junipergirl Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 Well, my worst fears came true - its over after 2 years together. I guess most people are right when they say LDRs never last. I had utter faith mine would, but its gone the way it usually does. It would never have worked out - an English girl studying in England for 3 years, an Israeli studying for 5 years in Slovakia. I don't know why I ever thought it would. The odds were stacked against us. At least now its happened I can move on rather than always fearing that the inevitable would have happened. Thanks, thats all I wanted to say. Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 Originally posted by junipergirl At least now its happened I can move on rather than always fearing that the inevitable would have happened. It's really good to realize this, and bear it in mind as you recover from losing the relationship. When you're in a situation where that fear is a factor, the relationship itself is transformed. It becomes toxic on some level. How were you compromising yourself, limiting yourself, censoring yourself, in order to maintain the relationship? You may have been doing that all subconsciously but as you look back on the relationship you might start to see ways that it really wasn't good for you. And when you meet someone and start a new relationship where that fear of losing love isn't a factor, you'll see how very unsatisfactory the last one really was. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 LDR's ARE very difficult to maintain and keep the sparks going.....especially if you are separated for YEARS due to circumstances. Even though you feel reduced to a statistic....you still gave it your best shot. Love often falls apart even in the best of circumstances.....and you were facing a lot of tough odds. You never know though....when down life's road....your paths will cross again. Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 I am sorry it didn't work out. At least you know you tried, even when the odds were stacked against you (LDRs have a habit of being very tough). I wish you the best~ Link to post Share on other sites
pinklove Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 Hello I just wanted to let u know that I also was in a similar situation as yours. My friend was originally from Ghana and studying abroad in the UK and I am here in the US. I did not want to get into a relationship with him at first, but after his persuasion, I finally gave in and we were getting along fine until now. He was planning a visit here to the US. and I was planning a visit there to the UK. Well, that doesn't have anything to do with us not being on good terms now. I sensed that he was a user and a cheat and had alot of evidence to back it up. It seems as though he was going online to prey on innocent females. (I met him on an online dating service.) I was never against long-distance relationship because I am a firm believer that love knows no boundaries, but if the two people involved doesn't put forth any effort in making it work nor do that put forth any effort to behave themselves as though they see each other everyday, then it will never work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author junipergirl Posted April 8, 2004 Author Share Posted April 8, 2004 Everything was working out really well until the last month or so, and as I said, we were so happy together despite the distance. I never thought it would end and that we were destined to be together, I was so much in love. In the end it was the distance that killed it, and I do believe that had we been living in the same place it would have worked out. Originally posted by Arabess You never know though....when down life's road....your paths will cross again. Maybe, but at this point in time I just don't want to think there is even the slightest chance we'll get back together, otherwise I'll be done for. Thanks all for your kind words. Its gonna be hard, I know, and the scars will eventually heal. At least I can take this experience and learn from it. Link to post Share on other sites
pinklove Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 That's the spirit!!! Distance can be a real killer, because the curiousity kills u. I know I was always wondering what my (now ex) was doing when he wasn't on the phone or instant messaging me. I wish u all the best of luck in finding someone close to home and I hope it works out. Link to post Share on other sites
claudia Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 I wish some one will explain that term for me " the distance killed it". i just recently brokeup with my LDR boyfriend , we were on different side of the world caribbean vs europe . and it seemed like a good relationship but he got very afraid that i would not like that country and eventually broke up with me . one thing i can say its a different kinda pain as opposed to breaking up with someone in the same country there is always that feeling of it could work only if................ . You seem so strong and smart to know thats its time to let go . My ex and i are trying to be friends but its not working too well . well i encourage u to continue to be strong Link to post Share on other sites
pinklove Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 Long distant relationships just do not work for everyone. Some people can handle them and some people can't. I did not mind having a relationship with my ex boyfriend, the problem was he was a liar and a cheat and it didn't have anything to do with the distance, had he been here the same thing would have happend. But, like I said being in a long distant relationship is a big step and u have to put alot of work into it. I mean u can't just decide that u are going to go to that person's house and spend time together, or get together and do something that couples do. U have to plan these things and in some cases get a visitors visa and all of that stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
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