She is away for the summer

[Ryan M]

Hey there,

 

I never thought I would seek advice from anyone about anything and I thought that I could handle things by myself but unfortunately for me, that is not the case and that is the reason why I am writing here. I hope someone would respond as soon as possible. Here is my story:

 

I recently (2 months ago) got a girl I was chasing for quite some time and who I thought would not be interested in me. However, things worked out and we've been together for these two months and we've almost been together 24/7 the past month. I just graduated college and she just finished her freshman year. I've been literally sleeping in her dorm (every day), with her roommate who also likes me a lot as a friend and approves our relationship very much. On top of that, all of her girlfriends like me as a person and a fond of us as a couple so I've already earned their trust. We spent a lot of time together and we both felt we have something special. What I loved about her is that (she is solid 8/10 in physical appearance) months before we started dating, I would see her in the same club, although very rarely (not the club/party type of a girl) to reject a lot of decent/handsome looking guys (some were even friends of mine) in a very polite matter, of course. I loved that about her and the fact that she wasn't looking for just anybody to be with or a sex buddy meant a lot to me when we started dating - made me feel special. Last month I found out she was a virgin and she wanted me to be the one - that made me even happier. So it happened. I became her first.

 

Unfortunately, she left for the whole summer and is coming back around the end of August.Even though she has shown nothing to make me even think that she doesn't want to be with me during the summer, I have a couple of things that I am worried about. Since I had to break up with my last GF the same way (she cheated on me during the whole summer while she was away and lied to me by acting normal and pretending we are still together until I came back). Although she is a totally different type of girl and I doubt this will happen, I am still worried that she might do it (HELP!). However, the thing that I am worried the most is that she still has 3 years in college and she just got "deflowered" and found out how nice sex feels. I doubt that the thought of "experimenting" with other people won't pop up in her head at one point and I don't mean in 1-2 months but maybe in a year or two. We had a discussion on the topic and since she studies in a private university and there are about 1000 students only, she said that there is no way she would start dating any of the guys from college (I introduced her to a lot of sophomores, juniors so she knows most guys in the university). The problem is that after the summer I will be close to her ( less than 1hour drive ) but it is different compared to seeing her every day while I was still in college and sleeping with her in her room or mine every day. I am worried that while she is in the US ( we're from Eastern Europe) for the summer, she will start thinking about these things. Maybe I should just try to text her and video chat with her as much as possible so she does not lose the feelings she has for me during her stay. Unfortunately, I need a visa to go visit her so this task is out of the possibilities. I don't know why I am freaking out so much. I am pretty sure it is unnecessary since as I said she has only proved her loyalty and respect towards me and in no way has she ever done anything for me to have my doubts. Nevertheless, it may be the trauma and memories from my last break-up that bothers me that is why I am turning to you for guidance on what I should do to have my mindset on the right track.

I will be working with some friends at a beach bar as a bartender so I will be busy most of the time with work. Any advice?

 

Sincerely,

Ryan M.

[d0nnivain]

You can't punish your new GF for mistakes made by your EX. That is not fair.

 

 

You will be working at a beach bar . . . don't you think she's worried about you too?

 

 

The fact that she is in college & you're entering the working world is going to be a bigger strain on your relationship then the summer. Once you get a real job you won't be able to text her & so all the other stuff college kids do.

 

 

You can't worry about that now, unless you are prepared to dump her prophylactically.

[Ryan M]

About the mistake made by my EX - "it is not fair" is exactly how she reacted and she was even slightly mad that I think of her that way. On top of that, she also said that she has not done anything for me to think that even for a moment, which calmed me down a little.

About me entering the real world - I would be less than an hour away and I will still have time to talk to her and text her after/during work. I've been working since I was 15 so I am not really scared of that ruining the whole situation. Nevertheless, I am still worried for an unknown reason which I still think is the trauma caused by my EX.

[justwhoiam]

First of all I'm curious: what does an 8/10 look like? What doesn't make her a solid 10?

I will avoid going down the path of speaking my mind about judging people by their looks.

 

Anyway, I'm confused about the situation. You were sleeping with her where? How come she has a visa for the USA? Why is she going there for the summer? And why can't you apply for a visa?

[Ryan M]

She is not a 10 because no one in this world is perfect. Even though she is a 10 for me, for someone else she might not be but the mean is around 8, knowing how many people like her. I am the last guy you will hear talking about physical appearance only. I am more of an emotional guy obviously.

 

Referring to the visa issue, it is simple. I graduated and she did not. The embassy gives visas to a lot of students and gives graduate students almost no visas. Moreover, I met her when I had already decided to stay here so even if I want to go now, it will take me more than a month and a lot of money that I do not have to go there in about a month and a half. Having only a month and a half until the end of the summer I would have to firstly start looking for a second job and I won't be able to get enough money for such little time.

 

If we were together when I still had the chance to sign up for Work And Travel in the US, I would have definitely signed up for it but unfortunately it is too late.