gvitesse Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Hi people, I need some help figuring out this behaviour. I was in an LDR for over 3 years and I've closed distance a couple of months ago. So far, things are good but at times, we argue often and I feel like its her fault but I end up apologising and being the one to take the blame. I moved to her country to study Master's degree. This is what happened, this might sound stupid to all of you but we ended up with a big fight ( I know, fighting over something like this is immensely immature). She has been wanting to buy a dress from a very long time, and she asked me to check out where that is available. (we live in the same city but one hour of travel) but the dress was never available. Out of the blue, its available, and she asked me to buy the dress and I told her If I could buy another day since I am busy with classes and quiz and she tells me to F*** off because I refused to buy her dress in time. I feel embarrassed to ask this question but I love her and this behaviour of her is making me leave her. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 What is your question? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 If you are studying & had a quiz, yes it is unreasonable for her to think that you needed to stop doing that to get her a dress in that instant. People are too hung up about instant gratification. If she was worried that the dress would sell out, she could have called the store, put it on hold & then waited patiently for you to go get it as soon as it was convenient for you. You were doing her a favor. It was quite selfish of her to demand that you perform that favor on her schedule with no regard for your far more important priority -- school. Gee, she's also a grown woman & they have this nifty thing called the internet. There is no reason she could not have done this for herself. You moved to her & she's still very demanding. You admit you fight a lot, over trivial things & then you chase after her apologizing. Did you check your manhood at the border when you moved to her country? Seriously, what is in this for you? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 My first thought is she's a golddigger just trying to make you spend money on her and buy her gifts. But if I'm wrong, I still don't see why she couldn't get the dress herself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HarmonyDriven Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 ..... she tells me to F*** off because I refused to buy her dress in time. I feel embarrassed to ask this question but I love her and this behaviour of her is making me leave her. You two fight all the time. If my boyfriend ever told me to f-off, I'd be waving bye-bye. I hope you don't speak to her this way. And because she acted like this, I hope she cannot find the dress in her size. With the information you have provided, IMO, sounds like a good time to leave as you don't want to be a doormat, right? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 Hi people, I need some help figuring out this behaviour. I was in an LDR for over 3 years and I've closed distance a couple of months ago. So far, things are good but at times, we argue often and I feel like its her fault but I end up apologising and being the one to take the blame. I moved to her country to study Master's degree. This is what happened, this might sound stupid to all of you but we ended up with a big fight ( I know, fighting over something like this is immensely immature). She has been wanting to buy a dress from a very long time, and she asked me to check out where that is available. (we live in the same city but one hour of travel) but the dress was never available. Out of the blue, its available, and she asked me to buy the dress and I told her If I could buy another day since I am busy with classes and quiz and she tells me to F*** off because I refused to buy her dress in time. I feel embarrassed to ask this question but I love her and this behaviour of her is making me leave her. It would make me want to leave her too. Telling you to f-off because you won't buy her a dress is immature and absolutely unacceptable behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
Seriousperson Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 Her behavior is ridiculous. Studying for your masters is stressful and intense. She should know way better and telling you to f off. If she behaves this way all the time, your life will be hell and you will be stuck in a dysfunctional relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Steve51 Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 That is the problem with LDR. I had one and we got engaged and she cheated on me when I was away. 80% of LDRs never succeed. Having a love affair at a distance does not put in in the same circumstances as you find yourself in when you two are together. The smart thing to do is spend time together before you commit to relocating. It is the same thing when you marry someone that you have not lived with. You never had to share your money and put up with the little things that tend to annoy us. You only knew what she wanted you to know and there was nothing to fight about or annoy you. All this texting and sexting going on these days only allows you to see another person as they want to be seen. An online personality can be all made up. Only when together can you tell if you are compatible, never from online even though it may sound as if you are. While in the LDR there was no reason to be upset or annoying. Link to post Share on other sites
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