0nyx577 Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 My boyfriend is absolutely wonderful to me, and I know he loves me so much. Everyone around can see it, as well as me. I love him so much and I know I would love to spend my life with him, that's the plan. I believe that he would never leave, and that if I ever did, it would be the worst mistake of my life. But recently, I've been getting so resentful towards him. I fight and argue and get mad and upset over stupid, stupid little things. Whenever he asks me to tell him that I know he loves me, or that I know he cares, or that I trust him.. something stops me inside. I'm so annoyed with him lately and myself. It's like if he doesn't do something, i get mad. If he does something, I get mad. We've been fighting constantly. He's lied to me about things in the past, which have made me re-think things. They weren't bad lies at all, but he still lied and I don't like that. He also flirted with this girl his friend likes the other day, it wasn't bad or anything, but it still made me feel like crap so I'm still a little bitter about that. I worry so much anymore and I know it drives him crazy. I constantly worry that he'll cheat, or break up with me, or fall out of love, or fall in love with someone else and I hate worrying about these things. I dont know, is this just a rough patch maybe? I love him so much, but he's been driving me absolutely crazy lately and I know i've been driving him crazy. I'm being so stupid but I just can't stop myself! what do i do? I don't want to drive him away, but I'm worried if I don't stop now, I just might. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Youre on the slippery slope missy. If you keep being this annoying to him, he will have no choice but to dump you..... because you would have chipped away at his attraction to you until there is none left. Is that what you want? Have some confidence in why he is with you. You are getting addicted to the feeling of the anger emotion and riling yourself up. Better develop some self control. Figure out why he lied to you instead of catering to your ego of "i dont like lies". he might have lied to avoid hurting you. No one likes lies, but many people lie to avoid killing attractions. If you have a genuine feeling that he is doing things because you cant be there, then you have to break it off anyway. Long distance relationships rarely work out anyways. You mean to say that you cant get a decent guy based on your personality locally? Link to post Share on other sites
Taucher Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Hello! I suffer from this myself, from time to time. Not so much recently. Don't beat yourself up for feeling like this. What worked for me was that I decided to start acting like I didnt have these feelings; I really believe this is the only way to go. The more you start being clingy, the more likely what you are scared of will happen. So, feel free to have these feelings, but hide them from him. Your constant need for reassurance will never be satisfied - you might be happy one day but it doesnt last forever, and the more he eases your fears, the more you will try to get him to do it. It's a vicous circle that COULD make him resentful. If I get fearful, I dont say anything to my SO - but I feel just the same after 20 minutes without bringing up these issues than I do when I DO bring them up, if you see what I mean. Yes, he may have lied to you about one or two less important things in the past - but if you accuse him of things or think he is going to cheat on you then it is more likely to happen. My last girlfriend was very jealous and she often thought I was seeing someone else (we lived togther and spent most of our time together and I never would cheat anyway). The point is, the more she believed I was cheating, the more defensive I became. I even thought that if I DID cheat, it wouldnt make any difference because she believed I did it anyway. So, if you feel these feelings coming, take a deep breath and count to ten. T Link to post Share on other sites
wild_urge Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Hey, it happens to all of us, but really try not to show him your feelings all the time it is good to remind him from time to time how much you miss him, but remember that he also misses you and it's equally hard for him and he's also worried about the guys around you. Personally, I have dreamed a few times about my bf being with another girls, even if I know that he loves me very much, just this morning I woke up after this nightmare, where I am watching from the desk, where usually his laptop is and there is this gorgeous naked blond and she's looking at me an smiling and then I see another girl that is showing underneath the sheets in the bed and the he comes out of the sheets . . . I wake up and the first 5 min I don't know if that was for real or not . . . We just have the tendency of doing this, try to be supportive, try to watch movies together and to play online games, there isn't that much you can do, but I try for him and for yourself, you love him and he's your everything right ? Then you have no choice, but to be strong! We also just watched "He's just not into you" and when Ben Affleck proposed to Jenifer Aniston I couldn't stop myself from crying all of a sudden, but I moved away so he couldn't see that I was crying, I cried for a minute took a deep breath took of my sweater and when he asked me what happened I just said I was hot and I think that he believed me . . . It's going to be ok Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Constant re-assurance, thank you taucher, that was the word I was looking for. Onyx, youre getting addicted to NEEDING the re-assurance, and you have to practice supressing that urge to think about it. You dont need the re-assurance, you are an independent woman, and you only need to hear from him when he wants to hear from you, regardless what hes doing. Link to post Share on other sites
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