Debster Posted October 7, 2002 Share Posted October 7, 2002 Hi, Background: I've posted earlier about my insecurities in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been on again, off again for the past two years. Most of the times we've broken up because he starts pulling away. However, he's always kept coming back to me and wanting to give it another chance. The old classic commitment phobe. This time we've been in a long-distance relationship with him in another continent for the past five months. I haven't seen him for three months. The first two months of that, was ok but we were both frustrated with the distance. He said that when he moves back he wants to move in. I was very happy about that. The last month or so we've been fighting a lot - He's been pulling away again, making me insecure. Before we used to talk almost every day and send emails and letters - now we go about a week without talking. He says its because we argue and that makes him avoid calling. Now I get an email from him saying that his old roomate wants to know if he'll be moving back in - and he thinks it might be a good idea for the time being. Do you think this mean he's giving up on the relationship AGAIN and just doesn't have the balls to come clean with me? Or do you think this means that he's going through commitment problems again? Has anyone gone through something similar? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 7, 2002 Share Posted October 7, 2002 Living together can be difficult in the very best of conditions. The two of you have been "fighting a lot" (quoting you) long distance for the last month or so. What good reason would he have for moving in with a lady with whom he can't even get along with on the telephone? Sit back, take some nice deep breaths, and give some hard thought to why the two of you have been having these arguments. Not only should you not move in together but if you can't start getting along you should break up!!! He has made a sane, rational, mature and humane decision for which he should be complimented and you should be grateful. He thinks enough of you to not want to make your life miserable by carrying these arguments over to your living space. When he gets back and (if the two of you stay together) dates you again for a period of time with the frequency of arguments substantially reduced, I'm sure he will consider a move with you once more. Most people do not want to move in with people they don't get along with. Link to post Share on other sites
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