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LDRs work as long as you are with the right person


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What do you think? My last relationship was long distance and I HATED IT! It was so hard and I thought on a weekly basis I couldn't handle it much longer. Then finally he broke up with me and although at the time I didn't want that, I later realized I was incredibly unhappy during the whole long distance relationship. I did my fair share of crying (not to him, by myself) and he was busy a lot.

 

I am currently in another long distance relationship (6+ months) and it's so unbelievably better than my last. I talk to my boyfriend daily and we watch netflix and play video games together, talk on the phone while we grocery shop at the same time, and talk online and text or email throughout the day. I am even FARTHER apart from this guy than I was from my ex (twice the distance) and yet not once has the thought crossed my mind that I couldn't handle it. It's been (relatively) easy the whole way through. Sure we miss each other a lot, but we both know we can wait even up to 4 months (if we have to) to have another visit (we are ~1700 miles apart so certainly can't see each other every week or month like some REALLY LUCKY long distance people!). We also have an end to the distance in sight late next year (hopefully). Also when I say end in distance I mean cutting it down to 2 or 3 hours... which compared to our current 29 hours is AMAZING!!! (so if you and your SO are 2 or 3 hours apart now count yourselves LUCKY! you could be like me :p )

 

I understand everyone will have differing opinions on this, and that for some people distance is just a deal breaker, no matter how compatible the person. I am just curious what others think!

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Most relationships work when you're with the right person. But the wrong time and place will scupper your best efforts. Sometimes we are victims of cirumstance. Every relationship is a unique dynamic made up of the two people in it.

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HeavenOrHell

Not sure I agree that they work as long as it's the right person. Could you do this indefinitely with no end in sight, never moving closer?

I don't miss my partner too much as we have plenty of contact and meet every 6-8 weeks, but we have no end in sight, so I've no idea if it will work out or if it will become unbearable, this doesn't mean we're not right for each other. I would love to live 2 or 3 hours from him, that would be amazing!

You're lucky you have the luxury of an end in sight.

 

What do you think? My last relationship was long distance and I HATED IT! It was so hard and I thought on a weekly basis I couldn't handle it much longer. Then finally he broke up with me and although at the time I didn't want that, I later realized I was incredibly unhappy during the whole long distance relationship. I did my fair share of crying (not to him, by myself) and he was busy a lot.

 

I am currently in another long distance relationship (6+ months) and it's so unbelievably better than my last. I talk to my boyfriend daily and we watch netflix and play video games together, talk on the phone while we grocery shop at the same time, and talk online and text or email throughout the day. I am even FARTHER apart from this guy than I was from my ex (twice the distance) and yet not once has the thought crossed my mind that I couldn't handle it. It's been (relatively) easy the whole way through. Sure we miss each other a lot, but we both know we can wait even up to 4 months (if we have to) to have another visit (we are ~1700 miles apart so certainly can't see each other every week or month like some REALLY LUCKY long distance people!). We also have an end to the distance in sight late next year (hopefully). Also when I say end in distance I mean cutting it down to 2 or 3 hours... which compared to our current 29 hours is AMAZING!!! (so if you and your SO are 2 or 3 hours apart now count yourselves LUCKY! you could be like me :p )

 

I understand everyone will have differing opinions on this, and that for some people distance is just a deal breaker, no matter how compatible the person. I am just curious what others think!

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It's been (relatively) easy the whole way through. Sure we miss each other a lot, but we both know we can wait even up to 4 months (if we have to) to have another visit (we are ~1700 miles apart so certainly can't see each other every week or month like some REALLY LUCKY long distance people!).

 

Not all people are so lucky! If you have to wait UP TO 4 months, that is 4 visits a year, well, I see my SO twice a year only so far ( and we've been 2 years in LDR ) . . . and trust me, that make it much harder!!!

 

HoH, I agree with you, I know that we want to be together and that we will may be soon, but his immigration procedure is taking forever, we haven't gotten any news in the past 6 months . . . so when you don't know when the end point is it sucks big time!!!

 

And to tell you the truth, I'm incredibly unhappy right now, I can't focus on anything, I don't want to do anything . . . and that doesn't go well with school . . . but we were talking last night about these things, first we had a huge fight, then I was crying, then he was . . . and the we couldn't stop telling one another how much we love the other person . . . .

 

If you have been in LDR with this guy for 6 months and you think it's easy, good for you, but I am starting to think that for some people love is really not enough.

 

Good luck ;)

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HeavenOrHell

Just keep in mind you have an end in sight, hold onto that thought, even if it takes it while you know it will happen, right? Or could they say no?

 

I'm lucky as I'm able to see my partner about every 7 weeks, but I also think you're lucky as you're working towards moving closer, me and my partner were aiming to live closer by the end of next year/beginning of the next, but that's not happening now because of his work situation, so we may never live closer, if we couldn't meet up as often I would end it as there's no end in sight at all. You have an end you're working towards, I don't, I wish I had that, don't give up on it.

 

Not all people are so lucky! If you have to wait UP TO 4 months, that is 4 visits a year, well, I see my SO twice a year only so far ( and we've been 2 years in LDR ) . . . and trust me, that make it much harder!!!

 

HoH, I agree with you, I know that we want to be together and that we will may be soon, but his immigration procedure is taking forever, we haven't gotten any news in the past 6 months . . . so when you don't know when the end point is it sucks big time!!!

 

And to tell you the truth, I'm incredibly unhappy right now, I can't focus on anything, I don't want to do anything . . . and that doesn't go well with school . . . but we were talking last night about these things, first we had a huge fight, then I was crying, then he was . . . and the we couldn't stop telling one another how much we love the other person . . . .

 

If you have been in LDR with this guy for 6 months and you think it's easy, good for you, but I am starting to think that for some people love is really not enough.

 

Good luck ;)

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What do you think? My last relationship was long distance and I HATED IT! It was so hard and I thought on a weekly basis I couldn't handle it much longer. Then finally he broke up with me and although at the time I didn't want that, I later realized I was incredibly unhappy during the whole long distance relationship. I did my fair share of crying (not to him, by myself) and he was busy a lot.

 

I am currently in another long distance relationship (6+ months) and it's so unbelievably better than my last. I talk to my boyfriend daily and we watch netflix and play video games together, talk on the phone while we grocery shop at the same time, and talk online and text or email throughout the day. I am even FARTHER apart from this guy than I was from my ex (twice the distance) and yet not once has the thought crossed my mind that I couldn't handle it. It's been (relatively) easy the whole way through. Sure we miss each other a lot, but we both know we can wait even up to 4 months (if we have to) to have another visit (we are ~1700 miles apart so certainly can't see each other every week or month like some REALLY LUCKY long distance people!). We also have an end to the distance in sight late next year (hopefully). Also when I say end in distance I mean cutting it down to 2 or 3 hours... which compared to our current 29 hours is AMAZING!!! (so if you and your SO are 2 or 3 hours apart now count yourselves LUCKY! you could be like me :p )

 

I understand everyone will have differing opinions on this, and that for some people distance is just a deal breaker, no matter how compatible the person. I am just curious what others think!

 

I strongly disagree! The deciding factors are many and varied.

 

I was blissfully happy 6+ months into my current LDR. Not so blissfully happy, 2+ years into it and we've gone backwards rather than forwards in terms of closing the distance (and the frequency of contact and visits). This isn't due to any change in feeling from either of us, we still love each other as much as ever - but there's been a significant change in circumstances since we first met.

 

I also don't think there's any such thing as 'really lucky' when you're in an LDR. My fiance and I are 30hrs flight apart - that's 12,000 miles - as far as you can get. Although we used to see each other every two/three months our next visit will have been 6 months apart and the longer it goes on, the harder it gets. I could say that you're one of the 'really lucky' ones since I'm assuming you probably mean a 30 hour journey over land and if you got on a plane you could cut that down to 4 or 5 hours. Pretty close by my standards.

 

I feel for anyone who's separated from the person they love, whether it's 100 miles and two hours in a car or living on separate continents divided by thousands of miles of sea! I'd be very interested to see how well you're coping 18 months from now when you and your SO are still miles apart - especially if you're still 30 hours away.

 

I really hope, for both your sakes, that you're not because I wouldn't wish this life on anyone - but I'm 99.9% sure you'll be singing a very different tune if you are!

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