Dreamgirl03 Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Hey! I`ve just got into this long distance relationship thing. This is the first time i have ever been in this kind of a relationship,not to mention i just broke up with my ex fiancee 3 months ago. The guy i am dating lives 3 hours away from me, which isnt that bad, but still. I had talked to him about 3 years ago and fell in love with him then, but he moved and we lost contact for those 3 years. I moved on and everything, but 3 months ago my ex fiancee left me and hurt me very badly. I contacted the guy i am currently with 1 week ago and we have been together since that night. I am still very afraid that he is going to do the same thing, and hurt me. He says he wont, but i never know. The last guy said the same thing, and it happened. Plus, every long distance relationship i have ever known never worked..he always cheated on her, then left..and I am just so afraid of it. I have told him how i feel about it several times..and he is afraid too. The same thing that happened to me, happened to him, basically. He says he`s afraid i`ll do it too, but i want to prove to him i wont..yet at the same time try to get over this scaredness. What should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Most long distance relationships suck. Get a positive attitude, expect the very best, and go find someone right there in your town. Link to post Share on other sites
turtle Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Not all long distance relationships suck. There are a few things essentialy in making a long distance relationship work: 1) You can never start out long distance. You have to know the person for awhile before the distance starts. (you did mention that you knew the guy previously) Otherwise, there is no good foundation for the relationship 2) You have to be able to trust the person. This is the toughest part. Make sure you get to know most of his friends and family sometime. If he hesitates to introduce you, then you might not be the only significant other. Also, try to avoid keeping tabs on his every movement. He doesn't need another mother. Hopefully, just by talking over the phone you can get a sense of what he does in his free time. 3) In a long distance relationship, you need to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You need to be able to look into the future and know that eventually you can be together for good. If neither of you ever plans to move to be with one another, it's time to end the relationship. Don't invest the time if it will never pay off. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
RC Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Well, my boyfriend and I have ALWAYS been long distance.... We started as friends, we met online..... we remained ONLY friends for about 4 years, then a year ago valentine's day, we were both lonely and had no date, so he said we'd go out, I told him thanks, but i thought meeting would be the end of our friendship.... only because we had just been friends for so long, there had never been any talk of taking things further...... well, here we are today, we've been dating since Valentines day 2002.... So, just because you start out long distance, doesn't mean it's going to end.......... It is surely harder, but doable!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dreamgirl03 Posted June 30, 2003 Author Share Posted June 30, 2003 yeah..thats true..just cuzz its long distance doesnt mean it`ll end. I just hope it doesnt..cuz i really think i`m in love with him, and dont want to lose him again. Link to post Share on other sites
junipergirl Posted July 3, 2003 Share Posted July 3, 2003 I agree with most of what Turtle says. However, I think its easier to handle a LDR if you meet and date long distance from the start. if youre used to being with someone then suddenly being apart is very hard. My LDR started off really casual: we are both from different countries, got together in a third country, parted ways. decided to go and visit him, found out the spark was still there. Still casual at this stage. He missed me and came to see me in the UK, and things just snowballed from there. I think it works because even though we both know we have a future together we are both really independent people and are building up seperate careers. What will eventually happen no-body can ever know, but we feel so secure in our future life together that being apart doesnt matter at this stage. At the end of the day, I am not going to try and find someone in the same town as me - i love my boyfriend very much and there is no-one I would rather be with, even if it is long distance. Every minute we're together is worth the weeks and weeks we're apart. I can see a point when we'll no longer be long-distance but settled down with kids.... there is no point me looking for someone else geographically closer to me cos I'm already with the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. Thats what you need to consider before trying to make it work. And if you can't see it happening, there is just no point. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts