:38 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by BaileyB View Post
It seems to me that what you have right now is essentially an online friendship, not a romantic relationship. And this, is not what you want from this girl.

I will say this, as I have learned from experience... When someone tells you that are not ready or don't want a relationship, believe them. Don't waste time and energy hoping that they will change their minds. Go about your life, if and when she is ready for more - well, then she can let you know.
Yes move on, I've had quite a few guys tell me this and all that was an excuse w/out having to reject me.
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