is my boyfriend pretending to be single again?

[crossfite]

My long distance boyfriend got really distant for weeks until lately, we have talked about it and everything is back to normal. However, few things changed. He doesn't post anything about us on instagram like he used to, he just posts random things and he even posted a pic of a half naked model on his page. I didn't like it, I find it a little disrespectful but I didn't say anything, it's his page he can do whatever pleases him. Yesterday he changed his profile pic to a pic with this girl he is friends with, who has a huge crush on him... but this is not the first time he does it, he already did it before and when I confronted him about it, he said that it was an inside joke between them. But now he did it again. Also today is my birthday.. he called me last night to wish me a happy birthday, afterwards he posted 3 random pictures on instagram, a pic of his car and 2 selfies and he changed his profile pic. He didn't even send me a sweet birthday message and didn't post anything about me like most boyfriends do. He didn't post a pic of me since the first week of November 2014, he had that he was taken in his bio but he removed that also long ago... I'm having doubts about him... could he be pretending to be single?

He already did in the past, we broke up and got back together after 6 months..

Btw we have been together for 2 years now.

[justwhoiam]

Hi crossfite, welcome to the LS forum.

 

How old are you both? Are you in your teens?

Also, have you ever met this guy in real life?

 

He can be with you as long as you stay in the shadow. So you draw your own conclusions.

 

You're not happy with his behavior, still you say he can do whatever he pleases. You saw what pleases him, and you are not in the picture (no pun intended).

[crossfite]

Thank you for your reply. We are both 22.

I have met him several times, he comes to visit me and I got visit him as well. I know his family and he knows mine as well. We are in a serious relationship and I am planning on moving to his area next fall but I'm having doubts now because of this..

[umirano]

Hi crossfite,

 

a 2 years ago I was in your shoes, except I was the guy and the ex-GF was acting up.

 

What have I learned from it?

 

• Refuse to communicate about your RS via indirect SM activities
  
• A relationship should be easy and comfortable, not second guessing and mind reading of SM activities or other things
  
• Social media activities are used by weak people to communicate indirectly
  

So I suggest you confront your BF about it. Tell him you don't appreciate it when he makes his online appearance to portray him as single or being with this crush. Tell him to come clean. If he likes this other girl he should break up with you instead of half-assing in between you and her, the real world and the virtual world. Tell him you want a BF who knows what he wants, is loyal to his love and communicates accordingly.

 

 

If he can't do that he isn't for you and I'm pretty sure you have better things to do than wasting your time with someone who doesn't know where he belongs.

 

 

Good luck,

umirano

[crossfite]

I will confront him but he will probably deny it if i was right, he won't admit it and I don't know what I would do from that moment... did your girlfriend admitted to pretending single?

[evanescentworld]

In my opinion you don't need to confront him.

His actions speak louder than words.

 

he's done this before?

You've broken up before?

He's repeating behaviour he MUST know you don't like, but can see?

He's disrespected you and glossed over your birthday?

 

Read your post as if you were a total stranger to "crossfire".

 

What would YOU tell her?

 

I'm telling you to drop him like a hot coal, go No Contact and leave him be.

 

If he contacts you, observe the message.

Is it breadcrumbs 'give me attention!' or is it sincere apology 'please forgive me!'....?

 

I strongly suspect it will be the former - don't you?

[umirano]

I will confront him but he will probably deny it if i was right, he won't admit it and I don't know what I would do from that moment... did your girlfriend admitted to pretending single?

 

Then you tell him you don't believe him and that you're done playing games. Then break up.

 

When my GF first disappeared on me for a couple of days out of the blue and the only heart beat I got when she changed her profile picture to some dude I've never seen or met before I just sent her a text "We're done". Then I removed every shred of her existence from my life. Physical and virtual.

 

After that I took her back after a few weeks of pleading and crying on her side, and the problems continued, all though no more SM guess work was involved.

 

Relationships should be easy, a source of energy not a sink. If you invest more into the RS than you're getting from it, it's time to cut your losses.

[Phoe]

This happened to me with an ex

 

Turned out, yes, he was pretending to be single, and he was cheating on me. When I found out and confronted him, he instantly dumped me. Absolute disaster

[Leigh 87]

He just isn't that into you I am afraid. A man who is into you won't change his profile picture to him and a friend and then just tell you " oh, it was just an inside joke we share"

 

I wouldn't tolerate it from my long distance guy. It is playing games! Nor would he tolerate me posting a profile pic of me and another guy. Who does that when they are into someone and want things to work out between them?

 

He is definitely not that into you but he wants to keep you around as a back up option if he cannot find anyone he truly likes.

 

He is not getting rid of you because he wants to have sex with you and get cuddles and nice treatment from you while he searches for a woman he really wants to be with.

 

He is a coward and is too pissweak to just be straight with you and to have the decency to let you go so you can get over him and find a man who adores you.

 

You won't leave your "boyfriend" though and I am sure you will allow yourself to be strung along because you ant to believe that he feels the same way about you - as you do him.... It is call projection.. you have probably heard of it.. you are projecting your feelings onto him, you are tyring to convince yourself that your feelings for him are MUTUAL.

 

He is showing you without a doubt that his feelings for you are NOT mutual.

[emi]

You better dump him before he pulls the trigger