Jump to content

In Real Love with a Charming Japanese Woman


Recommended Posts

First off, thanks for reading through and giving your time to participate. Very appreciated.

 

And yes, that's true. I fell in love with her in a blink, and it slowly started to grow. First we met through internet and then started chating through LINE (smartphone app similar to skype). Until that point, there was nothing to say but exchange few lines ect.. Actually her main motive in contacting me was to communicate with a French language speaker, and also my motive was to find a Japanese friend somewhere out of where I live (Osaka). I wasn't looking for love, really.

 

However, I went to visit Tokyo after two weeks. So guess we met for a nice dinner in the splurge district of Akasaka. Personally, I think we had great quality times, even though she brought her nice friend, I could feel she wasn't with us that night. Later on, I realized this woman is quite different than those I meet on a daily basis, or the ones I met in the past. Now I think she is a woman that I was looking for a long time. Being a picky guy, I think I have to say, finally found one to love for real.

 

Now, things are going great. She definitely has interest in me as well. I always leave her really nice sweet messages and she always welcomes them. She always worries about me (which I think is very sweet). I reckon it's safe to say that we are in good terms and now I'm considering her my girlfriend. Although I'm very patient in throwing the 'I love you' line. She is very special to me, and I just don't wanna say it to her through internet.

 

So, at present, I'm planning to visit her again. I have 5 days break next June.

But prior, I want her to feel that I love her more than anything else but I'm not sure exactly what to do to show her that. Any suggestions?

 

I was thinking to send her a nice gift over to her office. But I really don't know her office address and I'm still hesitating to ask her. Do you think It's alright to ask her? I'm not sure if she can tolerate such private thing already.

 

Anyone would recommend me a great way to make her very special? I love her indeed and I want her to know that very well.

 

By the way, I'm 25 and she is 24. Basically we are not kids anymore. I'm indeed planning my future according to her now. I want to settle down with her and make her my woman till the end. I'm not talking about marriage but I think spending a reasonable period together and then move out to Tokyo, it could be possible for me to ask her for such. But indeed, I'm seeing her in my future and I'd like to keep her.

 

Thank you for your feedback.

 

Juri,

Edited by Kimi1184
Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm indeed planning my future according to her now. I want to settle down with her and make her my woman till the end.

 

I think it is sweet that you love and cherish her so much... however, you didn't quite write much about her feelings towards you? Do you think she is as much into you as you are into her? Just asking, not saying that this is the case.

 

BUT listen, I think it is important that you realize that you are your own person and at age 25 it sounds a bit impulsive to 'plan your future according to her'. That's not good. Plan your future according to yourself.

 

I was 25 once and I planned my future according to someone else. Then I moved to their country/city and they left me shortly after, and I was left with nothing. It's very risky, especially if the relationship is still young, and you both are so young.

 

Don't overdo it with the gifts. You will see her in June. Let the relationship prosper slowly and in a healthy way. Time will tell.

I understand you are head over heals, but what you describe just doesn't sound that healthy.

 

Good luck!

Link to post
Share on other sites

When is she coming to visit you? If you go there all the time, it's too easy for her. If this became serious, you'd have the stress of marriage and immigration to deal with, which is difficult for the most dedicated couples. Would she move to your country? Would you move to Japan? You need to investigate further. Right now you are her gaijin friend.

Link to post
Share on other sites
bob the brave

Whoa tiger! Sllllooooowwww dooowwwnn.

 

lamaga has some good advice. There is no way in hell you can know someone and plan a life in that short amount of time. Believe me!

 

Follow lamaga's advice.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
I think it is sweet that you love and cherish her so much... however, you didn't quite write much about her feelings towards you? Do you think she is as much into you as you are into her? Just asking, not saying that this is the case.

 

I think she is into me more than I'm into her. That could maybe summarize everything. She is very honest with me and she don't play games (like most Japanese girls do). at the very beginning (after I came back from Tokyo), she told me I wish if we could celebrate our birthdays together next year, and she was the first to ask me if I have a girlfriend, ect.., she is the one that always take beautiful shots of flowers and sunsets and send them to me...

(If those hints are not enough, well what it could be? She very shy though, I think her doing that, makes it even more clear.

 

BUT listen, I think it is important that you realize that you are your own person and at age 25 it sounds a bit impulsive to 'plan your future according to her'. That's not good. Plan your future according to yourself.

Of course, I would plan my future according to mine. But involving someone else that you see is very important to you makes worth to work harder for it.

I've always wanted to live in Tokyo anyways, so I was planning to move in there sooner or later, with her or without her. The sooner I finish my business in Osaka I'll start a life in Tokyo and I really want to start this life with her.

 

I was 25 once and I planned my future according to someone else. Then I moved to their country/city and they left me shortly after, and I was left with nothing. It's very risky, especially if the relationship is still young, and you both are so young.

I'm sorry to hear about that. Yes true, it's very risky but, if it's real love and if this girl loves me for real, there is no way for her to leave me unless I do. 25 years old is not young. I believe it's the age to start looking for someone to end up with. We already had the fun of high school and university and I'm tired of having short stint relations with women. I want to be more stable. I don't think it's that complicated to be together if we want to.

 

Don't overdo it with the gifts. You will see her in June. Let the relationship prosper slowly and in a healthy way. Time will tell.

I understand you are head over heals, but what you describe just doesn't sound that healthy.

I didn't send or give her nothing yet. Just words.

I'm not going to buy something expensive but yes, something memorable would do it. I just want to see her happy. I'm also (just part of being a gentleman) planning to buy her mother a small birthday gift as well (she did tell me her mother had birthday last weekend). I won't of course send it to her, but when we will meet, I'll give that as well. I want her mother to know that her daughter is dating a great guy and not just a creepy selfish one just looking for short term relation based on sex and lust.

 

What you think?

Edited by Kimi1184
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
When is she coming to visit you? If you go there all the time, it's too easy for her. If this became serious, you'd have the stress of marriage and immigration to deal with, which is difficult for the most dedicated couples. Would she move to your country? Would you move to Japan? You need to investigate further. Right now you are her gaijin friend.

 

She wants to visit me. We didn't meet for a second time yet. She is very busy Japanese girl. She has never been to Osaka. I believe she will once she will know how much I like her. But for the time being, It won't do any harm if I visit her first.

 

I don't think signing few papers to approve your marriage is that complicated. Here in Japan is different than in the west. Marriage is just something trivial. And I don't mind going through the trouble if I indeed love her ;).

 

I'm already in Japan. I live here, and I want to stay her forever. I decided that before I even met her. I've always wanted to marry a Japanese girl and live her. Maybe her gaijin BF. I don't think she considers a friend at all with all her attitude towards me. It's a love love thing, which is great.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It would be sweet to send her a small gift. Nothing huge and overblown, but thoughtful.

 

That being said, you REALLY need to rethink the 'marriage is something trivial' bit. The signing of the papers is trivial - the impact on your life is NOT. Hold your horses there, dude, and get to know her for at least a couple of years first. You're 25, for pete's sake.

 

If you already live in Japan, why are you not seeing each other more before planning your life around her? Domestic flights aren't horribly expensive. Japan isn't that large. Osaka to Tokyo should take no more than a couple of hours. Some people do move to be with their partner after relatively few visits, but those people have no CHOICE because they live thousands of miles and international flights apart. You do have that choice. Take it.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Be prepared to meet the parents if she really likes you. I don't know the Japanese custom that much but since I'm born in South, Korea there are some similarities.

 

You will probably have to show you are not in financial debt. You will have prove your worth to them. You might get lucky and they might be very relaxed but still they will expect high standards. This of course depends if they are modern or traditional.

 

I wouldn't do the gifts too much other than a little gift for appreciation. Like the other poster stated take it slow.

 

Yes, I know. Meeting her parents it's an obvious step. I have no financial debt at the moment and I'm starting all from scratch. I'm not rich, I even consider myself poor at the moment, but I don't think that will be an issue.

 

I'm taking it slow still. Now we are together since 3 months. I never said to her I love you or such (even though most of my friends tell me to do so). I think I'm also thinking more mature about it. She didn't receive any gift from me. So, after 3/4 months, I don't think it's bad to show her my feelings, I don't wanna look like a miser in this case.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
It would be sweet to send her a small gift. Nothing huge and overblown, but thoughtful.

 

That being said, you REALLY need to rethink the 'marriage is something trivial' bit. The signing of the papers is trivial - the impact on your life is NOT. Hold your horses there, dude, and get to know her for at least a couple of years first. You're 25, for pete's sake.

 

Hehehe, I'm not thinking to marry her next month, or even next year. Of course not. If we ever marry that will be after a long relationship and also until I make sure I have enough cash so I can support her. I'm not a novice ;). Why I'm planning to marry her or I want to marry her is because she is the type that I've always wanted to be with. And she is sweet and she speaks French ect...

A lot of reasons for me to consider something with her.

 

If you already live in Japan, why are you not seeing each other more before planning your life around her? Domestic flights aren't horribly expensive. Japan isn't that large. Osaka to Tokyo should take no more than a couple of hours. Some people do move to be with their partner after relatively few visits, but those people have no CHOICE because they live thousands of miles and international flights apart. You do have that choice. Take it.

I don't have money and time to do that. I'm taking it slow now. Visiting her every 2/3 months it's never a bad idea. And also makes our relation stronger. The more you miss a person the more you get attached to.

Link to post
Share on other sites

There is no problem with visiting every 2-3 months as long as you're not making your life decisions based on ONE meeting. I'm not just talking about marriage, I'm talking about this:

 

" I'm indeed planning my future according to her now. I want to settle down with her and make her my woman till the end. I'm not talking about marriage but I think spending a reasonable period together and then move out to Tokyo"

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
There is no problem with visiting every 2-3 months as long as you're not making your life decisions based on ONE meeting. I'm not just talking about marriage, I'm talking about this:

 

" I'm indeed planning my future according to her now. I want to settle down with her and make her my woman till the end. I'm not talking about marriage but I think spending a reasonable period together and then move out to Tokyo"

I don't think I said something wrong in that sentence. I illustrated that point in a reply earlier. Planning my future is always according to my expectations and not somebody's else. But including someone who is important for you is part of the fun. I love her, that's why I'm saying this. Of course we will meet again, and I'm sure I'll like her more.

:)!

Link to post
Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly

You've met her only once? Proceed with caution. I'm sure you realize the inherent risks in planning a future together when you don't really know her offline.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...