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Break to explore other relationships?


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Me and my bf have been dating for just under 2 years and have been long distance for just over a year. Neither of us really know what we may or may not be missing from our university experience by being in a relationship and the topic about going on a break to explore that was brought up. From what we have discussed it would be a roughly 3 week break in which we can go on dates with other people, go out to clubs, etc. without having to worry about making each other uncomfortable, after 3 weeks, we would talk again and figure out if we are better off and happier on our own or with each other.

 

Does anyone have any opinions on this or have experiences like it?

I am torn on the idea because I don't want to do this and lose him but I also haven't done anything with another guy so I don't know if I could be happier with someone else. I love him so much and I don't want to lose him but I don't know what else is out there. I would be happy not doing this but at the same time I a little curious.

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Take a break. Don't give each other details of what you did or didn't do afterwards. Make that agreement now. No questions. Chances are he has someone he's wanting to check out if he brought it up. But if either of you doesn't already have another love interest, then 3 weeks probably isn't long enough for one to materialize. But you should go do what you want during that 3 weeks, not communicate with each other or check up on each other or talk. If you're the one who isn't already interested in someone else, you should ask for 6 weeks or 3 months instead of 3 weeks so you can really see what's going on out there.

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Three weeks isn't long enough to evaluate whether some other girl/guy is better than the one you're with now. It is, however, long enough to know if you are relieved not to be with someone else or can't stand the thought of not having them in your life.

 

Also realize that "taking a break" is usually a chicken-sh|t excuse for not having the guts to just bit the bullet and break up. Not saying there aren't people who have done so and gotten back together, but usually when one or the other in the relationship suggests a break, he/she is already on their way out.

 

All that aside, the fact your BF suggested this and by your admission that you are curious what else is out there, says to me it might be the right thing to do -- for both of you. Obviously, both of you are wondering "what else is out there" --- IOW, you're not 100% sure what you have is worth it for the long haul.

 

If that's how one or the other or the both of you are thinking/feeling, I'd say you should take that break -- but not for three weeks. You should just break up, live your own lives, and see where that leads.

 

Though you didn't say how old the two of you are, I'm guessing under 25. You have the rest of your lives ahead of you. See what's out there now, so you know what it is you want. Right now, it sounds as though both of you are unsure.

 

Best,

TMichaels

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