Girlfriend off to college soon :/

[Millstang]

So, I have such a strong relationship with my girlfriend, and I love her so much my words can't even describe. We starting dating my freshman year in college and her junior year in H.S. We spend almost every day with each other, and we have been together for 2 years this summer. We are both Christians, and she is very strong to her morals. We have had sex before, but have made the decision together to wait until marriage. We still have a just as exciting relationship as we did the first month.

As it's getting closer to picking where she's going to college, (I go to a local university) She says she wants to move away out of her parents house. She tells me everyday how much she loves me, And of course I believe her, but I just can't understand why she'd want to move away from me. I just feel like if it were the other way around, I would stay with her no question about it.

She's looking at a school about 8 and a half hours away from me

I have hinted to her, very carefully, that I would love for her to stay in town but she has made up her mind that staying at home isn't an option, and her parents wont let her move out unless she's far enough away for it to make sense. And private universities near by are hard to come by :/

 

This is really the only girlfriend I've had that I'm so content with, It scares me that things will be different. I'm so scared that she is going to meet someone else up there at her university and just live her life up there. I don't know if I'm just being weird about this or what, but it really has been on my mind the past couple weeks, and the anxiety wont leave my stomach.

Any advice on this to make me feel better would be so awesome. Thanks so much.

[Millstang]

I forgot to add, she feels, as well as I do that we are eventually going to get married and spend the rest of our lives with each other.

[Rollercoasterr]

Any reason why you couldn't/wouldn't transfer to be with her?

 

If the school she wants to go to has a program that she loves, or has something that local schools don't, you should cut her some slack on it.

[Millstang]

That's the thing, she has no clue what she wants to do. It's the school her parents met at and went to.

And I wish transferring was an option, but I'm a business student and a very nice college of business, and her school is liberal arts :/

[Rollercoasterr]

I would suggest that she take heart and really think about what she wants to do with her life before she decides anything. Unfortunately, this could also have the opportunity to take her even further away.

 

However, since we ARE in the LDR forum, LDR's aren't the end of the world. I know that it sucks, but a lot of us are further than 8 hours away and we make it work. It's all in the trust and the security you feel in your relationship. If you aren't 1000000% sure that this is you then an LDR isn't for you.

 

Be supportive of her. Anything else is liable to push her away even faster. The more supportive and loving you are, the more she's going to think twice about going so far away from you. No girl would want to leave a man like that unless it were truly necessary. If she doesn't know for sure what she wants to do with her life, then I hardly see it as necessary at the current moment.

[Millstang]

Well I hope that being supportive doesn't make her even more comfortable moving away :/ It's just so frustrating because there really is no reason for her to move so far away other than she wants to get out of her parents house. That's what frustrates me the most. When she is away, I'll do everything in my power to make it work.

She said that her parents are flying her down at least once a month to visit, but from seeing each other every day, that's not a lot. And I'll go up and visit her too, of course.

[Romance]

She is a smart girl, not basing her entire life around a guy. My boyfriend and I go to school five hours apart because we are not each others entire lives, yeah we also think we'll get married someday, but we have to finish school first.

[Millstang]

Thanks for the advice guys.. It really does help a lot. And I think if it's God's plan that we will be together, than that's how it'll be. I love her enough to support her an any decision she'll make, even if that means driving every other week to see her.

I hope 10 years from now, both of us can look back and laugh.

[b52s]

Would you be okay letting your girlfriend settle for a mediocre school, just so you guys could hang out on weekends?

 

I don't see what not....a college is just a college. I can't figure out why people shell out the BIG bucks to go to college OUT of state.

 

Personally, I think it doesn't matter if you got your degree at the University of Florida OR a private school or Ivy League.

 

I think the only benefit to going to those "High end" schools is when you mention that you went to one at a cocktail party, and your new friends go "ooooooh, aaaaaah!! You went to Harvard let me TOUCH you!" lol

 

I went to a local community college 5 minutes away from my own home, and then transferred after I got my AA, while these suckers of parents shelled out the big bucks to drop them as a freshman in some college out of state.

[b52s]

Be supportive of her decision, because if your relationship is meant to be, it will last. But just a note, many LDRs after high school to a college far away do not last. Not all fail, but the majority do. Mine did, and we dated for three years

 

Agreed, the relationships and the crossroads from high school to going to a college far, far away.....well, as Agent Smith says, "It is inevitable!!"

 

Kind of weird though, she won't go to the LOCAL University that you go to, just so you can be together.

 

What MIGHT happen is, she'll go to college, you'll come visit once in a blue moon, she'll come to visit on the holidays....eventually the phone call frequency die down.

 

Reason for that she'll start making new friends, start participating in clubs on campus, establish a social life up there, and you'll wind up doing the same at you local college.

 

Out of sight out of mind.

 

Then your eyes might wander to some NEW prospects, and around that time, the relationship might end.

 

Not saying this WILL happen, but like one of the posters said, these "High school to college" relationships are likely to end just FOR that reason.

 

But then, you might be too busy in your new adventure to worry about it.

 

Good luck though, it could work out.

[b52s]

That's great, so when you run a Fortune 500 company and I want my resume to stand out among all the "Okeefenokee Community College" degrees, I will seek your personal opinion about which schools I should go to.

 

There are better and worse colleges to attend. Is it a fact of life that those with a degree from a better, higher ranked school will usually earn more and be more successful than those with a degree from a no-name college.

 

 

Of course, I could get into how sometimes when you job hunting and you can't get hired for the field that you desire (esp due tot he current situation)

 

Many of my former alumni had to settle for some jobs outside of their degree....so it didn't matter. Some had to struggle, some had to bite the bullet, give on their field, becuase it didnt pay the bills, and re-entered college again for another more practical degree.

 

So really it's all moot of what KIND of college you attended.

 

I attended a "hick town" comm. college, and then transferred to an accredited University. Doesn't matter actually.

[Millstang]

Well, I go to a 4- year accredited University. She just wants a private school that she feels more comfortable in. Idk if this forum is really helping me, or just making me more nervous about growing apart from her.

[thatguy100]

Millstang, I when I was dating my ex girlfriend, yes an ex but I have to say this, we both agreed that our education must come first, not our love for each other, so I told her that I would be fine with her going to another university/college, because its true if I love her I want the best for her, the university/college she was going to was the best for her and will give her the job she wants. Now her dreams are about going to this university, and if you are her dream guy, she would keep contact and also want to get back together once both of you are done, have jobs, then you can start to date again. There are couples out there that do break up for college and university reasons, and well some of them end up back together. I now the feeling, I have been there, but you have to be prepared to lose her for now, and be apart for now. It is not about the now, but how things work out in the end. That is how I am dealing with my situation right now, I have to let my ex girl go for now, because we are young but I know that in the future once we have our degree's and not stressed out by school and such. I would go out and ask her to supper or something just to catch up and take things from there. Hope this has helped and made you less nervous about things.

[northstar1]

So, I have such a strong relationship with my girlfriend, and I love her so much my words can't even describe. We starting dating my freshman year in college and her junior year in H.S. We spend almost every day with each other, and we have been together for 2 years this summer. We are both Christians, and she is very strong to her morals. We have had sex before, but have made the decision together to wait until marriage. We still have a just as exciting relationship as we did the first month.

As it's getting closer to picking where she's going to college, (I go to a local university) She says she wants to move away out of her parents house. She tells me everyday how much she loves me, And of course I believe her, but I just can't understand why she'd want to move away from me. I just feel like if it were the other way around, I would stay with her no question about it.

She's looking at a school about 8 and a half hours away from me

I have hinted to her, very carefully, that I would love for her to stay in town but she has made up her mind that staying at home isn't an option, and her parents wont let her move out unless she's far enough away for it to make sense. And private universities near by are hard to come by :/

 

This is really the only girlfriend I've had that I'm so content with, It scares me that things will be different. I'm so scared that she is going to meet someone else up there at her university and just live her life up there. I don't know if I'm just being weird about this or what, but it really has been on my mind the past couple weeks, and the anxiety wont leave my stomach.

Any advice on this to make me feel better would be so awesome. Thanks so much.

 

Sounds like you have a strong bond, so who knows what the future holds. Enjoy these times now.

 

She probably wants a new experience in life, that may include going out of state or city. I know I when I went to University, I wanted to get the heck out of my city and try something new. A lot of people I know who stayed at home and went to the local college missed out on a lot of experiences (new people, joining groups etc), because they just got up, went to class and came home.

 

If you decide to keep it going if she moves away, just keep in regular contact with her and be posiitive for her new experiences.

I'll be honest that most highschool relationships didn't last into college that I saw, but maybe you will buck the trend.

 

Good luck.