Was I right to break it off ?

[bluegreen]

Would you forgive your LDR s/o just wenting poof into the air out of nowhere for 4 days while you had no clue what happened?

No contact of any kind and of course you would get anoyed first day second upset and third worried sick just as "they knew" you would.

 

You went to someone very close to them had them contact your s/o.

While of course being very much embarrased about laying out your dirty laundry to other people.

It comes up your s/o had some serious issues if they are not lying about it of course or simply where not concerned with how this will affect you because they acted like selfish immature self centered a.......s.

 

 

 

Now they are appologizing explaining how bad things for them are with those issues they are having right now.

How messed up they are over this break up and that they love you begging for second chance and not to leave them at this time when they need you most.

 

 

What do I do ?

I love him but I can't have him pulling this on me not now or ever again

I tought of all worst scenarios was sick with worry and fear.

I know about man and their pride going into the cave until they fix things but in my opinion this was cruel immature and selfish thing to do to someone you love am I right ?

 

[Els]

Depends on the reason. Can't help you more without knowing his.

[bluegreen]

Job issues bad ones ( I know that its not lie )

Issues concerning money ( not sure about those ) you could say a serious ammount of it and another issue or two that can prove really handfull.

To be honest in his e mail he sounds half out of his mind and it breaks my heart to think of it but so was I thinking worst.

 

I mean one day we talked had amazing time next I get nice note love you call me pls just wanna say Hi and next 4 days "nothing" what would anyone think but awfull things.

 

Am heart broken and Miss him more then ever but how do I risk same thing happening again when all it needed to be done was few words over phone or mail and it would be OK 4 me.

[Els]

Not excusable in that case. Excusable in my mind would be if he fell seriously ill, or an earthquake happened in his place and cut off all communication, or.. well, you get the drift.

 

One day is okay, maybe even two, but four with zero contact is quite inexcusable for a committed R.

[bluegreen]

Yes I agree and thats just what I tought him Ill or worse.

Thats why I broke it off and even if every begging loving word in his mail breaks my heart because I honestly had reasons to believe he loved me I could not let him get away with this.

But it hurts so bad

[todreaminblue]

Would you forgive your LDR s/o just wenting poof into the air out of nowhere for 4 days while you had no clue what happened?

No contact of any kind and of course you would get anoyed first day second upset and third worried sick just as "they knew" you would.

 

You went to someone very close to them had them contact your s/o.

While of course being very much embarrased about laying out your dirty laundry to other people.

It comes up your s/o had some serious issues if they are not lying about it of course or simply where not concerned with how this will affect you because they acted like selfish immature self centered a.......s.

 

 

 

Now they are appologizing explaining how bad things for them are with those issues they are having right now.

How messed up they are over this break up and that they love you begging for second chance and not to leave them at this time when they need you most.

 

 

What do I do ?

I love him but I can't have him pulling this on me not now or ever again

I tought of all worst scenarios was sick with worry and fear.

I know about man and their pride going into the cave until they fix things but in my opinion this was cruel immature and selfish thing to do to someone you love am I right ?

 

 

If this is the first time give him another chance in my opinion, make it crystal clear you will not give another chance unless it was something where he was physically not able to contact...best wishes..deb

[bluegreen]

More then anything I want to but unfortunatly I sense this could be a pattern for him. Least I could do is try to hold of for a while perhaps just maybe it might get trough him that I mean busines.

He is in his own way great gorgeous could be sweet as candy smart as hell on another selfish self centered immature and with wicked temper used to woman begg and chase him.

 

TX landies for your responses if not for you I would feel even worse

[bluegreen]

Just little update :

We exchanged few e mails he is still snowed under all that happened but says he is not letting me go he refuses to do this and that he loves me madly.

Unless I tell him that I despise his guts he is going no where

( isn't he smart little darling )

He knows to well am not able to tell him that and mean it and am sure NOW he knows he screwed up royally he just did not expect me to do what I did.

 

I said all that is fine and dandy but what he did has no excuse TX ladies for pointing that out it gave me strength to do stick to it.

 

He wants benefits of relationship he follows its rules he did not and he got what he deserved in a way am kind of proud of myself for doing the right thing for me in another am all broken up and love him just like always miss him so badly.

 

Not sure what will happen from here but still so far am not letting this go am NOT keep your fingers crossed for me ...

[bluegreen]

Ladies HELP !!!!

Someone help I really think he is trying to make me strangle him and if I could reach trough pc screen I would.

Got another e mail today where he is schoked that I deleted him of my FB and Skype and do I really mean to leave him did he not deserve one last talk ?

I went freaking nuts and hurled every kind of ugly thing I had and could remember to say at him give him one last chance to talk my ass.

 

He never gave me a consideration people give to their neighbors when they go for few days away hell even their mail man am still shaking my blood is boiling and steem is coming out of my ears.

 

Is he really that much of b.... lost his mind for a while depressed or WHAT

[LittleTiger]

Sorry you're struggling with this bluegreen. What sort of help are you looking for here?

 

I just read the thread and, as I understand it, your boyfriend got stressed over something and went AWOL for a few days and left you worried sick so you ended the relationship. He has begged you not to and says he won't give up unless you tell him directly that you no longer love him - something like that anyway. Is that reasonably accurate?

 

So, presumably, if you have deleted him from Facebook and Skype you aren't planning to pick up where you left off and for you it's over? But he keeps sending 'begging' emails and, because you're still boiling over about the AWOL business, his 'begging' is annoying you?

 

If that's how it is, and you have made your decision that the relationship is over, my only suggestion would be to tell him there is no going back and just delete any messages he sends in future without reading them. That way, you can stop getting wound up every time he contacts you.

 

If you're not ready to end the relationship and just doing the 'delete' thing to punish him, that's pretty foolish. If you want to reconsider the relationship, let him know you need some cooling off time - a few days, a week or whatever, and that you'll be in touch when you've calmed down.

 

Personally, I don't think it's possible for us to assess how heinous his 'crime' was because we don't know the details of his life or your relationship. If this was a 'one-off' and he wasn't doing something unnacceptable (having a secret fling with another woman etc) you could just make it clear that a repeat performance will spell THE END. I don't see any reason why you couldn't forgive him for one mistake

[bluegreen]

TX for your kind post.

Its true I went little loon there but its just as you said each e mail he send cuts into me and hurts me again.

Thats my exact fear that he got tangled up with someone and I'll not be able to prove it besides scaring me to death embarassing me causing me to air my dirty laundry in public cheating would kill me.

I loved him so much I tought about responding to him with few demands since he caused me to loose trust in him to hand over his passwords to everything for begining.

He got nothing to hide and proves it I'll take my part of responsability to fix this mess if he denies it to me then I know something stinks here and he is history is that to radical move ?

[justwhoiam]

Would you forgive your LDR s/o just wenting poof into the air out of nowhere for 4 days while you had no clue what happened?

If he said he was sorry (and he did), yes. Maybe on his knees. Btw, why don't you have a backup plan for anything being wrong with him? Like someone you can turn to if he's in a coma or something?

 

I understand how ugly it was for you, I really do.

 

You need to set some rules for this relationship. You broke up so many times already. And every time you get back together. What does that mean? Also, you need to close the distance. Or set up a deadline.

 

Anyway, he apologized.

 

What do I do ?

If you're the same person I know... you love him. I know you don't want him to get away with this, also considering how much you let pass in the past. That's why you need to set rules for your own health.

 

in my opinion this was cruel immature and selfish thing to do to someone you love am I right ?

 

Yes, definitely. But he didn't do that on purpose, right? He had so much going on, and also consider the time zone... And his mind to pieces... you can't reason well like that.