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Taking a break from sex when I am about to get back?


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Alright, so here is the situation, my girlfriend and I are absolutely in love and both of us know this. I've been away at college the entire year (approximately 9 months) and since then we've only had sex 5 times, we waited awhile to have sex. Here I am about to come home from college and have a great summer together and all of the sudden she brings up in a conversation about how she thinks we should take a break from sex and really talk, watch movies, and hangout with each other. (which we already do when I am home because we just started having sex) Now if I was home and we were having sex too much I would understand that she wants to make sure I love her for her and not just her body, but I am not even home, we talk quite a lot because that's all we got in a long distance relationship. I don't understand how she could ask for a break from sex when we don't and haven't really done it. Sorry this seems a bit confusing but hopefully I can get some constructive feedback, thanks in advance.

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Oh buddy .. I hope I'm wrong, but I'd say she's getting her share elsewhere and is uncomfortable having two lovers at once.

 

She's quite possibly undecided in which way to go, thus her stated want to spend time with you talking and whatever, she's probably conflicted emotionally, but sleeping with some other guy. She may well break off the sex with the other guy too during this time as she works out whats what in her mind.

 

On the other hand, you've been apart for a long time and and she may be simply uncertain of your relationship status .. things fade in LDR's its inevitable, and perhaps she's protecting herself by not wanting to get physical and cloud her mind with that.

 

Age might have a bearing too - how old are you both? If you are both very young then I'd side with the last possibility. But if she is late teens or early twenties I'd be looking around for the 'other' guy.

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We're both young, late teens, I am most certain she is not cheating on me and well...if you ask me how, I just know, I would know if that is the case.

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Whether she's cheating or not, it's a bad sign for the relationship. You may be mistaken about the "we're absolutely in love" part.

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A relationship without sex is just friendship.

 

Oh yes, my friend, it is.

 

Next thing she will ask for, is 'space'..... You wait.....

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Sorry. I don't agree with the rest of the posters.

 

The two of you have been apart for nine months. Even though you two may have stayed in touch "'remotely" all that time you haven't been together one-on-one. In many ways, it's like you're starting over.

 

My guess is you have been giving her the impression is that the only thing you're interested in when you see her is sex which is why she's telling you that she needs to be assured the only thing you've missed and the only thing you value about her is her body.

 

Men and women view sex differently. Generally, a man needs respect and admiration, to be needed physically; their need for sex tends to be an anywhere/anytime proposition.

 

On the other hand, women generally need understanding, love, to be needed emotionally before they have sex. In other words, their desire is cyclical and they need time to warm to the idea.

 

So bottom line, keep pushing your own agenda against her will when she is telling you she's not feeling secure in the relationship and you can kiss the relationship goodbye.

 

Best,

TMichaels

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From my experience in the LDR sex is seldom so you end up taking about it and sometimes the partner (my last partner) only wants to talk about sex.

 

It got old and sometimes made me think that I was just a distraction rather than a girlfriend.

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Don't talk about sex. You will have to rekindle the romance. Be affectionate, like give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek when you see her again. She will probably be expecting more. At the end of a date, hug her and maybe a quick peck on the lips. If she still likes you as more than a friend, she will be the one to escalate the touching, so follow her lead. Impromptu neck and back massages are nice. You have to make her want more.

 

Find a copy of the Kama Sutra (book) and mentally practice.

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i dont think she is cheating, she justs wants u two to spend quality time and not feel pressured into sex

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The two of you have been apart for nine months. Even though you two may have stayed in touch "'remotely" all that time you haven't been together one-on-one. In many ways, it's like you're starting over.

 

Concur with this. Especially as you had not really had much time to develop your R before you left for college. Time slows in a LDR, for some people.

 

How's the emotional affection part of your R going? Have you managed to rekindle that after the distance?

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