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Here's the deal... My long distance guy and I are about 200 miles away...which sux big time. I am 22 and he is 28, he has a 7 year old daughter that he sees every other weekend. Him and I see eachother every few weeks. I am originally from where he lives and we have been together for 8 months....did I mention we met on the net? I want to move down there primarily for him, but not move in with him, we are not ready for that yet. I need to find a better job anyways...and that is where I need to be to do so. He is not an affectionate guy, but oh well! I am just venting here. Should I stay or should I go???????????????

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Should I stay or should I go???????????????

 

You are the only one who can possibly decide whether it's right to move there or not; us strangers on the net here can't really advise you. You know him, you know how you feel, you will have to decide.

 

A starting point, if youre considering it, is to see IF you can find a better job there (versus just moving there and then looking for work)....

 

You mention that he's not an affectionate guy. That doesn't sound good. Can you handle being with a guy who's not affectionate? Can you be happy that way? We all need affection, to varying degrees, shown to us by our partners. Do you think you might be 'settling for less' to be with someone who's not affectionate?? Why do you think he's like that? Have you brought this up to him at all, and if so, what does he say?

 

Have you spent enough time together 'in real life' over these past months that you've been dating, to know him enough to know you want to relocate? It's easy to think you know someone 'online' but spending a lot of time with them in real life can show more about them; things that often times aren't that great.

 

ALSO: Have you talked to your boyfriend about relocating? What does he say about it? Does he think it's a good idea? If you haven't brought it up, you should......don't mean to burst your bubble but there are people out there who enjoy 'long distance relationships' because they can have more freedom to come and go as they please.

 

You also have to consider how things might change if you're there. He gets his daughter every second weekend. How will she accept you, his girlfriend, being around more often? Have you spent much time with her? Will you grow frustrated when he has her for those weekends and you have to 'share him'..or maybe he'll want just some Dad-daughter time and you'll have to find other things to do?

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Here's the deal, bear with me...

I am 22, he is 28. We are a long-distance couple, 200 miles. We have been together for almost 8 months. He's divorced and has a 7 year old daughter. I have met his daughter several times and we get along great. I am originally from the area he lives in now, but we met on the net. I brought up the idea of moving in with him a couple of months ago and he said we should wait until we are further along in our relationship...and that we should get a place TOGETHER. That all makes sense to me and I am cool with it. I think I love him, and it accidentally slipped out about a month ago....he ignored it, but talked to him about my feelings.....being that I really like him and wish I could spend more time with him(we only see eachother every few weeks). He just says the same...that he really likes me and that he wants more time with me too. He works a lot of overtime and when he isn't working he gets his daughter. So I usually go see him on my days off from work during the week. When I am visiting we argue a lot about being able to spend more time together...and then there is the usual 10 minute sex-a-thon. I am trying my damdest to find a job where he is so we can be closer...and he is supportive of that idea...but still not ready to get a place together. I have had the inclination to break up with him before and when I talked to him about it he says that I just need to be more patient with things and they will fall into place naturally, and that I need to stop trying to rush things. I totally understand his points of view and I know he is not cheating on me or anything crazy like that. So my question is......am I a crazed girlfriend who just wants a commitment, or am I being legitimate in my wants and needs???? This is my longest relationship to date believe it or not! So I need advice....all of my friends are in long-term relationships(living with their boyfriends) so they can't even remember when they were in my situation. HELP! HELP! Please!

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He knows I want to move back to the area(I grew up there). His daughter accepts me fully, so that's no problem. I have lots of friends there so finding something to do when he wants time alone with his daughter is no biggie either. as far as work goes I need to make more money...and that is where it is! Thank you though....great insight....it's started me thinking more! thank you thank you thank you!

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