lisy Posted April 27, 2013 Share Posted April 27, 2013 I am expat living the other side of the world from my home. I moved here with my boyfriend and our little doughter to pursue my master degree. Our relationship wasn't happy before moving here so we kind of thought maybe it gets better if living in a new environment. Basically it was just hard for me to break up when have a child and it was easier to pursue something else exciting so that don't have to think about the relationship issue. Unfortunately life is just life everywhere and therefore I felt our relationship became even weaker here as all these long school and workdays tore as more apart. I think weak relationship for us means that there is nothing romantic or physical between us. So I met this other guy and fell in love deeply. I tried to meet him as often as I could and as my baby father is very good father then he always spent time with our child and I could leave home to do my own stuff. But my new love left the country in 2 months as he got a 4m job contract overseas. I understood his leaving decision perfectly as I was committed to my family at this time. But it appeared to be more hard for me to lose him than I expected and seemed that he was in the same situation. So we started talking every day and committed to get together when he comes back. Meanwhile I had more relationship talks with my current bf and it ended up him moving back to our home country with our child. He couldn't see separate lives so far from home. I had to follow him in half a year after finishing my stuff here and we were suppose to break up and share our child in our familiar home town. My new love told me he would move with me to my home country and start life with me there. At this time my new love got back here after being away 4m and we realized more and more that we want to be together. Unfortunately very soon he got a good job offer at the other side of US and he accepted the offer. I was very sad as it was a time for us to see how things would work out together while me being here without my family. Well I accepted that it is hard to find a job here and he left. We stayed in a relationship and continued planning his moving to my home country after some time from my leaving when he has saved enough money for that. We met once a month with this guy and were in LD relationship the rest of the time. But suddenly he told me he has decided not to leave his home country though he loves me very much. He said it is due to his family who he would miss too bad and that he is not ready to make the move. I am so sad about that. He tells me he loves me more than ever and that he thinks he was kind of hoping that i have a chance to stay here with him that he would move back here now as he know he made a big mistake accepting the second job offer away from me. I don't know what to think of it now. I am just so sad that we don't have a future. There is nothing I could do as I can't stay here because my child is in my homecountry and I can't just take her from her dad and bring here. It would be wrong as we never intend to move here permanently. It is not that I don't understand my guy to decide not to go. There is this unsolved thing with my family situation and it is a small country the other side of the world where he has never been. Also we practically have been only in LD relationship so far. And there are some difficult situations in his family that were the reason he brought up. To be honest I was kind of planning to do the same, to tell him that it won't work out as I actually haven't finished solving my child and his father break up issue. So it would be extremely hard to bring in new guy in so soon. But I love him very much and I wasn't ready to say anything yet and I am hurt that he came to the conclusion that I am not worth of this effort. So even if he actually didn't dump me (we still plan to meet) I feel like he did as now we know there is no future for us. Should I take it in a way that he doesn't love me enough or just accept it as an impossible situation in life and that sometimes love can be hard and there is nothing we can do about it? I think he is my biggest love in life and he told me he feels this way too. Link to post Share on other sites
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