lovebebe Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 hi there im very new to this web site but i hope to get a help from you guys.. i live in philadelphia , my family is in russia...im 24 and have a great job in banking industry. my boyfriend live is boston with his family he has a great job also.. we start dating in may 2012 and seeing each other once a month for 2-3 days,now its january 2013. we have spent our christmas vacation with his family.seem like they re positive about our relationship. now its getting harder and harder for us being far away from each other.. it has been 2 month since im looking for a job in boston and nothing coming up. my boyfriend is in hurry that i should move to boston. and i have a great job in Phila..what should i do?do i have to resign from my job and start all over in boston or i have to wait till i find a job there? please advice me.. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Wait until you find a job. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Split the difference: Both of you should move to NYC. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 hi there im very new to this web site but i hope to get a help from you guys.. i live in philadelphia , my family is in russia...im 24 and have a great job in banking industry. my boyfriend live is boston with his family he has a great job also.. we start dating in may 2012 and seeing each other once a month for 2-3 days,now its january 2013. we have spent our christmas vacation with his family.seem like they re positive about our relationship. now its getting harder and harder for us being far away from each other.. it has been 2 month since im looking for a job in boston and nothing coming up. my boyfriend is in hurry that i should move to boston. and i have a great job in Phila..what should i do?do i have to resign from my job and start all over in boston or i have to wait till i find a job there? please advice me.. Tell your boyfriend to cool his jets then wait until you find a good job in Boston. Do not just resign without having something solid lined up. Also, make sure you have enough in savings that should the relationship go tits up, you can take care of yourself and relocate again if need be. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovebebe Posted January 24, 2013 Author Share Posted January 24, 2013 Split the difference: Both of you should move to NYC. i like you signiture..seems like its saying something meaningful ) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arabella Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 As someone who lives in the Boston area, I'll say this: Do NOT move here until you find a job!! Does your boyfriend have a plan as to what to do if you move? Are you going to get an apartment together and he's going to support you until you find work? The cost of living here is ridiculous. He better be making more than 50k if he plans on supporting you, or it's just not going to happen. -A 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mtlgrrl Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 A lot of things you need to face here, have you spent time together ( more than a weekend or a week even ), are you looking for a job in Boston? If you ask me if it's worth it, I'd say yes it is. If you have a solid relationship and working is not a problem, I say do it. The only thing keeping me from living w/ my boyfriend is $$$$$ very hard to find a job in his city/country. Do not move if you don't have $$$$ saved or a job lined up, you will be living at his expense and in my opinion it ain't a good idea! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovebebe Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 (edited) i left my job i left everything just to be with him..closer to him... im looking for a job and seems like i have a lot of time to think... i start being jealous i have so much time..that i stopped controlling myself.. he has a lot of female friends..and it appears to be more then i could imagine. sometimes he is with me sometimes he is not.i mean not physically... we see each other 2 times a week... is that very often??? we do something together but then i realize that his mind are somewhere but not with me,,,we start fighting more often.... usually because of the stupid staff...such -who are this chicks on your Facebook or instagram.....i don't see any support from him..seems like im looking for all minuses in him what should i do??maybe a problem is in me? p.s. by the way im not living at his expenses at all..no no...i have some money saved till i find a job Edited March 19, 2013 by lovebebe Link to post Share on other sites
CherryT Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 (edited) I think if you have to ask "should I move" you're not ready yet. My boyfriend and I both agreed that I will be moving. If I could have gone yesterday, I would. But we want to do it right: get engaged, find a job, secure our home (we're buying), and have a ton of $$$ saved up for emergency so chances of us being together in 2013 is unlikely, but we hope early 2014 we'll have enough security for one of our biggest life changes. A lot the preparation will illuminate issues because we have a plan. We also communicate every detail so we know what each of us want in our lives and in our future. The difference is that I don't have to ask "should I move" because it's a given that it's what's best for the both of us... but we're not jumping at that decision just yet. I don't think you gave yourself enough time... and we can't help you with the play-by-play of your life. You needed to discuss this further with him before you moved: what are your EXPECTATIONS when I move there? Am I just the GF so if you're not interested anymore, we're breaking up? OR are we more serious and if I am sacrificing where I am now for our relationships are we progressing further (marriage etc). I think you took a chance and reality hit you... unfortunately sometimes in LDR we get caught up in what we want this "fairytale" to be like that we get nervous about talking about the important items like finances, emotional support, moving, living, being together etc. It's all nice and dandy when it's like a mini vacation every time you see your SO, but eventually you do need to talk about the hard things like in a local relationship. If talking about it becomes something you don't want to hear (he's not ready, doesn't want that commitment), yes it will hurt, but at least you know where you stand. I think you didn't want to know that reality and now that reality has caught up with you. So you have a choice: talk to him about it and ask him for what you want or leave. I always say, bridging the gap is ALWAYS 50/50. The load isn't just on the person who is moving. Edited March 19, 2013 by CherryT 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 i left my job i left everything just to be with him..closer to him... im looking for a job ... we see each other 2 times a week... is that very often??? Really? So I guess you're not living together. Right? So you moved to a place to be out of a job, leaving a good job behind, and you're not even with him? Seriously? Link to post Share on other sites
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