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This is my problem...

 

In the late 90s i met this girl in Kentucky (I live in new york city) and we developed a long term relationship that is strong until this very day.

now, this women knows my inner most fantasies (and approves), and what drives me, emotionally, and sexually, we love and respect each other and want to make each other happy.

 

on the other hand. I just met this girl at work, and we have been fooling around, I really like this girl, but there are some problems.

1. she is younger then me (i am 27 she is 20)

2. her mother has her on lock down, she has 0 freedom.

3. we work together, and are sneaking around basically.

4. this girl doesn't care for my fetish. (its nothing abnormal)

 

Now the Kentucky girl is getting serious about coming up and seeing me, maybe even making something work (moving here and finding work), and at the same time stuff is getting steamy with this girl from work. Now i find myself in a situation where I can lose both of these girls, if I act either way. Any advice???

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kalrin2001,

 

Ummm...

 

Ever heard the phrase: "Havin' your cake and eatin' it, too?"

 

Do yourself and both these girls a favor, and get a healthier lifestyle.

 

 

Best,

TMichaels

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Rollercoasterr

I think that you're only thinking about yourself, and that's so selfish. I'm a Kentucky girl, or I wouldn't have even bothered posting on this. Really. Pathetic.

 

Just tell them both that you've been playing them, and see how fast they run away from you. Can't blame 'em.

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This is my problem...

 

In the late 90s i met this girl in Kentucky (I live in new york city) and we developed a long term relationship that is strong until this very day.

now, this women knows my inner most fantasies (and approves), and what drives me, emotionally, and sexually, we love and respect each other and want to make each other happy.

 

if you loved and respected this woman you would not be "fooling" around with someone else. and i cant seeing how being with someone else would make her happy.

 

on the other hand. I just met this girl at work, and we have been fooling around, I really like this girl, but there are some problems.

1. she is younger then me (i am 27 she is 20)

2. her mother has her on lock down, she has 0 freedom.

3. we work together, and are sneaking around basically.

4. this girl doesn't care for my fetish. (its nothing abnormal)

 

Now the Kentucky girl is getting serious about coming up and seeing me, maybe even making something work (moving here and finding work), and at the same time stuff is getting steamy with this girl from work. Now i find myself in a situation where I can lose both of these girls, if I act either way. Any advice???

 

I think you should fess up and be honest either way someone is getting hurt. I dont think losing them would hurt you at all.......IMHO

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Hi, i am not playing anybody at the moment.

 

The Kentucky girl is not my girlfriend at the moment, I posted here because i thought maybe i'd get a mature response, what's pathetic is the judgement people feel so confident in casting down on the iternet without first putting themselves in a certain situation. I have real feelings for both of these girls, i don't see what is so unhealthy about my lifestyle, pfft, you have no clue about my lifestyle. lol.

 

losing either or would hurt, yes, i am not a sleeze ball, this sorta just, happened....

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lonelypiscesguy

And my ex GF thinks I'M selfish! Dude, you've spent at least 10 years creating something with this 'Kentucky girl' and now you want to piss it away? Good luck to you...

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Hi, i am not playing anybody at the moment.

 

The Kentucky girl is not my girlfriend at the moment, I posted here because i thought maybe i'd get a mature response, what's pathetic is the judgement people feel so confident in casting down on the iternet without first putting themselves in a certain situation. I have real feelings for both of these girls, i don't see what is so unhealthy about my lifestyle, pfft, you have no clue about my lifestyle. lol.

 

losing either or would hurt, yes, i am not a sleeze ball, this sorta just, happened....

 

 

HUH? You are the one who said you were in a relationship with the Kentucky girl. Its still selfish to lead them both on, no matter what feelings you have for them.

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HUH? You are the one who said you were in a relationship with the Kentucky girl. Its still selfish to lead them both on, no matter what feelings you have for them.

 

yeah but there are hundreds of miles between us, and I've met her once in person. and while we have talked for over a decade, and formed a strong bond, she has seen other people as have i, now she wants to come up here to be with me.

we never agreed to be abstinent, and I would not be cheating on her by seeing someone else.

 

THE REAL problem is that now she wants to come up here, and i want her to but there is another women, whom i have real feelings for.

 

maybe i should have worded my original post better, but Jesus Christ people, bandwagon much?

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Your original post made it seem like you were in a committed, exclusive relationship with the Kentucky girl. You cant blame us for that.

 

 

Now with a clearer picture available. I still think You should let them both know whats up. It hurts more being lied to than to hear the honest truth.

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Rollercoasterr

Seriously, you want mature answers? How about be a mature man? Whether you're in a relationship with this girl or not, you've been leading her on. You've made her have such intense feelings that she's thinking of moving up to you.

 

I don't give a rats hind-end about your lifestyle or your fetishes, what you're doing is sleazy, AND disrespectful to both of these women.

 

You wonder why you get bad responses? Pfft.

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Your original post made it seem like you were in a committed, exclusive relationship with the Kentucky girl. You cant blame us for that.

 

 

Now with a clearer picture available. I still think You should let them both know whats up. It hurts more being lied to than to hear the honest truth.

 

mature response, thank you. I am aware what my original post seemed like, I do have love for her, and we both want to be with each other very much, but we aren't quite together right at this moment, and have never been boyfriend and girlfriend.

 

Seriously, you want mature answers? How about be a mature man? Whether you're in a relationship with this girl or not, you've been leading her on. You've made her have such intense feelings that she's thinking of moving up to you.

 

I don't give a rats hind-end about your lifestyle or your fetishes, what you're doing is sleazy, AND disrespectful to both of these women.

 

You wonder why you get bad responses? Pfft.

Immature and irrational, i don't care if you care, seriously, my lifestyle is no one's business. You will find yourself in questionable situations sometime in your life, I am positive of that, (if you haven't been, then you are not a human being) and I hope you get the same response that you have shown me. there are guys out there that would not give the feelings of both of these girls a second thought... this is bothering me immensely or i would not have come to find a place to post about it. Sometimes sitautions turn out in ways that you have not foreseen. it happens to everybody.

 

You seem like you are looking for confrontation, please find it elsewhere, thank you.

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Rollercoasterr

I'm not looking for a confrontation, you came here for peoples thoughts, and I'm giving it to you. I've NEVER been in a "questionable" position, as you put it. I always know better than to play with peoples emotions because it's not right. You don't just mess with someones heart so that you can have an easier life. And essentially that's what you're doing. You're keeping the Kentucky girl hanging because you've known her for so long, yet you're about to let her uproot her life and move to a place that's very far from where she lives when you're messing around with another girl. You say you like the other girl, but she isn't into the things that you are. So you need to take your pick, but tell them both because it's going to bite you in the ass even worse later on.

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Hmm yeah, I see your point, and you do have one.

I am not however trying to play with anybodies emotions, to make my life easier? if anything this is making my life harder? lol...

 

I am not making her uproot her life, if you read up a bit, i said that we have both been seeing other people on and off for the last decade. she wants to come up here to be with me, and maybe make something work out in the long run (guess i should have worded that better too) so she will be going back.

 

and what i am into would not matter so much, but she is also into what i am into, while the girl up here is so-so about it. I am at the point in my life where a serious relationship is what I am after, i'm not even sure if this younger girl is after that at all. For all i know she can be playing ME right now, she is 20 years old...

 

the situation is not good for anyone involved, yes i am thinking of myself as well (someone has to right?) sorry It might be selfish to do that, but at the same time I am thinking of everybody, While trying to decide what to do...

in the end someone is going to get hurt, be it me or one of them, or both of them.

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Rollercoasterr

I'm not saying that you're asking her to do it, I'm saying that you're allowing her to, which is almost just as bad. If you're having second thoughts about her, DO NOT let her do this. It might hurt her if you do, but it'll hurt her worse if she moves and you break her heart, whether you meant to or not.

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OMG....Please stop what you are doing! I just went through something similar......I was the girl who got played! Whatever you say you are still leading on this girl from Kentucky. My eight month LDR just ended because the Jerk I was with did what you are doing now! I am in SC and the Jerk was in NJ. I was just about to go and visit him for the first time in eight months....nevermind eventually move up there if things worked out. Long story short.....he met a girl up there and continued to lead me on in the process! Once he found out I was serious about coming up there he went POOF!! It hurt tremendously let me tell you!!!! Please don't continue this. It's better to be upfront than to lie and lead people on. I don't care how you sugarcoat it.....you are still playing both of these girls! Wow 10 years? I was only in my relationship with the Jerk for 8 months and it hurt like hell when I found out!! Good Luck Buddy!!!!

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I'm not saying that you're asking her to do it, I'm saying that you're allowing her to, which is almost just as bad. If you're having second thoughts about her, DO NOT let her do this. It might hurt her if you do, but it'll hurt her worse if she moves and you break her heart, whether you meant to or not.

 

I completely agree with rollercoaster here. You really need to make up your mind. Maybe you just like the Kentucky girl as a really good friend. And you seem(from your responses) that you like the girl at work more but are hesitant because of her age and not quite knowing what she wants. Either way you need to make up your mind. You cant keep playing with their emotions. No matter how unintentional it is.

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