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Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 23rd June 2004, 10:43 PM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Dublin
Posts: 132
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Im new here but i would imagine a thread like this has been done before, i just dont care to look for it.

Anyway, the LDR im in is seemingly nothing compared to what the rest of you are going through because we only live 4 hours away (drive) and so some of you might not sympathise. but my problem is that sometimes i feel like im the only contributor.

While her mother is more than happy to let me up to stay with my g/f, she never lets her come to see me. Weve been together about 11 months now and shes only been to my town a handfull of times. Only one of those times it was solely to be with me, every other time it was becasue she had something else to do and so seeing me was liek an "added bonus."

Every time that iv brought this up with her she explains that its because her mother is abit "psycho". I tell her that she doesnt stand her ground and argue the matter enough with her mother but she insists that she does. I know she doesnt because shes more intimidated by her mother than she lets on. It didnt bother me as muh before but its really starting to bug me.

The issue is sooner or later going to come to a head in the form of an arguement and as much as i want some sort of compromise i dont want to lose my temper with her.
We really dont see eye to eye on this so how can i/we fix it without me losing my head over it. (keeping in mind that sitting down and "talking about it" wont work because we dont see eye to eye)

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Old 24th June 2004, 12:44 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 1,043
Long distance relationships are hard on a lot of people, but both need to give ALOT to make one work. Maybe she has tried her hardest to convince her mom to let her come see you, but then again, maybe you're right and she hasn't. But you can't force her to press her mom if she really is intimdated by her. That just wouldn't be right. Maybe dealing with her mom is a completely different issue that you've got to look into. You need to talk to her about how you feel, though. But try to keep it from turning into an argument. Just let her know that you really care about her and you want to see more of her. If her mom won't let her come see you much, go up there and see her. Win her mother over with charm, and maybe she will allow her daughter to come spend time with you more often.
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