HappyxFaith Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Hey everyone, I really need some advice because I'm feeling pretty heart broken right now. My boyfriend and I 3 months ago started our long distance relationship. He's been really busy lately with his job and always tired, and so I've been pulling the weight of the relationship for a while now. He told me today that he kind of felt like he loved me 'a little bit' like a sister. So we decided to take a break from each other, so he told me he's going to take a week to think about it. I told him I'm not going to talk to him at all this week, so he can think. I'm just gonna give him space. He said he just didn't know if feeling like this is normal or what not. Honestly, I think the reason he feels like that is because he hasn't been putting in really any effort on his own into our relationship for awhile.... I really feel like he's a wonderful guy, and I don't feel like our relationship has run its course yet, but if it has I'll accept it. Did any of you guys have this kind of experience? And if so what happened, and what did you do about it? Thanks everyone Link to post Share on other sites
David95 Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 I have been in an LDR for about 7 months now, so I wouldn't call myself an expert but I understand what he says. I've had this sometimes and I've noticed that it usually happens when the conversations get a bit monotone, about the same subjects, how was your day, etc. But if we aren't able to skype for a while, after that the conversations usually get going again and I realise how much I love her and how much I've missed her when we weren't able to skype. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HappyxFaith Posted March 23, 2014 Author Share Posted March 23, 2014 I have been in an LDR for about 7 months now, so I wouldn't call myself an expert but I understand what he says. I've had this sometimes and I've noticed that it usually happens when the conversations get a bit monotone, about the same subjects, how was your day, etc. But if we aren't able to skype for a while, after that the conversations usually get going again and I realise how much I love her and how much I've missed her when we weren't able to skype. So we talked about it. He said he doesn't feel much sexual attraction towards me because of some things that happened in the past between us. I am planning on taking a job opportunity in his area, and he thought that the only reason I was taking it was because of him, and so he said that was the main reason he started feeling like I was a sister. We've discussed being married before, and because of the "things" that happened in the past he felt like I was more like a little girl than a woman, hence his feelings.... But he told me he thinks that the physical attraction can come back and told me not to worry about it. And after he found out that I'm not going there solely because of him, he relaxed a lot, and told me he felt a lot better. He wants to keep dating me (we've been dating for a little more than a year) and see where this is headed. Because he said he thought of what life would be like without me, and he said it was so sad and pointless. Do you think that's smart of me? I just am not sure how to deal with this... Some things just sounds so conflicting... Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 He said he doesn't feel much sexual attraction towards me Let him pursue you. Make sure he does want you. If he doesn't or is not willing to put in any effort to show you or prove it to you, break up with him and let him go. It looks like he's used to your presence in his life, more like family though, aka his sister... Do not underestimate that, because the relationship wouldn't work. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 I don't know about this. This sounds like another case of a guy wanting to have his cake and eat it too. He wants you in his life but he isn't sexually attracted to you but he thinks it might return but don't move to his city for him but...can you see what I'm seeing? What do YOU want? Do you want to hang around endlessly like a hopelessly in love teenager while HE makes up his mind about you? Why does HE get to have all the control in your relationship? If my partner made a comment like that to me, as much as it would wound me deeply, I certainly wouldn't chase after him. I have way too much self respect for that kind of nonsense. I understand how painful it can be when one person falls out of love. And I certainly have no issue with staying friends and being amicable BUT I definitely wouldn't put my life on hold on the off chance his c**k might once again stiffen at the thought of me. Life is far too short for that and from my experience, once you're in the friend/family zone, there's no coming back from it any time soon. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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