skimo96 Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 We met online about 5 years ago. Have prettymuch been best friends ever since. He's in Florida and Im in Ohio. We havent met. A year ago, we both admitted that we had feelings for eachother. I always knew that I loved him, but the way I loved him developed from a friendship to romantic. Around the June he became very distant from me. Wouldnt respond to my texts often,he just seemed distant. At that point I was freaking out. I asked him about it and he insisted it was work related. They lost a guy at work so he was basically doing double duty and rarely checked his phone. Fair enough I guess, but who doesnt have 2 minutes to say they were busy/sorry? Now its to the point that he wont respond to me at all. This has been going on for 2-3 months. Now I KNOW you're probably jumping to conclusions thinking that theres another girl. but honestly I dont believe that. He texted me around a month ago saying that he insanely busy and he thinks it would just be best if I moved on for now, but he would always be my friend. What does that even mean? We made plans to be together. Our futures involved eachother. At the very least, he would give me closure and explain wwhats going on. but he didnt. What exactly is your take on this? And how do you think I can get him to talk to me? Because Ive tried everything and he has ignored me and its honestly killing me. My last resort would be contacting his sister on facebook..I dont want to do that but I feel like it might me the only way for me to get through to him, because he cant ignore her forever. Link to post Share on other sites
kolleamm Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I'm sorry to hear that but unfortunately I don't think it is going to workout between the two of you. Perhaps he lost his attraction for you or perhaps however unlikely you believe it is that he found another girl. You said it's been around 2-3 months? Don't chase this guy anymore he is clearly in his own world. Another problem I see however is that you guys were friends for 4 years before you started being in a relationship or talking to each other on a romantic level. That is never really a good sign, attraction takes effect much faster than that even if you two are both really shy you should not have to wait so long. My question to you is this : Do you believe you are attractive? If so what's stopping you from meeting someone else. Really take a second to think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyHonesty Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 It's simple, you guys took too long to meet in person so he's decided to no longer invest. This either occurs consciously or unconsciously and usually its one person that pulls away. Also, the longer you continue talking and professing your love online, the more a fantasy builds up and eventually, neither can live up to each others fantasy in reality if they were to meet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 First things first, you need to stop trying to get him to talk to you. You simply cannot make someone want to speak to you. Do not contact his sister. What on earth would you even say to her? He has told you he doesn't wish to continue any romantic involvement, and you are not respecting his choice. If you start contacting his family, you are likely going to have the very opposite effect of what you want - he will probably ask his family not to respond to you either, and he may ask them to block you. Trust me on this, it's a bad move. Second, while hurtful, he is within his rights to end this. It is possible he's met someone local, or that he simply doesn't want to invest any longer in a long-distance friendship. Closure doesn't come from him. It comes from you. He's already made his decision. I know it's very painful, but sooner or later you'll begin to move on. It will happen slowly, but eventually, you will feel okay again. Third, as I'm sure many others here will advise, don't over-invest in someone you've never met. Unless and until you meet in person, I wouldn't even consider a future with them. It's not healthy for you to make all kinds of future plans without having spent any time together offline. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 He texted me around a month ago saying that he insanely busy and he thinks it would just be best if I moved on for now, but he would always be my friend. What does that even mean? I think he has met someone else and doesn't want to tell you because he doesn't want to hurt you. He finds it easier to not respond and you will eventually get the hint. Some people are terrible with confrontations. LDR are very hard and you guys have never even met in person. If a woman close to him has sparked his interest it would be hard for him to turn her down when she is right there which you aren't. A person has needs you know. I wouldn't go chasing after him because he already knows you want to talk. It is up to him to man up and get in touch with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
blugirl Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 (edited) He texted me around a month ago saying that he insanely busy and he thinks it would just be best if I moved on for now, but he would always be my friend. What does that even mean? I'm sorry but this is a diplomatic way of telling you to leave him alone cause he's not interested in you anymore. Even though he didn't make it sound harsh, when someone tells you they "would always be your friend", it means they want to break the contact. Can't you see it? I'm guessing he found a girl locally and doesn't want to break it off by telling you about it just to avoid all the drama. Edited October 9, 2014 by blugirl Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 (edited) Now I KNOW you're probably jumping to conclusions thinking that theres another girl. but honestly I dont believe that. He texted me around a month ago saying that he insanely busy and he thinks it would just be best if I moved on for now, but he would always be my friend. There could possibly be another woman. You are a thousand miles away and can't possibly know what's going on in his life and the fact that he's been distant, gives you zero glimpse into the affairs of his life. It's a reality you need to accept. He's possibly hiding behind the excuse of being busy. He's hinting for you to move on because he possibly 1) has lost interest 2) is involved with someone else 3) doesn't want to invest anymore. We made plans to be together. Our futures involved eachother. It's rather impossible to maintain and nurture something like this -- in 5 years you both haven't even met? How does anyone go that long functioning on a virtual relationship. It's just unrealistic. And how do you think I can get him to talk to me? Because Ive tried everything and he has ignored me and its honestly killing me. He asked you to move on. You can't squeeze blood from stone. You have to accept that he is closing the door. That's your closure. My last resort would be contacting his sister on facebook..I dont want to do that but I feel like it might me the only way for me to get through to him, because he cant ignore her forever. Don't do this. It's not as if he's disappeared and you are worried. He's told you to move on. I would suggest you don't contact his family because it could possibly backfire and cause you more hurt. Edited October 9, 2014 by Zahara Link to post Share on other sites
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