A Break

[okcool]

Hey all,

 

I've been in this relationship with this girl for about a month and a half. Everything went great and we clicked really well from the beginning. I'm not gonna lie, because of how much we clicked, things moved really fast Faster than I experienced before. It's only been a month and a half and we basically already decided that we love each other. We bot agree that the feelings are there and we do see us ending up together.

 

Anyway, long story short - she feels like we've been occupied with each other that she needed some space for her self. She said she needed a week away from me (from talking everyday since we live 2 hours from each other). I told her that I feel like it's a break up and she said that it isn't and everything is fine. We talked before the break and she said she loves me right before we hang up but basically we aren't able to contact each other (she said occasional good night texts are fine).

 

Am I overthinking this whole thing? Should I treat this like a break up? She is currently sick and having that time of the month. Could that be the reason why?

 

I'm so used to talking to her 24/7 and I am missing her. What should I do? Every time I look at the phone, I want to call her and I can't. This is why I feel like it's a real break up.

 

Should I try to hit her up in several days? Should I even send her a good night text tonight?

 

Any suggestions?

 

Thank you in advance.

[FitChick]

Wait for her to contact you. In the meantime go places and do things so you have something interesting to talk about.

[umirano]

After getting out of a 2 year LDR with a girl in your age range (assuming) my best advice is, don't get in touch until she does.

 

She may react pissed but it will show her, your time is valuable too. Maybe you won't be able to be tough. When you reach out to her you're teaching her she can do with you and your feelings, i.e. ask you to put your feelings and needs on hold, whenever she pleases. Do you want her to learn that?

 

You're in the position of need (the reacher) and she's in the position of the settler. This dynamic will not pay out for you in the long run, heck not even in the middle run.

 

Now you're at the beginning of the RS. It's an opportunity to set the ground rules.

[okcool]

Thanks for the great advices.

 

We still follow each other on Facebook and Instagram. Should I show her that I'm sad or should I just show her that I don't care?

 

Not gonna lie, today was the first day we did this and I am really missing her. We would call each other before bed and say good morning to each other. I didn't send her a good night text also.

 

She accidentally called me last night - I picked up and there was no one so I called back in which she rejected. I sent her a text asking if she called. She said "no" so I sent her a screen shot of her calling. She said "sorry, must be an accident" and I just left it at that without replying.

 

We had made plans before about going somewhere either on Tuesday or Thursday. When we last spoke, she said "maybe" to those plans. Should I even bring it up when those days come?

[umirano]

Don't call, don't text, don't make any posts directed at her openly or inderectly. Do nothing that can be read as you trying to communicate with her. Just disappear.

 

You must see that she's checked out to an alarming degree if she doesn't even want to talk to you on the occasion of an accidental call.

 

And there's the possibility she's playing a head game with you. Give in and you will get what you're asking for. More head games. It'll fnck with your sanity in no time.

 

Walking seems like a really good option to me at this point. I'm not in your shoes, and I know you're in shock probably. But this RS is already a train wreck. You should walk. Definitely.

[GemmaUK]

Talking/texting 24/7 is exhausting and becomes very boring if you also have a life and other things to do.

 

 

Give her space and she will likely come back.

She needs a break after which she will re-set boundaries of communication so that both of you can find a happy medium whilst still being able to live your lives.

 

 

Leave the idea of meeting for now.

She needs some time to catch up with herself and kick back and relax as well.

If you are in her face too soon and too available it will just show her that you don't respect her and take her seriously.

[evanescentworld]

Thanks for the great advices.

 

We still follow each other on Facebook and Instagram. Should I show her that I'm sad or should I just show her that I don't care?

 

Not gonna lie, today was the first day we did this and I am really missing her. We would call each other before bed and say good morning to each other. I didn't send her a good night text also.

 

She accidentally called me last night - I picked up and there was no one so I called back in which she rejected. I sent her a text asking if she called. She said "no" so I sent her a screen shot of her calling. She said "sorry, must be an accident" and I just left it at that without replying.

 

We had made plans before about going somewhere either on Tuesday or Thursday. When we last spoke, she said "maybe" to those plans. Should I even bring it up when those days come?

 

I think she will break up with you.

You sound needy, clingy and desperate, and I think she probably became overwhelmed with all the attention you were heaping on her.

 

How old are you both (I really hope we're talking teens or 'just out of', here.....!)...?

 

Either way, I actually think this is pre-split strategy.

 

She may well have only wanted a break before - now, when she sees that you are persistent in wanting to still stay connected, she is in all probability going to ramp it up to a break-UP.

 

Brace yourself.....

[JaneDoe12]

As it's already been said, fight the urge to contact her and don't do anything. Try to go out and focus on things of your interest and wait for her to reach out. Showing her you are not dependent on her will only make you more attractive in her eyes, trust me. I've been in a relationship where I was codependent and I know how unattractive I looked. You won't want that.

[okcool]

We are both in our mid 20's.

 

We just sound young because this is our first semi long distance relationship. We both live about 2 hours away from each other.

 

This whole thing seems so weird to me because it is long distance. I'm not used to having something like this. Within the past month and a half, we actually put a lot of effort into seeing each other. We would basically do it at least once a week and more if that.

 

Another thing is, I never felt I love someone as much as her. Of course, I've had my first love back in my teen years and went through that first break up - but when with this current one, I feel like everything is perfect and she feels the same way.

 

She took me to meet her family a while ago, and she said she doesn't just do that with anyone because her family is a big part of her life.

 

During the last talk before the "break", I told her I love her and she said she loves me too. Should I take this as a sign and I shouldn't be worried while we are not in contact?

[evanescentworld]

We are both in our mid 20's.

 

We just sound young because this is our first semi long distance relationship.

No - SHE doesn't sound young, you do. And sadly with implied youth, comes emotional immaturity.

I hate to sound harsh, but honestly, in emotional matters you're about 3 years behind her. Women tend to mature far more quickly in this area.

She's dating someone who (emotionally) is really too young for her....

 

This whole thing seems so weird to me because it is long distance. I'm not used to having something like this. Within the past month and a half, we actually put a lot of effort into seeing each other. We would basically do it at least once a week and more if that.

 

Another thing is, I never felt I love someone as much as her. Of course, I've had my first love back in my teen years and went through that first break up - but when with this current one, I feel like everything is perfect and she feels the same way.

No, she obviously doesn't or she wouldn't have sought a break....

 

 

During the last talk before the "break", I told her I love her and she said she loves me too. Should I take this as a sign and I shouldn't be worried while we are not in contact?

I'm sure she does love you. Maybe not in the way you think though.

Just ease off, back away, leave her be, and let her get in touch with you, first.

[justwhoiam]

She is mature? She called her boyfriend accidentally and decided to play dumb about it. Then admitted to it being a mistake but had to answer by text, because she made a resolution not to talk to him for a while.

 

Ask any girlfriend if she would accept that behavior from their boyfriend, and most answers would be a definite: NO.

[umirano]

She took me to meet her family a while ago, and she said she doesn't just do that with anyone because her family is a big part of her life.

That means pretty much nothing. I've seen this phrase tossed around more than I care to.

 

If she invites you to a big family dinner tomorrow I'll eat my own words. Otherwise you should get comfortable with the idea that she already forgot she took you to her family.