bubbakush Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 I visited this board twice and I figured I would post because I have no idea what im doing anymore and trying to understand what she is doing. Some background info on us. We arnt together, I don't even know what to call it, but I have known her now for 6-8 years. She has had two boyfriend's and one she still with. More on the current one later. We are both 20 so yeah we met at like 14. I live in Pa, she is in canada. We have never met in person. Im in college and have completed all Associate degree courses in college for avaition electronics. I transfered in this year to the BAV program. So i have both the indept electronic skills and also the powerplant, engine skills. More on me. Parents divoresed at a very young age. I was never the popular type in school, we will leave that at that. I turned 20 in June and I have never hooked up with anyone. Not even a kiss on the cheek. Yes that bothers me alot. I do not think much of my apperance even though she says, or anybody, i am cute i can't believe her for some reason. I have never heard it said to my face either so that doesnt help me much. I dont think much of myself period. When I am in a group with people i feel like the odd ball all the time. I will probably add more to this section as i go along and write this call for help. about schooling...Im in college and have completed all Associate degree courses in college for aviation electronics. I transfered in this year to the BAV program. So i have both the indept electronic skills and also the powerplant, airframe skills. More on her. Now this is going to be biased obviously because it IS my point of view of her and what she has told me. She was never the popular type in school either, parents divorced. She is off and on about her apperance. She is 5' 0" (im 5' 6"), and i guess the best word to use is thick lol, but i love it. She's amazing. I can use all type of adjectives and i would still be here all day. The first b/f she had she totally fell for him. Was with him for about 2yrs i dont really know. Enough to have his initials tattooed.. He was into pot and drinking so that got her into it to. I got into it around the same time but we both dont do either anymore. Then she got tired of it i guess and hurt him. So that was over with. She still misses him not so much anymore since the recent phone call (hes still drinking, pot, going nowhere). This new guy was the fall back guy. I guess he was the "nice guy" in the begining then turned out to be a real a**h***. At this point i started talking to her more often and she would come online crying late at night like 2am and i helped her get through it. So we got talking more and more and if i txt msg'ed her or something while he was with her he would go off. He broke the dashboard in her car. Always starts fights and has been arrested? Understandable I guess i dont know at getting mad at me. So she supposidly broke up with him not to long ago from where we are today yet she spent all last week with him. I ask what she is doing and she doesnt even know. I mean this guy must have a long dong or doing something right. It just really frustrates me that some douche bag like this guy is with her...and i guess its jelousy. On us. She doesnt like me the way i like her..no where near it. I would give it all away just to be with her. I make her laugh and smile all the time i just dont know what is so bad about me that NONE of the opposite sex is interested in me that way at all. When I think about her which is pretty much all day i dont think about lustful thoughts...its just about doing things together, being together. We used to talk almost everyday back when all the stuff was happening with this guy now we hardly talk at all (once a week) which is too long for me. I know im probably trying way to hard but I cant let her slip away...not this one. I wish everyday she would change her mind and say come visit me. I leave msgs for her on her phone before she goes to work to let her know i care just everythign i can do from a distance to treat her like a princess which is what she diserves. I almost feel like she ignores me sometime and i dont like that again i just wish she would see me like i see her i guess. I try my best not to keep mentioning how much i care about her because i think that...well i dont know what it does to her i think it gets her angry. Im so worried someone is going to come along and swoop her away when we havent even met in person. Not to sound concieted but i know if we met in person i know everything would hook up. I figured it would be time to post since i cried myself to sleep last night because all hope i have for doing anything with myself is dangling on a thread. Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 I know exactly how you feel; how hard it is to love someone who lives so far away, and to want nothing more than to be with them. I am in love with a guy who lives in England, and even though I have never met him in person, I want to be with him more than anything, and have for the past 3 years. He's my best friend and the most important person in my life. I'm not very popular either, I don't have many friends in school and I've never gotten anywhere with a guy. I guess that's why I fell so hard for a guy that lives so far away. I don't want you to feel like you're the only person out there who "hasn't hooked up" with anyone. Don't dislike yourself for that, sooner or later the right girl for you will come along and you'll be happy that you didn't hook up with anyone else. And who knows, maybe the perfect girl for you is the girl you're in love with, the one that is far away. Maybe instead of asking her to come visit you, you should see if you can make a trip up there to see her. If you know you love her, go see her and find out if she loves you, too. And if you can't do that, sit down and write her a letter, tell her everything you said in your post, let her know exactly how you feel and how much you want to be with her. I believe that love can conquer anything, even thousands of miles of distance between two people. If you really want to be with her, try your hardest. But if it turns out that she doesn't return your feelings, don't dwell on it. Don't waste your life on what could have been. Go out, meet new people, make new friends, and the perfect girl for you will come along when you least expect it. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 What both you folks need to do is work however many jobs you need to get the $ to go see your sweeties. There are seat sales you can get - you just have to keep an eye out for them. I hate to be a huge drip, but there are people who thought they were madly in love at a distance only for it to go poof when they met in person. You need to see if proximity enhances or eliminates your feelings - and you need to do it before more years pass. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubbakush Posted July 12, 2004 Author Share Posted July 12, 2004 Thanks for the responses i really appreciate them. This doesnt really have anything to do with anything and im not a believer in fate but.. Recently i purchased a car part and now 3 weeks later i had to reverse the charges on it...so now i have 1k to spend and a choice to make. I really dont want to mention meeting her again. She likes to be independant and in control of her life...and others. I honestly (not to sound concieted) think she is afraid that if i visit it will change things in her life. "I hate to be a huge drip, but there are people who thought they were madly in love at a distance only for it to go poof when they met in person." I need to find out because i cant stand it anymore. If that happens so be it we will still be friends till the end. just curious...honey2005 does he return those same feelings to you? Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Yeah, he does. At least he says he does, and I really believe him. Good luck, I hope things work out for you!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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