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Problem is with me or her ?


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Vandetta123

Hi guys, this is my first time posting.

Anyway I am really curious about my relationship. I am thinking whether is my problem or hers.

And the story goes like this:

 

We met in Australia and became couple for almost a year now. Due to her studies in her home country, she had to be there for a semester. Now the problem comes. In the first month when we are apart, it was alright, we talk n chat quite a few hours everyday. But as time past, we got busy and talk alot lesser. Because I am studying in Aus, studies are easy for me but not for her. She has a lot of assignment to do and project. I understand that, so when she is busy I will not disturb her. Give her time to finish up and I will always ask her to tell me when she has done studying. Normally she will finish her study at around 12 at her home country. So I always initiate to ask her to facetime/skype with me, but when we facetime, she would always stop her camera without showing her face. and giving excuses like she cant hold the phone properly. so we just talk verbally. I told her that I missed her and I want to see her. But it seems like it is hard for her to show it.

 

Furthermore, sometimes she make a whole day of free time for herself to relax for a bit. But she would watch drama and not talk to me. So I always waited her for the whole day and she would agreed to facetime with me during the night before sleep. And we would only chat for less than 3-5mins. and she would say she is tired and wants to sleep.

 

I don't know whether I am too "sticky" ? Should I give her time and wait for her to talk to me or initiate to facetime with me ? What should I do ? And is it my problem or her problem ?

 

FYI:

*All Facetime mentioned above last for less than 20mins. (20mins the most) Mostly 5-10mins, she would say she wants to sleep already.

 

*We quarrelled recently and I told her everything what I was not happy about and she say that I am not trying to understand her situation. And at last she ask me to think about this rs again whether to continue or not. and when I asked about her thoughts. She say "Shall find it out soon"

Edited by Vandetta123
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Seems like the pressure is getting to her with her studies. To be quite honest, you need to get that little spark back in her. Turn the tables. Get gone, be to busy for her. Let her contact you. Don't initiate it at all. She will be perplexed and it will shake her up a bit. Which to me, it seems that is what is needed. You are throwing yourself out there to her for whenever she wants to talk. What about you!? Like I said, get gone for a bit and watch her interest in speaking and opening up increase. Good luck.

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Vandetta123

Hi there, Thanks alot for replying.

Hmmm... Alright. Maybe I am too "sticky" that become stress for her too.

I will try to give her some space and let her initiate then.

Thanks ALOT

Hope everything will go well.

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senoritabonita

I don´t know if you´re "clingy"

it just seems you are more committed than she is. You obviously care alot more about the relationship than she does. I can´t comment as to why she is covering her face or why she doesn´t want to talk too much. I am the same way in my LDR. I would rather relax wiht a movie than have to talk to my bf on skype. It´s annoying to sit up and talk about things with a computer screen. I don´t think it is your fault but I think she´s not trying enough to keep things going. A relationship doesn´t just take one person to commit. You need to set her straight and tell her what you want. Chances are, judging by her actions, she won´t want to continue. If you are really dying for her, surprise her, go to her country!

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I am in the same situation with my boyfriend. He is busy with his life and I always have to initiate and trying to reach him. I know I just have to contact him less. Talking everyday actually makes it harder to cope with the distance.

 

You said studies are not so easy for her. She must be under pressure and very stressful.So when she is like that, she probably wants somebody next to her, not just looking into a computer screen and talks because it is not enough to make her feel better.

 

There is no problem, not you, not hers. Even couples who see each other everyday also have these kind of issues.

 

It's hard I know. But let her alone sometimes, she will initiate when she is out of her studies pressures.

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