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To move in, or not to move in?


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OK, I have been dating a guy for 10 months (although we've known each other for 5 years - his sister was my college roommate), and we live 2.5 hours apart. We see each other almost every weekend, but we would really like to live closer to one another. We both looked for jobs in Des Moines (I live in western Iowa, and he lives in southern Iowa), and I found one. He has had two interviews, but we haven't heard back about either of them. I'm kind of guessing that he's not going to get one, since they haven't called for a couple of weeks, so he will probably be working in southern Iowa still, about 1.5 hours away from where I will be. We have talked about living in the middle and each commuting 45 minutes to our jobs. We are talking about buying a condo or a house together. If he gets a job in Des Moines, we will probably get a place together. I guess my question is, should I be moving in with him if I've never lived in the same town as him before? Should we start out living separately and see how that goes first? Should we try an apartment, so there isn't all of that paperwork involved with splitting up a house if we break up? I really want to live with him, but I don't want to find out the hard way that we are not compatible. Dumb question... I guess I was just wondering if anyone has actually moved to where their SO lives and how that all played out.

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HotCaliGirl

I think you should just buy a house together and live 45 minutes each way. It will be a hassle to move into an apartment, then move one more time into a house. If you split, you can either sell the house and part ways or one of you can continue living in it.

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I think you should try living seperately first in the same town. Long distance love and living together are two very different things and it doesnt sound as though after 10 months of an LDR you are ready for such a big leap as moving in together.

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10 months is not long enough to live together in my opinion, especially since you've been long distance.

 

And I would NOT buy a house together, even when you do live together, untill you are married (if at all). Even if you have a good buy-sell arrangement, there's no guarantee that the prevailing market will let either one of you out.

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Maybe an apartment? I don't know. I would kind of be for just getting an apartment with some girl my own age and dating him for another year before we move in together. I don't want to chance being miserable when I'm just starting a new job and starting a life in a new city.

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do that then. I think thats the best idea. youll have more chance of making your own friends that way and building a life seperate to the one you have with your boyfriend. good luck!

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Originally posted by chubachoop

do that then. I think thats the best idea. youll have more chance of making your own friends that way and building a life seperate to the one you have with your boyfriend. good luck!

Thanks. It's hard to not buy into the fairy tale, though, you know?

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