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Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

 
 
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Old 31st August 2009, 10:09 AM   #1
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Quick Question

So at the end of the summer I met this girl who came over to my friends house. We hooked up the first night, second night, and even the third night. I asked her if she would want to go on a date with me and she did, cause I told her that I would like to get to know her better before we went any farther sexually. We kicked it off really good and we talked everyday after that. I told her that I would like to spend time alone with her when my friends were not around and she agreed. She took me to a party to meet her friends, and she let me kiss her in front of them and what not. So she wasn't shy in showing her feelings towards me. Once her friends left for college and we still had 1.5 weeks until ours started, we went on multiple dates to movies, dinner, the mall and even the beaches. We seemed pretty much in-separable and we liked each other a lot. Then after one night, we watched a movie together and we decided to be intimate. We did it for the first time at her parents house that night and I started to have a lot of feelings for this girl, and I felt that she had a lot of feelings for me. We ended up being intimate 5-6 more times after that for the last week we had together. I had dinner with her family twice, and she came down to my condo to be with me. She even drove 45 minutes to be with me when it was really late at night, before she got on her flight the next day to go to school. She cried that she was leaving, and was going to miss me a lot. So I asked her, do you want to make this official? or what is the deal? And she told me that she had a boyfriend her whole previous year in college, and that she wanted to stay single for a semester to see what she wants and to be able to find herself and see what it's like to be single in college. So I agreed since she just broke up with him four months earlier. So now that she is in college I have been talking to her everyday for a hour or two. She brings up situations where she could have hooked up with guys already up their, or she was grind dancing with other guys at parties. She would tell me this face to face over the internet, it seemed as if she was testing me or was trying to push me away? She says she misses me and cares for me but doesn't want to become official cause it's a LDR and she was already in one for a whole year the previous year. I told her to take her time, so she can figure things out. She was like, "I don't want to make you wait for me so you can do other things and meet other people". I didn't really know what to think, and I feel this girl is sending me mixed signals? can someone give me some advice, should I stay with her or give her a chance still? or should I move on. I try to not give up on things that seem good and have a chance to be successful. So please give me expert opinions
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Old 5th September 2009, 11:25 PM   #2
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I think you should tell her how you really feel, and see what happens. It may be true that she really does like you, but at the same time she feels that she needs time to relax and just have a bit of fun in between relationships. LDR are difficult, and maybe she is not ready for that. Just be honest with her and tell her how you are feeling.
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Old 18th September 2009, 10:40 AM   #3
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so an update on my situation, well she says she cares, likes hookin up with me, loves bein with me, and likes me a lot, but she wants the freedom of hookin up with other guys and not have the regret of hurting me. So I just told her that I need to stop trying and for her not to call me when she is up there. There is no point to really talk unless she is closer and possibly we can reconnect in the summer time is what I told her. Do you guys think I did the right thing? I still think about her a lot and I haven't talked to her in a week now, and I hope she feels the same way.
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Old 20th September 2009, 5:50 PM   #4
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anyone??? need some advice please
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Old 20th September 2009, 6:03 PM   #5
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If you want a relationship with someone and they tell you any other answer other than "yes" or "me too" then you should move on.

You are looking for an exclusive relationship, correct?

Well, she is searching for other options so I would think that in a nutshell makes the two of you incompatible, right?
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Old 20th September 2009, 11:32 PM   #6
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Ya I do want a exclusive relationship, but before she left she told me that she prolly wont find anyone else like me and will probably be with me in the end. She doesn't know though when she wants a relationship again, because she hasn't gotten to experience college single due to the relationship she had the whole previous year. Like its at the point that if she was in town with me we'd be a couple, but since its a LDR it won't work? if that makes sense. I think I should just wait until she is back in the summer and move on and see if she contacts me then or when she is on breaks. In the meantime I guess I should try and find someone else and once this girl realizes that she blew it, it'll be to late for her.
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