Aldwyn Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 (edited) So me and my boyfriend have been together for 8months or so and he is working as a tree planter. We communicate 1-2x for 30mins(max) a week and we have skype twice last month because he couldn't get a good connection. He doesn't text or never look at his phone so he rarely text or I get a reply 12hours later. I do want to talk and skype more but every time I tell him I want to communicate more, he usually manage to get a good connection and we talk for an hour on Skype but it doesn't last more than a week. I understand his job is very demanding but I find this lack of communication disturbing and I often ask myself is it worth it. I do love him and I don't want to be clingy so I try not to text him until he reply back and I often let him call me since I have no idea when he is off. What should I do Edited June 9, 2014 by Aldwyn Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 When do you plan to meet? Are you in two different countries? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aldwyn Posted June 9, 2014 Author Share Posted June 9, 2014 He told me we could meet up ''later'' on his next contract (He doesn't know when). When I ask him when does the current contract end so maybe I could go where he is (little vacation for me) his response : I don't know. But he ''should be'' coming back on September for class unless he decide he doesn't want to finish his last course for his certificate. We are 4,749km apart (~46h) Link to post Share on other sites
salmagundi Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 Hey Aldwyn, I was moved to respond because I am presently treeplanting in BC and carrying out a long distance relationship. He's making lame bs excuses. For one thing, planting camps are fairly regular, shifts schedules usually go something like 4 days on, one day off. So you should always know when your boyfriend will be in town for day off. That can sometimes change due to unforeseen circumstances, but generally every 5th day should be a day off. Me and my girlfriend always know when we'll skype that way. Also, planting companies run on fairly tight schedules and they always are able to estimate when contracts will finish within a couple of days. Sure, sometimes, things get bogged down, sometimes the trees go in the ground a little slower or a little faster but I have always known approximately when a contract will finish. This is because the contractor has fairly fixed deadlines to finish by and they also have start dates to respect for their next contracts. In BC generally all spring contract trees have to be planted by about the 21st of june. PLanters usually get a few days to a week off at this time before starting summer trees around the end of june. If he wanted you to visit, he would make it work...planters always know what to expect as far as downtime between contracts. As for his bad internet connection...we do spend days off in crappy small northern towns and the wifi service isn't always great but these days restaurants, truck stops, laundromats and small town public libraries all have wifi. If it doesnt work at one place there are always other options. If he wanted to skype with you he would make it work. I guess what I'm saying is he sounds like he's full of s**t. I hope I'm wrong but I've been doing this for 13 years and I have never had a problem with any of this myself and I have always been in a long distance relationship while planting... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 Hey Aldwyn, I was moved to respond because I am presently treeplanting in BC and carrying out a long distance relationship. He's making lame bs excuses. For one thing, planting camps are fairly regular, shifts schedules usually go something like 4 days on, one day off. So you should always know when your boyfriend will be in town for day off. That can sometimes change due to unforeseen circumstances, but generally every 5th day should be a day off. Me and my girlfriend always know when we'll skype that way. Also, planting companies run on fairly tight schedules and they always are able to estimate when contracts will finish within a couple of days. Sure, sometimes, things get bogged down, sometimes the trees go in the ground a little slower or a little faster but I have always known approximately when a contract will finish. This is because the contractor has fairly fixed deadlines to finish by and they also have start dates to respect for their next contracts. In BC generally all spring contract trees have to be planted by about the 21st of june. PLanters usually get a few days to a week off at this time before starting summer trees around the end of june. If he wanted you to visit, he would make it work...planters always know what to expect as far as downtime between contracts. As for his bad internet connection...we do spend days off in crappy small northern towns and the wifi service isn't always great but these days restaurants, truck stops, laundromats and small town public libraries all have wifi. If it doesnt work at one place there are always other options. If he wanted to skype with you he would make it work. I guess what I'm saying is he sounds like he's full of s**t. I hope I'm wrong but I've been doing this for 13 years and I have never had a problem with any of this myself and I have always been in a long distance relationship while planting... Exactly, thank you! He's either being super lazy or he's up to no good. Either way, he needs to sh*t or get off the pot regarding you and your relationship. Relationships are hard work at the best of times never mind when you're doing it long distance. LDR are challenging and it does take a bit more effort to stay connected until you can actually be together face to face but it is NOT impossible. There are countless couples on here who are making it work including me. The secret is that you BOTH have to want it. You can't be lazy in any relationship but especially in a LDR. What has worked for me is scheduling regular "dates" whether it's on Skype or just talking on the phone. Pick 2 or 3 or however many days you want/need to be connected and a time and schedule it as your time together. Everything else will just have to wait. This guarantees that you stay connected at least a few times a week. It also allows you to easily plan around those dates so you can still have a life instead of waiting by the phone waiting to hear from him. That's no way to live or how to exist in a relationship. Talk to him again about this and set up some kind of schedule BUT if he continues to flake out on you, the writing is on the wall with this guy and it's time to cut him loose. Don't sit around making excuses for him because you're just going to grow more frustrated and resentful. If he really wanted to stay connected with you, he would move mountains to stay connected. It's really that simple. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salmagundi Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 exactly...also, you need to know that one of the most common sayings in treeplanting is: "what happens in bush camp stays in bush camp..." Its not a good environment for fidelity, especially if he's a young planter... Link to post Share on other sites
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