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How often do you communicate with your SO?


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In a long distance relationship, how often do you guys talk to each other?

 

My LD boyfriend recently said he thinks we contact each other too often, which was a little hurtful when I heard it. We do message/email everyday and text throughout the day too sometimes...we also Skype every other evening. Is this too much?

What does everyone else do?

Thanks in advance.

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sdrawkcaB ssA

I understand your feelings... I think he does not realize how his words seem to you. I have been that way a few times, not knowing myself. Mostly in being careful not to make her feel I am expecting too much of her in our relationship. Being worried that she needs space sort of thing.

 

Gosh, there has been times when I sent txt messages and emails like crazy, but it was our first year of being in love. Plus chatting was not much but a few IM and some voice clips.

 

After that year, we had moved into voice chats and more emails, with IM still in between. Roughly about 1 to 2 IM M-F 3 to 5 Emails through the week.

 

Now that we have full understandings and know deeply how we feel. My emails have been less wordy, and txt messages random. We now have grown into video chats with IM being for most of our contact.

 

It is not how much you send back in forth on a daily manner, it is what you send and how you spend your time together.

 

Sure I could be the way I was in our first year, but my LDR needs personal time, and does not need for me to show I am as interested as she is. We can feel at ease that we can communicate our deep love without need to send messages when we are having our lives separated.

 

PS... I take the time to send good night emails, and some good morning ones just because I feel like it. So my wee various emails are more like txt messages just have a bit more to them and are not distracting.

Edited by sdrawkcaB ssA
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Communication is key, so I would want to communicate (text/email) daily.....especially in an LDR.

 

I'm not in an LDR, but have been in the past and we spoke daily. In my current relationship we speak daily. I prefer to speak daily in any relationship I'm in.

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how often do you guys talk to each other?
Every day.

 

My LD boyfriend recently said he thinks we contact each other too often, which was a little hurtful when I heard it. We do message/email everyday and text throughout the day too sometimes...we also Skype every other evening. Is this too much?
I don't know. Our Skype accounts are always on, so that communication is costless. We use the chat feature throughout the day, from when he wakes up till when he goes to bed. And we speak when we can, usually at least once a day. But I'm not pressing. When he's at work, we can go 4 hours without any message, if he's in meetings or very busy. We're are aware of each other's schedules beforehand. We can also go one day without talking if it gets difficult, but it's a rare thing.
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I prefer old style dating where you didn't need to be told what they were having for lunch and you would catch up when you saw each other.

This was local dating.

 

LD for me has been waaay too much pressure with daily and then all day texts from 5.30am until midnight plus emails and him wanting a phone a call for an hour or two each day.

 

I could not keep up.

I got drained and exhausted. And really bored, had nothing to talk about.

I started going grey! It's stopped now thankfully!

I quit the RS. I was always in the wrong. He was insecure, needy, controlling and emotionally abusive.

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I've been in an LDR for about 3.5 years now and we communicate via text every single day. Some days we text constantly back and forth, other days it's more low key but we always are in touch at some point every day. I think that's very important - I don't agree with the "don't communicate for 2-3 days with your LD partner so you have more to talk about when you do chat" which I've read over and over on multiple different LDR advice websites. I think that's bull IMHO. I would go nuts if I didn't hear from him for that long hehe. And it's not like my entire world revolves around him when he's away - because that CAN be unhealthy, but I definitely like the piece of mind knowing that he's okay - even if it's one or two texts.

 

As for vid chatting - we do this on average 3-4 times per week depending. Sometimes more, sometimes less - it depends on what we both have going on but we never miss an entire week without vidding.

 

What determines too much? I don't think there's such a thing, especially in an LDR (as long as the texts aren't constantly "where are you's and what are you doing's")...it's what is comfortable for the both of you and what works for your relationship that matters.

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I definitely like the piece of mind
From what you wrote, I guess you don't need another piece of mind, so I guess you meant 'peace' of mind :)
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Frank2thepoint

When I was in a LDR, we texted and talked on the phone daily. We Skyped for two hours once a week. We both liked the frequency and amount we communicated.

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In 2 weeks DH will be going away for 6 weeks for business. He will be about 3-4 hours (depending on traffic) away. We'll only see each other on weekends. We will both text good morning or have a nice day or something when we wake up & we'll have about a 1/2 hour phone conversation in the evening before bed. We may or may not "like" each other's stuff on FB while he's away; he'll probably "check in" at various unusual places.

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Michelle ma Belle

I'm one of those people who thinks communication is paramount in any healthy and happy relationship and especially in LDR.

 

My partner and I talk on the phone EVERY NIGHT even if it's just a quick good night call. We even text through out the day to check in or share some news we can't wait to tell them. We don't Skype quite as often as before (which was several times a week) only because the time between our visits are getting shorter and shorter and we have grown to love the anticipation ;)

 

Sometimes staying in constant communication can have it's drawbacks. Coming up with long, heartfelt, interesting and satisfying conversations can be challenging when you've pretty much said all that you wanted to say earlier through emails or texts. Or perhaps not much as happened in the last 24 hours to warrant a marathon chat.

 

I think you need figure out what YOU need and discuss it with your man. It's okay to go into this knowing that not every chat needs to be an epic endeavor as long as you still convey the same thoughts and feelings and emotions in other ways. At the same time, I think it's important that if you choose this route, to be sure to devote at least one or two days/nights where you DO spend some good time to catch up on each other's lives.

 

It can be stressful to have to be a chatterbox and on ALL THE TIME, especially for men.

 

It's about quality of your conversations more than it is about the quantity that is most important.

 

Good luck.

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