Is he just flirting and boosting his ego?

[VanessaVanessa]

Ok, so a few weeks back I came across a guy I met overseas on facebook suggestions. I sent him a request and he accepted and we begun chatting briefly just about how we are and all and then he asked me for my Whatsapp. We chatted there each day for a good week and in that time he sent me a couple photos of himself, a few where he was shirtless. He also complimented me and said that he wants me to go over there and at first I took it lightly and brushed it off but he has kept on saying things like that.

 

However over the past week he has taken longer to reply to my messages and if I am busy I will usually let him know (not just keep him waiting). So 2 days ago I was on an overseas phone call on Whatsapp and I only saw his message and didn't get a chance to reply so it was left as seen for a while, however I replied an hour later. So he took several hours to respond back and the messages went something like this (I had been talking to him about sending a clone of his to come to my country)...

 

Him - It has to be me or nobody because I don't have a clone

Me - Haha, but too bad there is no way

Him - Hmmm

Me - Try a boat or go to a lab and make yourself a clone

Him - Hahah. You come here for me and I'll be yours

Me - If only it were true!

Him - Why wouldn't it be?

Me - Well what if we find there is nothing in common?

Him - Relationships are grown not born

Me - Aren't you only allowed to date within your religion?

Him - The church shows us principles but we have our own decisions to make

Me - Oh okay. Have you had girlfriends outside of the church before?

Him - Most of them

Me - Can I ask you a question?

Him - Go ahead

Me - How is something like that maintained?

Him - ?

Me - Well you told me before you had been in a long distance thing before, so how did you go about it?

 

 

This is where he stopped replying. I thought fair enough because it was late in his country at the time and he usually stops then. Thing is that today while on whatsapp I saw he had read the message (two blue ticks) and updated his photo but he still didn't reply. Then I thought, ok so maybe he is waiting until later in my day to reply but hours went by and I even saw him online for a while and I still didn't get a reply. He has never read and not responded to me in these past 3 weeks or so so it's confusing. He is the one who started talking about that stuff and sending me photos without any request and sending me kisses but now I don't get this scenario. Has he done it to give me a taste of my own medicine? Or is he just wanting to let it go?

 

Oh and FYI he is a church-guy yet he seem(ed) laidback enough so I don't get why he couldn't just answer me. Should I just let this go?

[justwhoiam]

he sent me a couple photos of himself, a few where he was shirtless

First of all, were they random pictures in places where you are normally shirtless, like on the beach? Or like in his bedroom (which is clearly suggestive of something else)?

 

said that he wants me to go over there

Why? 1) What's the reason for him wanting you to be with him? and 2) Why does he want it to be YOU travelling to him?

 

Also what are your respective countries? And how old are you both?

 

Relationships are grown not born

What do you think he meant by that? That love at first sight doesn't exist? Or that he listens more to what his head says than his heart? Or that a relationship comes after a long time?

 

Relationships are born, at times in a few minutes. Interactions lead to relationships. The latter can grow or die down. I guess the guy wanted to be philosophical, but his reasoning was poor. Still, it'd be interesting to know what made him say that.

 

What's his religion? And what's yours, if any? If you're not religious at all, or atheist, I'd discourage you to be with a religious man.

 

Has he done it to give me a taste of my own medicine? Or is he just wanting to let it go?

I think it's the latter. I sense he didn't feel like answering, he didn't know how to answer or he didn't feel like thinking about what happened in his (recent) past. Or, just to play around a bit, it's possible that the question brought him suddenly back to harsh reality and he felt he didn't want to go down the same path again and he distanced himself from you.

 

Should I just let this go?

Don't contact him and let him come back to you. He has your FB contact, he has your cell phone number. He has plenty of ways to get in touch with you if and whenever he feels like. Go on with your life. Give him the time to figure out what he wants. Then come back here when he does get back to you.

[VanessaVanessa]

Thanks for your reply justwhoiam

 

They were shirtless photos of him just in his bedroom (so intentionally taken).

 

I even asked him this, and made a point of us not really knowing each other. What he said was that interest is how it starts and then from there people get to know each other. Another thing is initially he would say that he would come here for me (which i took as a joke) and since him saying for me to go there I asked him why would I do the travelling? His response was that a woman follows his man (metaphorically not domineeringly).

 

I am from Australia and he is from Central America.

 

In regards to him saying "relationships are grown not born" it was like he was saying it takes work, but at the same time I felt that it was simplifying the situation. I mean, something has to be born in the first place the way I see it.

 

So his religion is Mormon. I know quite a bit about their beliefs/rules and I don't agree with many of them, I even briefly mentioned that in another time. I am not very religious, I don't follow any specific denomination and I have also said this. However he knows I actually happen to avoid certain things like alcohol,smoking etc.

 

I would have understood if he didn't want to get into it, I felt like he could have just let me know instead of just basically cutting it there when I was trying to get to know the situation a little better. If he even said he didn't feel like discussing the past it would have given me a reason.

 

 

Thanks again for your reply!

[ExpatInItaly]

I think he's looking for some flirting and sexting but that's about it. The shirtless selfie says it all - he's looking for an ego boost. A certain type of guy does that when he doesn't even know the girl and they will likely never meet.

 

I think you're reading too much into his messages. Chalk it up to a bit of flirty banter and move along.

[justwhoiam]

They were shirtless photos of him just in his bedroom (so intentionally taken).

So you are aware of what kind of internet user he is.

 

His response was that a woman follows his man (metaphorically not domineeringly).

I am from Australia and he is from Central America.

Uhm, no, he didn't mean it metaphorically... Hypothetically, yes; metaphorically, no.

 

So his religion is Mormon. I know quite a bit about their beliefs/rules and I don't agree with many of them, I even briefly mentioned that in another time. I am not very religious

Then my best advice is to not entertain anything romantic with this guy, not even for fun. Because at times you start something for fun, and end up falling in love. And it'd be a disaster.

 

I would have understood if he didn't want to get into it, I felt like he could have just let me know instead of just basically cutting it there when I was trying to get to know the situation a little better. If he even said he didn't feel like discussing the past it would have given me a reason.

He's probably not very mature. I hope that's due to his young age. But many guys prefer to just let things go and forget about them when they feel uncomfortable, hoping that the other person will forget about that too.

 

 

Thanks again for your reply!

You're welcome

[VanessaVanessa]

I think he's looking for some flirting and sexting but that's about it. The shirtless selfie says it all - he's looking for an ego boost. A certain type of guy does that when he doesn't even know the girl and they will likely never meet.

 

I think you're reading too much into his messages. Chalk it up to a bit of flirty banter and move along.

You're probably right. Still no text until now. I feel foolish for even looking it to it this much. I'll just forget it.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

Yeah, sorry but it sounds like he was flirting and caught up in the fantasy. As soon as you started talking love and relationships he freaked out. His behavior suggests he wasn't looking for anything meaningful.

 

At least you didn't invest too much time in this guy. Don't settle for less than you want.

[TMichaels]

.. he is from Central America. So his religion is Mormon.

 

I'd be questioning that, as Mormon Church/LDS membership is 2% or less in Central America. The beefcake photos also don't jive as modesty is still a basic tenet of church beliefs regardless of gender.

 

My guess is he thinks "Mormons are cool" because he's heard polygamy is allowed. *Was* allowed. Hasn't been condoned by the church since 1980, but when you're a hormone-laden boy (or have the emotional maturity of one), that's the sort of stuff that you think is risqué and makes you sexy.

 

As to your original question: "Should I let it go?" Not sure why you're asking that since he's already gone.

 

Why didn't he answer your simple and honest question? Because it was too much work. Much more fun when all you do is fire back glib one-liners especially when you lack the knowledge, maturity and interest to carry on any meaningful conversation.

 

If you're looking for quality b/f material, responding to FB Suggestions isn't the place. Get out and meet people in your home town, at school, the gym, at your church. Join a club, volunteer.

 

Anyone you would meet this way also uses email, texts, FB, WhatsApp, etc. Once you've met them in the flesh and determined they're worthy of your interest, then you can yammer away using whatever social/electronic means that suits, but starting out the opposite way generally leads to a lot of heartache, disillusionment and disappointment as it's too easy for people to hide their real selves behind a computer screen.

 

HTH,

TMichaels

[ExpatInItaly]

You're probably right. Still no text until now. I feel foolish for even looking it to it this much. I'll just forget it.

 

This is wise. He already has, it seems.

 

In the future, don't take guys like him seriously. He's on the other side of the world, sending you shirtless selfies...and you're probably not the only woman he's doing this with. Red flags all over that.

 

Stick to guys you can meet in the flesh, ie. local men.

[coolheadal]

Ok, so a few weeks back I came across a guy I met overseas on facebook suggestions. I sent him a request and he accepted and we begun chatting briefly just about how we are and all and then he asked me for my Whatsapp. We chatted there each day for a good week and in that time he sent me a couple photos of himself, a few where he was shirtless. He also complimented me and said that he wants me to go over there and at first I took it lightly and brushed it off but he has kept on saying things like that.

 

However over the past week he has taken longer to reply to my messages and if I am busy I will usually let him know (not just keep him waiting). So 2 days ago I was on an overseas phone call on Whatsapp and I only saw his message and didn't get a chance to reply so it was left as seen for a while, however I replied an hour later. So he took several hours to respond back and the messages went something like this (I had been talking to him about sending a clone of his to come to my country)...

 

Him - It has to be me or nobody because I don't have a clone

Me - Haha, but too bad there is no way

Him - Hmmm

Me - Try a boat or go to a lab and make yourself a clone

Him - Hahah. You come here for me and I'll be yours

Me - If only it were true!

Him - Why wouldn't it be?

Me - Well what if we find there is nothing in common?

Him - Relationships are grown not born

Me - Aren't you only allowed to date within your religion?

Him - The church shows us principles but we have our own decisions to make

Me - Oh okay. Have you had girlfriends outside of the church before?

Him - Most of them

Me - Can I ask you a question?

Him - Go ahead

Me - How is something like that maintained?

Him - ?

Me - Well you told me before you had been in a long distance thing before, so how did you go about it?

 

 

This is where he stopped replying. I thought fair enough because it was late in his country at the time and he usually stops then. Thing is that today while on whatsapp I saw he had read the message (two blue ticks) and updated his photo but he still didn't reply. Then I thought, ok so maybe he is waiting until later in my day to reply but hours went by and I even saw him online for a while and I still didn't get a reply. He has never read and not responded to me in these past 3 weeks or so so it's confusing. He is the one who started talking about that stuff and sending me photos without any request and sending me kisses but now I don't get this scenario. Has he done it to give me a taste of my own medicine? Or is he just wanting to let it go?

 

Oh and FYI he is a church-guy yet he seem(ed) laidback enough so I don't get why he couldn't just answer me. Should I just let this go?

 

Way to many red flags with this guy and I don't believe anything out of text. When they take a long time to reply they're busy talking to someone else. If he told you that the internet was slow usually talking to someone else. If he takes off his shirt then this is another sigh of what type of guy he is. You really don't need to see him shirtless. If started asking you to send him money then you know it's all about money. He wants naughty things from you and you didn't give it to him. Which you shouldn't really do anyway. So many of these men and there are women doing also shame. They start off saying they want to talk then start sending photo like you describe.

 

LDR is not really a relationship its just a way to make friends. Until you see and touch this person in real life then different story. Skype and cell phones not the same either. You really don't know who your with still strangers but strangers with some sort of mind communication. Block this guy on move on..

[VanessaVanessa]

I'd be questioning that, as Mormon Church/LDS membership is 2% or less in Central America. The beefcake photos also don't jive as modesty is still a basic tenet of church beliefs regardless of gender.

 

My guess is he thinks "Mormons are cool" because he's heard polygamy is allowed. *Was* allowed. Hasn't been condoned by the church since 1980, but when you're a hormone-laden boy (or have the emotional maturity of one), that's the sort of stuff that you think is risqué and makes you sexy.

 

As to your original question: "Should I let it go?" Not sure why you're asking that since he's already gone.

 

Why didn't he answer your simple and honest question? Because it was too much work. Much more fun when all you do is fire back glib one-liners especially when you lack the knowledge, maturity and interest to carry on any meaningful conversation.

 

If you're looking for quality b/f material, responding to FB Suggestions isn't the place. Get out and meet people in your home town, at school, the gym, at your church. Join a club, volunteer.

 

Anyone you would meet this way also uses email, texts, FB, WhatsApp, etc. Once you've met them in the flesh and determined they're worthy of your interest, then you can yammer away using whatever social/electronic means that suits, but starting out the opposite way generally leads to a lot of heartache, disillusionment and disappointment as it's too easy for people to hide their real selves behind a computer screen.

 

HTH,

TMichaels

 

Yeah I know, Mormonism is a rarity there and honestly that is where I first actually learned about their practices (which put me off).

 

As for his belief in it, his profile was actually filled with images of his mission and a couple religious related images. I guess that is why I figured his pictures weren't out of such a bad motive. He also talked about about his time there and all so I thought he had a bit more of maturity (despite my non-agreement with their rules).

 

I actually did meet him in person over there which is why I considered a friendship at the least. But time and time again I realise that social media creates a false sense of connection. I guess I feel lost because I have had unsuccessful results with guys in person too and it seems everyone has some lack of honesty etc.

 

He is 25 so I thought he wouldn't be capable of ignoring someone like that like a teen, but you know more as you go I suppose. I am 21 and although I will be the first to admit I am not the most mature person, I wouldn't have done or said that for nothing.

 

Thanks for your input.