AlexDominico Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 met this girl, had sex and great connection, was totally into me, went back to her country. we kept in touch. 2 month down the line we had the talk, she said she doesnt want LDR because "so many things can go wrong, she had a bad previous experience, and shes afraid of getting hurt, and she cant leave her country and family for me". funny enough she found some local bf after 1 month so we were still talking when she had a bf which I sort of guessed. She did end up coming London after 3 month since first we met, and we hung out had few great dates, no sex obviously this time, kissed tiny bit but that was forced. but she basically said same thing about not wanting LDR. Very strange why did she come over here even though she has her bf there? Can women really be that afraid of LDR? or was she just not that into me? I mean she didnt have to get a bf and we could of visited each other, but she was so against LDR from the start, so makes sense in a way. And then again why did she come to see me again. just so weird. She was super confused. Told me "my heart is in london but my head is in germany". I mean wtf, if your heart is here then why date another guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Lobouspo Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 This woman conveyed she had a bad experience with a previous LDR, and these type of relationships under the best of circumstances can be difficult. I would just take her word for it. Perhaps she likes London and wanted to see what kind of connection she still had with you. At least she did not string you along and was honest about the boyfriend thing right away. Probably did you a favor man. Stick to the locals in London. Big city with plenty of available women!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Can't speak for all women, but this woman won't do an LDR, because [to me] LDRs aren't real. A real relationship consists of those day-to-day moments, which include sharing the happinesses (new job, raise, positive pregnancy test results, etc.) and let-downs as well as the day-to-day drudgery (not enough money to pay the bills, the house needs to be cleaned, whose family do we spend the holidays with, who's picking up Johnny after practice, etc.) ANYone can put on a happy face for the daily 20 minute - 2 hour Skype chat; who/how/what you are is revealed in how you handle the everyday frustrations - and successes - of real life. Good for her for figuring out that a LDR wasn't working for her and letting you know, to free you up for your next LDR or geographically-desirable relationship. Best of luck to you, OP... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Pretty much everyone hates LDRs. In terms of genuine LDRs, people only do it because they see a future with that person that's worth the misery of long distance. The long distance part is still hateful. She doesn't think it's worth it, and frankly if you just met for a short while and all you had was 'sex and a great connection', her decision actually sounds very sensible. You need far more than that to get through an international LDR. Sex + connection (or at least the degree of connection that you could possibly form in such a short period of time) is not that hard to find. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
newt Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 In my opinion it's because they found someone local 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 People of both genders have an aversion to an LDR. People are tactile. They like to be hugged & kiss. A screen, a text or voice only are no substitutes for your lover's caress. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
ses Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 LDR's are only worth it if both parties agree to an "end date," to close the distance—otherwise the prolonged separation will have a detrimental effect. You truly have to be serious about the person and your future with them to choose to be separated from them. It's difficult and lonely a lot of the times, but it's worth it if you meet the right person. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Countryredneckbae Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 With me I have to do an LDR cause close realtionships dont last no longer then a week. I like LDR better then close relationships because then this way when you met eachother you can surprise one another then being around eachother everyday. But maybe thats just my 2 sense. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 The only way I'd do LDR is for it to be not exclusive. We could date others. Then, if we can get together and still want to get together later, we can, but don't have to sacrifice anything in the present for an unlikely future. It's always better to find someone local, IMO, or at least try to. LDR may work if both are extraordinarily committed to each other and have had enough time together to truly bond enough to make dating others unappealing. And even then, if there's no reasonable way and time to be together permanently in the near future, it's not worth trying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NewLeaf512 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I know a lovely man who is keen to date me and as amazing as he is (besides not being ready) there is no way in hell I would do it will 10,000 miles between us. Link to post Share on other sites
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