Flavour Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Well I receive an email this morning. What a nice way to wake up. He just finishes telling me that, if a woman pushes herself to him, he cannot be held responsible, he is a man 100%. I cannot tell you how angry I am. Is this the case? Is this really the case? He can go ahead without me. I have men around ALL the time. It never cross my mind. I have written him of not trying to contact me again. OMG! All the men are the same.....I would expect this phrase from an Italian, but as far as I can see all men are the same, on all latitudes. But THIS was the wrong phrase to write. 100%!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Well I receive an email this morning. What a nice way to wake up. He just finishes telling me that, if a woman pushes herself to him, he cannot be held responsible, he is a man 100%. I cannot tell you how angry I am. Is this the case? Is this really the case? He can go ahead without me. I have men around ALL the time. It never cross my mind. I have written him of not trying to contact me again. OMG! All the men are the same.....I would expect this phrase from an Italian, but as far as I can see all men are the same, on all latitudes. But THIS was the wrong phrase to write. 100%!!!!! I'm Italian too... nationality is not an excuse. You might want to ask him to elaborate and check ouf if he was serious... but sentences like that are usually a huge red flag and a sign it's time to get out!!! Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I'm just glad to hear you told him to stop writing you. I don't understand what that means, that he can't be held responsible because he's a man? If a woman pushes herself on my man he isn't going to give her what she wants, because he's smart, he's faithful, he's caring, and trully loving. There are plenty of men who are capable of being faithful, don't let a selfish, pigheaded, man child and those you meet like him convince you of any different. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 He can't be held responsible because he's an idiot, who just happens to be a man. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Dumbest thing I've ever heard. It's sad to see that some men have such a low opinion of their own sex's brains and integrity that they'd try to make such an excuse. I'm surprised other men don't bash those jerks' heads in when they hear such drivel. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 What a pathetic excuse. I have had a few women try to get with me after being married and I say no everytime. Men are perfecty capable of self control. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Men are perfecty capable of self control.Though we sometimes wonder why and whether it's worth it Since you live in Italy, IMO, it's likely better to have a press the flesh R rather than a LDR. Just sayin'. Link to post Share on other sites
Ingenue Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 What a despicable thing to say over email. Phrases like that give the men a bad reputation. Evidently, he feels it unnecessary to take responsibility and accountability for his own actions and prefers blaming an entire group instead to absolve his guilt. He's an immature boychild who has no self-control. Good for you for telling him NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Lovin a scrapper Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I'm surprised other men don't bash those jerks' heads in when they hear such drivel. Id love to have a few minutes with pieces of crap like that and I know that Im not the only one! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flavour Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 Oh, but this is the man who wants to marry me in June, who says that being so far from me is untolerable, that his eyes are only for me, that I drive him crazy......AAAAAARRRGGHHHH if only I could bang my head on the wall! How vcould I be so crazy? What sort of statement is that? I don't mean to discuss, I am so hurt....today I have switched off the phone because I could not stand to hear from him. I cannot have the phone switched off all the time! Tomorrow morning I bet as soon as I switch it on he is there! I don't know what to do....I would like to understand better, but what on earth could I understand more? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flavour Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 I'm Italian too... nationality is not an excuse. You might want to ask him to elaborate and check ouf if he was serious... but sentences like that are usually a huge red flag and a sign it's time to get out!!! I am Italian too....this man is from the US instead. I expected a different attitude! No hope! I found an american a bit "Italian shaped" (joking.....but I really would have appreciated a different kind of point of view, something different from "I am too macho to resist"! OMG) Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Well I receive an email this morning. What a nice way to wake up. He just finishes telling me that, if a woman pushes herself to him, he cannot be held responsible, he is a man 100%.So his entire frame of reference is his dick. What a brainchild. I cannot tell you how angry I am. Is this the case? Is this really the case? He can go ahead without me. I have men around ALL the time. It never cross my mind. I have written him of not trying to contact me again.While I don't blame you for dumping him like yesterday's news, did you explain why you don't ever want him to contact you again? OMG! All the men are the same.....I would expect this phrase from an Italian, but as far as I can see all men are the same, on all latitudes. But THIS was the wrong phrase to write. 100%!!!!!Okay, now you're being unreasonable and overly dramatic. I truly hope you don't honestly believe that all men are like your former dick. Link to post Share on other sites
gopher Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 What a pathetic excuse. I have had a few women try to get with me after being married and I say no everytime. Men are perfecty capable of self control. Agree....just an excuse on his part. Link to post Share on other sites
looking4 green grass Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 He can't be held responsible because he's an idiot, who just happens to be a man. *snort* hahahahah Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Lesson learned, NO MORE long distance relationships....If he cant drive to your house, dont date him! Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 This guy sounds like a real piece of work but don't think all men are like this. If anybody male or female is incapable of controlling their actions they need to seek help because it is not normal. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 I am Italian too....this man is from the US instead. I expected a different attitude! No hope! I found an american a bit "Italian shaped" (joking.....but I really would have appreciated a different kind of point of view, something different from "I am too macho to resist"! OMG) First of all, you don't need to marry this guy if you want to be with a husband you can trust. I hope you'll break off this relationship. And, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm just curious by something you said. Americans are constantly being criticized because we don't tolerate infidelity. Europeans claim to have this 'understanding' that their spouse is going to have someone on the side, and they say that Americans are just too uptight about this. I have never understood how anyone would be ok with infidelity and, being Italian, you don't seem to ok with it like Europeans say they are. Maybe you can clarify that for me because I've always wondered about it. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 It's just a stereotype. I can't think of one woman I've met anywhere in the world who embraced infidelity at any level. Some tolerate it simply because of circumstances (usually ones of security), but I don't recall any being 'OK' with it. This would include Europe, FSU, Asia and Australia, IME. Here's a good one....ask that Italian man how he enjoys his wife or GF boning another guy. LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flavour Posted September 26, 2009 Author Share Posted September 26, 2009 And, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm just curious by something you said. Americans are constantly being criticized because we don't tolerate infidelity. Europeans claim to have this 'understanding' that their spouse is going to have someone on the side, and they say that Americans are just too uptight about this. I have never understood how anyone would be ok with infidelity and, being Italian, you don't seem to ok with it like Europeans say they are. Maybe you can clarify that for me because I've always wondered about it. You are joking.....of what Europeans are you talking about? Yes, French have their "copains" or something but I think this is also a stereotype. I am Italian and we don't like infidelity at all. I have English and Spanish and Hungarians and Polish and Scottish friends....and noone can stand infidelity at all. Usually an Italian man can use this excuse, oh but she has provoked me it has been a mistake......I really never thought to hear something like that from an American, I don't know why. Anyway, he has not called AT ALL. He is a psycho or something? It is not normal. This relationship is over and probably I am lucky. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flavour Posted September 26, 2009 Author Share Posted September 26, 2009 While I don't blame you for dumping him like yesterday's news, did you explain why you don't ever want him to contact you again? Yes. I wrote him that as clearly he gave no value to our relationship, because he was not able to stay faithful, he could go ahead without me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flavour Posted September 26, 2009 Author Share Posted September 26, 2009 I have cancelled him also from Facebook ( the ultimate border of breaking a relationship ) I know I will be sad tomorrow. This blow has not really reached me. I try to understand but I ma not able to. MY GOD, I had bought an INTERCONTINENTAL TICKET to be with him at the beginning of November....I hope they will take it back. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Yes. I wrote him that as clearly he gave no value to our relationship, because he was not able to stay faithful, he could go ahead without me.Good!! The positive side to this, is that he said it prior to the two of you getting married. Imagine moving to an unfamiliar country, knowing no one therefore having no support system, getting married, only to find the guy's a putz! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Generally, with most international fares, you can cancel (prior to outbound flight) and use the ticket for up to one year from when originally booked, less a change fee. Or, you could just go to Italy and enjoy yourself. Lots of Italian men there Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flavour Posted September 26, 2009 Author Share Posted September 26, 2009 Generally, with most international fares, you can cancel (prior to outbound flight) and use the ticket for up to one year from when originally booked, less a change fee. Or, you could just go to Italy and enjoy yourself. Lots of Italian men there I am already in Italy I have bought a ticket for US Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flavour Posted September 26, 2009 Author Share Posted September 26, 2009 Good!! The positive side to this, is that he said it prior to the two of you getting married. Imagine moving to an unfamiliar country, knowing no one therefore having no support system, getting married, only to find the guy's a putz! I agree 100% Link to post Share on other sites
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