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LDR with child hood sweetheart and rushing into a marriage.


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Old 5th August 2017, 4:28 AM   #1
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LDR with child hood sweetheart and rushing into a marriage.

So I would just like to have some opinions about this situation:

My ex for 3 months just married a guy she has known all her life.
She lived abroad the first 10 years of her life where she had a best friend who through the years after she emigrated she saw maybe twice a year for a few days. She knows him over 30 years.
This year she went abroad again and met him and they found out that they always loved each other but never dared to say.

She has had a LDR with him for 3 months now and met him twice and stayed for a week at his home. It is all love and roses.

Now she is married to him and flabbergasted friends and family.
She has a history of impulsive (re)actions and besides an overwhelmingly sexual need, also has a 9 year old child from another father.

She probably never spent more than a month without a boyfriend since she was in her teens.

Is this marriage doomed to fail or because she has known this guy all her life, were childhood sweethearts that for 30 years didn't dare to say they loved each other, does it have a chance...

Their goal is to go and live together a.s.a.p. but I guess that is normal when one gets married...

Last edited by Zanth; 5th August 2017 at 4:32 AM..
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Old 5th August 2017, 5:14 AM   #2
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Out of curiosity, how do you know so many details about this relationship and subsequent marriage?

It's not necessarily doomed to fail, but it doesn't appear to have been the most well thought-out plan. However, it's no longer your problem.
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Old 5th August 2017, 5:38 AM   #3
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She told me all about her past and was proud of her experience with sex, men and this guy.
Agreed it is no longer my problem, but that wasn't my intention for this post.
I am curious if this could work or not...I do not want her back at all.
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Old 5th August 2017, 5:56 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zanth View Post
She told me all about her past and was proud of her experience with sex, men and this guy.
Agreed it is no longer my problem, but that wasn't my intention for this post.
I am curious if this could work or not...I do not want her back at all.
But where are you gleaning the details of their marriage? Are you still in touch with her?

This marriage could potentially work, given how long they've known each other and have apparently always held a torch for each other.
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Old 5th August 2017, 6:32 AM   #5
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She's your ex. Why does it matter to you?

I honestly think you should stop following all the details of her life, and instead remove her from your social media accounts and go NC.
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Old 5th August 2017, 6:43 AM   #6
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I said I was curious and do not want her back... talking about me having to let go is not answering the question but telling me I should not post these threads... why not? I am free to decide how to get over someone and this is not a question because I am not over someone...I am actually curious.
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Old 5th August 2017, 9:05 AM   #7
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Only time will tell. The fact that she has a history of rash & impulsive decisions is a factor working against them but if they work together they could get the dream & last forever.

Because you are so critical of her decisions, chalk this up as you dodging a bullet & move on with your own life.
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Old 5th August 2017, 11:21 AM   #8
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She probably has a better shot at stability with him since they have a common background and know each other well than any of the others. Of course, that doesn't mean it can't fail.
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Old 7th February 2018, 9:15 AM   #9
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The End...
I wanted to inform the followers of this threat about the outcome.
Like I said at the time...I didn't want her back... I was just left with question after question...and knew I would not have peace before I could answer some of them.
The well meant...Move on, forget her etc etc etc.... was the worst advice to give. It sweeps aside any reason to post the threat in the first place.
(sorry to be so hard).
Because I kept looking into it I finally found out she is a narcissist.
I will not go into what that is...there are plenty of videos (Sam Vaknin), books and forums about it, but if you are stuck (or not) feeling a love ache but feeling used, abused and with a huge questionmark over your head thinking: What the F happened????!... that's when you might look into cluster B personality disorders.
I later on even remembered her telling me she was diagnosed NPD... I didn't know or care at the time what it was because the love bombing stage was ongoing and I was beautifully groomed.
I am so happy now with a new girl and she is may just be the love of my life.
Still when reading about people telling others to "just move on" when someone asks a specific question is well meant but not very useful.
I would recommend anyone who feels devastated after a break up to go and seek professional help... do not go to friends or family...yeah maybe the first few days...but if the pain stays...find real help from professionals or experience experts.
Some love related problems are too big for the majority of the people around you to understand or help you with.
Anyway thank you all for your responses.
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