Unprepared Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I'm 25 and my SO is 28. We were together 6 months before he left 2 weeks ago. We fell in love. We met while working in a foreign country (we come from similar cultures). His work ended and he left to travel. I miss him terribly. I have to remain for six more months because I am locked into a contract. Early in our relationship we had planned to meet when I was finished and travel some place together. A family event came up for him at the same time I'm due to finish so he will return home and our plans were put on hold. Not that there was any set plan. I had already applied for a highly competitive Uni programme at home just for more options to continue travel/future security. On the evening of his departure I found out I was successful. I cried my eyes out as I knew this didnt bode well for my R. This is the final oppurtunity to complete the programme in 8 months. After this year it will be 24 months and double the fees. My SO is supportive of the course. However, he doesn't seem keen on moving to my country. I feel forced to do the course due to the sense in geting it out of the way now when its cheaper/shorter. But I feel like I may be sacrificing my relationship. I feel so torn and depressed at the thought of returning to my home country and my relationship ending. I've cried daily since his departure. Can anyone offer sound advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Unprepared Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 I should clarify that my course begins at the end of my contract in 6 months. Link to post Share on other sites
CherryT Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Can he/you visit each other during that time? He is spending time traveling now, so why can't he travel to see you? I think you should complete your school. 14 months isn't that long... if you're both committed you can make it happen. I say this because my BF and I technically can move now but we are planning to close the distance in 12-24 months because we want to take our time and be financially smart about our move. I'd be moving to his country so I may be out of work for a few months... although he can support me it doesn't hurt to give ourselves a few more months. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Unprepared Posted March 23, 2013 Author Share Posted March 23, 2013 He is traveling for the next six months and has no set plan after that. He doesn't seem keen on going to the country where my Uni is because there is zero job prospects. This traveling stint will cost him a fair bit. We have discussed him coming to visit me in the next six months. When he left, he said this was a possibility. Now, he's off having the time of his life (and I am happy for him of course) but thinks the possibility of returning to this country is too depressing (he lived here for 3 years prior to meeting me). All he can say is 'I don't know'. Which really hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Just carry on. He may decide he misses you. Do not sacrifice your education or job for him unless he proposes marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Unprepared Posted March 26, 2013 Author Share Posted March 26, 2013 I guess I already have doubts about whether this course is what I really want to do. At the same time, I was going to do it regardless, to give me more options. I don't necessarily see myself getting married ever so that's not important for me, and it would be far too soon after out short relationship. I guess it's hard that I might begiving up on what couldve been a great R, for an education I'm unsure I even want. Link to post Share on other sites
CherryT Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I guess I already have doubts about whether this course is what I really want to do. At the same time, I was going to do it regardless, to give me more options. I don't necessarily see myself getting married ever so that's not important for me, and it would be far too soon after out short relationship. I guess it's hard that I might begiving up on what couldve been a great R, for an education I'm unsure I even want. Or you're giving up a great education for a relationship that both people may not be as committed as you'd hope. What I'm saying is, no one can force another person to be in a LDR. You're sacrificing a lot because HE doesn't want to go to you. In order for a LDR to work, you have to want the best for your partner. It's a sacrifice you make now knowing that they are making one too for the better of both of you and your relationship. Your education is important and will give you options even if you move to him later on. To give up your life to be with him and if it doesn't work out, where would that leave you? He should want the best for you and if he wants to be with you he will be supportive of that. If he is investing time and money traveling but not to you... I don't know, he doesn't seem committed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Unprepared Posted March 27, 2013 Author Share Posted March 27, 2013 Cherry T, thank you for your response, I agree with much of what you're saying. Just to clarify, he completely supports the course and is willing to try a LDR. And, at low points I wish he would give up the traveling, but overall I do support him and these plans he had for a long time. I guess I just need to accept that it's going to be an LDR for longer than we wanted. I am afraid of it not working out. I always saw LDR's as something painful and difficult, and something I would always avoid. I've struggled with it the past while and maybe I just need to get comfortable with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts