essiexo Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I've been dating a guy long distance for over a year. He wants me to stay with him for awhile so we can work on our relationship. He doesn't want to do long distance anymore so if I don't come, he's going to break up with me. However, I have bills to pay and feel like it would be too difficult to. He said he can help me out with things until I find a job. But he's always saying how broke he is. And I don't know if he would even be able to really help me. I try talking to him about it, but he just says not to worry. Advice? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Read the replies in this thread. They're frankly something you should pay attention to. Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I've been dating a guy long distance for over a year. He wants me to stay with him for awhile so we can work on our relationship. He doesn't want to do long distance anymore so if I don't come, he's going to break up with me. However, I have bills to pay and feel like it would be too difficult to. He said he can help me out with things until I find a job. But he's always saying how broke he is. And I don't know if he would even be able to really help me. I try talking to him about it, but he just says not to worry. Advice? So he is giving you an ultimatum and one that hurts to boot. He sounds rather cold to be honest. If he's this cold now I would be wondering what he's like living under the same roof. I would really think about this cafefully before making any type of decision if I were you. How can someone expect someone to turn their whole life upside down after saying something like that? In other words, he's willing to abandon you if you don't give him what HE wants. He sounds rather selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
Author essiexo Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 So he is giving you an ultimatum and one that hurts to boot. He sounds rather cold to be honest. If he's this cold now I would be wondering what he's like living under the same roof. I would really think about this cafefully before making any type of decision if I were you. How can someone expect someone to turn their whole life upside down after saying something like that? In other words, he's willing to abandon you if you don't give him what HE wants. He sounds rather selfish. He is. I know he is. But just can't cut him off. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 He is. I know he is. But just can't cut him off. Why, what's in it for you? Other than neediness? Why hold on to something that actually, DOESN'T make you feel really good? Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 (edited) This guy is just cheap and lazy. He doesn't have to spend money to take her out. She entertains him for free via Skype. X-rated, I imagine. Why don't you go for a weekend visit? It's absurd to think about moving there when you haven't even dated. See how he treats you. Does he introduce you to his friends? Is he as selfish in bed as he is in real life? When you come back, you will have a realistic picture of your Prince Charming. Edited April 1, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Hi, I read your other post. Just the first one. Not all the thread. I guess men tend to be very practical. But you set a rule and won't move an inch. You think he's being inflexible, but you're being as stubborn as he is. So, what then? If you want things your way and think "if he really loves me, he will do what I asked him to", he'll have to either do that or you'll end things. On the other hand, nothing has really ever happened in person between you two, so the relationship is at the very beginning, and you're creating obstacles and that can be perceived - from a man's point of view - as the classical "testing". Men hate that kind of testing. Many just run away when they smell the testing thing, as their POV is "Here I am, love me for who I am". So basically, it's up to you now. I would find a comprimise. I'd love him to come to me first, of course, who wouldn't. But show him how much you love him and visit him for at least a couple of days. Go back home and invite him over. At that point, you can make it a requirement for anything following. Then see what happens. If he doesn't want to lose you, he will come to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts