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Girlfriend is not being truthful..and it hurts...


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I have been seeing this girl for about a year and a half now. We started dating right when i was about to move to another state to take a job. I was attracted to her from the moment we met but she did have a live in bf at the time. According to her they were in the process of breaking up. She begged me to stay and be with her, and even though i wanted to, i just couldnt do it because of her situation.

 

She helped me move out of state and we have been together ever since. Initially she would come out to visit me every month. We talked on the phone all the time. Emailed all the time. In that year and a half i grew to love her very much. I thought she was the one.

 

A few months after i moved out of state, she told me that her ex had moved out. The whole time i was living alone she always told me that one day she would move down to be with me. Nothing would have made me happier.

 

Well her visits down started to become less frequent, they went from every month, to every other month, to every 3 months. As of now i have not seen her since middle of october. Her calls became less frequent. Even when i called her, she was never available. She wouldnt pick up the phone and either call me later or not even call me at all.

 

Of course i became very frustrated. I missed her terribly. I would ask her why things have changed, and she would tell me nothing has changed, she is just more busy with work. I believed her but still was very frustrated.

 

Well in December, i grew so frustrated from not being able to reach her. I normally call her on the cell because its cheaper. After calling her cell 10 times in one night with no callback , i called her house phone late at night. Her "boyfriend" picked up the phone. We had it out. He tells me he has been with her for 10 years. i was crushed. Here i was being faithful to her, patiently waiting for her to move down with me, and according to him she has been with him the whole time.

 

She then refuses to call me at all. I would email her for an explanation, and she would promise me one, but never called. She says she was too ashamed to call. Did not know what to say.

 

After a few weeks of not hearing from her, she started to email me again, started to call me again. But with no explanation, except that he was no longer living there. i believed her again, because like i said i truly did love her. she started calling me again, telling me how much she loved me and one day we would be together.

 

Well its now january and again the phone calls have become infrequent, she hasnt said she loved me for a little while now. So again i started becoming frustrated. I logged into her email acct. I found emails that indicate that he is still living there(or at least came back). And not only that, but emails from a guy that she works with that indicate they have some kind of relationship.

 

I do not know what to do. I am going crazy thinking about her. I love her so much, i thought she was the one. The hurt is driving me crazy. Everyday i swear i am not going to pick up when she calls that i have to forget. but as soon as i see her number on the caller id , i just cant wait to pick it up.

 

I came to this forum because i feel i need people to talk to, but this is something i do not want to talk to my friends about, at least not yet. I guess i am just looking for advice or just someone to talk to about it.

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Your post should be titled "HIS Girlfriend is not being truthful"

 

Despite your feelings, she's not your g/f and you now have plenty of evidence that she probably never broke up with him, or rather, she has effectively kept all her options open.

 

He was handy and they had history.

 

You were unobtainable and a new exciting thing.

 

Thus, she played both sides.

 

She clearly has some problems, both with lying and with just being in charge of herself. Frankly she's not worth that much trouble.

 

I would make a clean break and get out to meet other women in your area.

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Wow Rick, what a confusing situation!

 

The bad news is that the honest loving women with whom you fell in love doesn't seem to actually exist. Now that you know more about her, ask yourself if you really want to be with the type of woman she has turned out to be - my guess would be no.

 

She is being disrespectful and deceitful towards the three men (if I counted right - there's a coworker in there too, right?) in her life, and I would assume that none of you deserve it. So, as painful as it always is, I would suggest a clean break and for you to move on. Good luck.

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  • 1 month later...
RecordProducer

Welcome to the club of broken hearts, Rick! We can give you a tissue to wipe off the blood leaking from your heart.

It will go away some day. When my ex-husband left me it hurt like hell, but after trying so many times to keep him, I realized that he was not a very good person and that I was better off without him. It still hurt, but then I met my next boyfriend and things changed, I suddenly stopped loving him and thinking about him. It took me a couple of years though, but it's better to suffer a few years than your whole life.

You will pick up the phone many more times, suffer, cry, hide your "shame" from your friends (like I did cuz I was ashamed that my ex left me with our two baby-twins as if I was no good)...But it will all go away eventually.

She ain't worth your love. Her behavior is outrageous and you should have never stepped into that piece of...YKW.

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